House

Dr. Cameron: Are there any stronger treatments for the organophosphate poisoning? House: Oh, damn it, you caught me. We went with the weak stuff. Just trying to save a little money.

House: You're brain damaged. Doomed to feeling good for the rest of your life.

House: I want you to go to his house and find his stash. I'll bet you know all the good hiding spots. Dr. Foreman: Actually, I never did drugs. House: (speaking to Cameron) Better go with him. In case he gets high.

Dr. Wilson: (quoting a poem from a patient of House's) "The healer with his magic powers! / I could rub his gentle brow for hours. / His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, / Everything about him leave me raw..." House: Psych ward's upstairs Dr. Wilson: "...with joy. Oh, House, your very name / Will never leave this girl the same." It's not bad for an 82-year-old. She asked me to give that to her true love. House: What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on. Dr. Wilson: That's fairly disgusting. House: And that's ageism. Dr. Wilson: You better watch yourself around this babe.

House: Well, you're getting good at this God-like doctor racket. Why don't you talk her out of this lunacy? Dr. Foreman: She's not really a big fan of mine. Dr. Chase: Or mine. House: Well, only one male left in the bullpen, and he throws like a girl. Dr. Cameron: I hate sports metaphors.

Dr. Cameron: You really never did any drugs? Dr. Foreman: Now this is gonna be a racial thing. Dr. Cameron: Deflecting a personal question with a joke. Gee, who do I know that does that? Dr. Foreman: Yeah, I'm just like him. Except for the angry, bitter, pompous, cripple part. Dr. Cameron: Maybe we should all pitch in and get you a nice cane. You already have the matching gym shoes.

Dr. Cameron: I'll check into it. Dr. Foreman: I'll make the call. Dr. Chase: I'll keep the kid alive. For a while at least. House: I'll have lunch.

Georgia: I notice colors more. And music. I...I'm really hearing music. I'm eighty-two, and I'm supposed to be playing canasta with the other old ladies, but…now when I see a guy with a cute butt...I just can't stop looking at him. (looks at House) Or a sexy beard. House: And you figure that enjoying cute butts is a sign of disease?

House: I am extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting new designer drugs and you come back with tomato sauce.

Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his AP calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented. House: That's the way calculus presents.

House: I assume "minimal at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell"? Dr. Chase: I'm Australian. House: You put the Queen on your money. You're British.

Matt: Who are those guys? Margo: Oh, they're the arrogant jerks that saved your life.

House: Although there's a real good chance... Margo: What? Matt might kick off? House: It's a little blunt. I was going to say "run out of time." Just kinda let my voice trail off...

Margo: What makes you think you're right this time? House: The same thing as last time.

Dr. Wilson: Hey, I'm a man - I don't have time for laundry. I'm saving lives here!

House: I'm sorry - the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been overstimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship. I learned that one the hard way.

House: Would you step outside for a minute, Mr. Adams? Mark: Why? House: Because you irritate me.

Margo: Who are you? House: I'm the doctor who's trying to save your son. You're the mom who's letting him die. Clarification-–it's a beautiful thing.

Dr. Cuddy: (to House) Her only sign of mental illness is that she disagrees with you. Some would consider that a sign of sanity.

House: But I am going to admit (Georgia) to the hospital for tests. Mark: What tests? She's just old. House: And you're just insufferable.

Georgia: And now...I think about Ashton (Kutcher) all the time. (whispers) All the time. House: Ah. Georgia: You remind me of him. Same bedroom eyes. House: People are always mixing us up.

Dr. Foreman: You know why House thinks I'm a druggie? Dr. Cameron: This is going to be a racial thing, isn't it?