Dr. Penza is trying to resuscitate a patient, Diana, and fails. He calls it and the body is taken to the morgue. Dr. Peter Treiber prepares to do the autopsy and confirms a myocardial infection, but that Penza never caught it and gave steroids, aggravating her condition. Treiber records his recommendation to investigate Penza's patient care, noting it's his third such recommendation. As Treiber begins to cut open the brain, he suddenly places the scalpel to his own head and starts cutting. When an orderly comes in, Treiber complains about feeling cold as blood seeps down his face.
House arrives at the hospital parking garage and parks, as Wilson pulls up in a new sports car. He parks in a handicap spot and tells House that he's decided to dedicate himself to selfishness and embracing the shallow. House points out that his scan is in three days and wonders if he's killing time, but Wilson says that he's driving to meet Julie Christie, his boyhood crush. She's hosting an animal charity in Cleveland and Wilson boasts that he's abandoning his patients to indulge himself. House doesn't believe it and Wilson doesn't care if he believes him as he lets the elevator door close in someone's face.
At the conference room, Foreman gives House the files on Treiber and notes that the tox screen is clean. House suggests Walking Corpse Syndrome and dismisses it as uninteresting now that he's solved it. However, Foreman points out that there's he's already ruled that out and explains that Treiber won't let anyone but House next to him. As House takes an interest, Park asks how Wilson is doing. House says that they're waiting to see if the chemo shrunk his tumor. After asking if they can help, Adams suggests liver failure while House wonders why Chase hates Treiber. Taub points out that no one likes Treiber and vice versa, because he finds their mistakes. Park insists that Treiber makes sure that doctors are accountable, while Chase wonders if Treiber caught something from Diana, who used dimethyl sulfoxide. He suggests that the defibrillator converted it to dimethyl sulfate, releasing toxic fumes. Park suggests clots and House tells Adams and Chase to ultrasound for clots while Taub and Park check for toxins.
As Chase and Adams ultrasound Treiber, the pathologist complains that House isn't there. Chase assures him that they're carrying out House's direct orders, and Treiber points out that his error margin is smaller than Chase's. They check and don't find any clots.
Taub and Park don protective suits and check out the morgue. Park is impressed that Treiber has kept a record of all of the doctors' errors. She points out that he noticed a link in child deaths that led to the creation of new policy. There's no sign of dimethyl sulfate and Park suggests more tests. She notes that he uses non-standard tools like a hunting knife, and they both find dozens of energy drinks.
Wilson comes in to House's office and suggests a road trip. House isn't interested in listening to Wilson's whines, telling him that he hasn't changed and won't despite Wilson's insistence that he has. Wilson, undeterred, warns that he'll inject House with Propofol when he isn't expecting it and take him along. As Wilson leaves, the team comes in and shows House the caffeine energy drinks. They figure they just have to hydrate him for 24 hours and House leaves, declaring the case closed.
That night, Treiber has abdominal pains and they determine that there is distention. The next day in differential, the team gathers without House and tries to differentiate without success. When they have no luck, they try to call House and discover that he and Wilson left their cell phones in Wilson's office.
Wilson and House hit the road and Wilson insists on driving himself and stopping for nothing. House admits that he's impressed with Wilson's attempts to maintain his façade. He's surprised that Wilson hasn't talked about it, and Wilson still refuses to talk about it. Wilson prefers to use the name Kyle Calloway for the next three days and be a different person who shares no qualities with James Wilson.
Treiber refuses to let the team do anything without House. Chase suggests cancer causing an intussusception and proposes that they trick him into thinking that House ordered the x-ray to check.
House and Wilson stop at a roadside diner and House figures that he left the phones behind so he wouldn't backslide and call his ex-wives. Wilson orders an 80-ounce steak that he gets free if he eats in an hour, and even House is impressed.
Taub and Chase get the x-ray and find no sign of an intussusception. They claim that House said it was there and Treiber tells them to run his bowels. When they warn that it takes serious surgery, Treiber says that he knows it's easy to miss an obstruction on a scan and he refuses any other treatment until they do. He then asks Chase to do the surgery, admitting he has the statistically lowest error rate in the hospital.
With time running out and everyone cheering, Wilson tries to finish the steak. House feeds him the last piece and Wilson swallows it as the crowd applauds... and then he throws up.
Treiber is taken into surgery and Chase asks why he treats him like an idiot. The pathologist says that Chase is wasting his talent and explains that he relocated to Princeton and broke up his girlfriend just so he could work with House on a fellowship. However, Chase's father made a call and suddenly Chase was in and Treiber was out. Treiber points out that Chase was given everything that he should have had but hasn't done anything with it after nine years.
Wilson cleans up in the bathroom and tells House that he's glad he did it. For one fleeting moment for a stupid reason, he was a hero and it felt good. Wilson then goes out and orders dessert.
Chase conducts the surgery and checks Treiber's bowels, and points out to Taub that when House was in the hospital, he spent the nine months surfing. He admits that while Foreman and Cameron have moved on with their careers and become successful. They find an obstruction in the bowels but it's not an intussusception. The team tries to call House without success, and Chase refuses to tell anyone. He suggests that Treiber is in the middle of an intermittent porphyria attack. The drug to treat will injure him if he's wrong, but Chase doesn't believe they are and warns that if they don't treat with hemin then Treiber will soon die. He leaves, ignoring Adams' objections.
As they drive, Wilson tells House that he wants a threesome and not think about consequences. House finally agrees and tells Wilson to do exactly what he tells him.
Chase tells Treiber that House believes that they should go with the hemin, and the heavily anesthetized Treiber agrees.
When House tells Wilson to shave his head, he goes with a bald cap instead and they go to a bar. House explains that cancer sympathy is the best way to get a woman, and points out attractive woman. Wilson realizes that she's a hooker and refuses to pay, but House says that it's his treat. Wilson suggests the bartender and when she comes over, House tells her that Wilson is dying of cancer. She takes sympathy on him and House asks when she gets out.
Treiber has pleural effusions, confirming it isn't porphyria. He demands to see House and Chase finally admits that they don't know where he is.
The next morning, Wilson comes out of a hotel room and knocks on the car where House is sleeping. He admits that the threesome was confusing and sad, but exactly what he needed. He thanks House and suggests he buy him wallet because one of the women stole his wallet.
Foreman calls the team in and tells them that Treiber isn't pressing charges despite the fact that they lied to him. Treiber has agreed to let Foreman handle the case and he's ordered a cardiac MRI. Chase is fine with the decision and starts to leave, but Foreman tells him that he isn't off the case. Taub suggests sarcoidosis but Chase disagrees, insisting it's a prion disease. Adams agreed, suggesting that Treiber caught it from a brain in storage. Foreman thinks that Treiber is too good to have made the mistake, but Chase points out that Treiber thinks that way about every other doctor. He says that they should treat for sarcoidosis and psion disease, but Taub points out that they can't do both. Foreman tells them to biopsy Treiber's heart.
House is down to $20 and says they can't use his credit cards because he's violating his probation by going out of state, and the credit cards will send up a flag. Wilson is confident they have enough gas to get to Julie Christie and doesn't care about anything else. House wonders how long Wilson's will keep up the charade, but Wilson says that it's no charade and House admits that he likes his friend's new personality.
Chase goes to the morgue and begins checking the brains stored in the freezer.
Wilson and House come to a funeral crossing and are forced to wait. As they watch the procession pass, Wilson stares at it for a moment and then finally drives past it. However, further down the road, Wilson loses control and drives the car through a fence and into a field. Once he makes sure House is okay, he tells him to start walking the last eleven miles.
Chase is sectioning brains when Park comes in and tells him that there's fibrosis in the cardiac muscle, meaning that it isn't sarcoidosis or prion disease. She points out that Chase is being a baby but he figures that it has to be something in the morgue because that's where he spends all his time. Chase explains that Treiber and Foreman don't see him qualified, and admits that they're right. He tells Park that he won't leave until he solves the case, and when it's over, he's quitting.
Park tells Foreman and the others, who don't believe that Chase is quitting. Foreman suggests an infection and Park points out that Chase predicted he would say that. They begin treatment for infection, and Taub wonders if Chase is serious. Foreman doesn't believe it but Taub warns that he's going to lose a good doctor. Foreman just stare at him and Taub walks away in disgust.
House and Wilson wait for a bus with an elderly woman, Ina. Wilson realizes that she's suffering from Alzheimer and has no idea when the next bus is coming. A cab comes by and House hails it, but Wilson refuses to leave Ina. He hesitates and House tries to convince Ina to come with them. Wilson objects and then says that he'll stay with her. House sends the cab on its way and sits down with Wilson and Ina.
Foreman goes to the morgue to see Chase, who is running tests for MRSA. Chase explains that he's learned enough to run his own team and it's time to move on. However, he admits he's felt that way every year. Foreman suggests he needs someone else calling the shots, and Chase figures that he came down to act like House and insult him into making a decision. His friend concedes the point and tells him that he'll either rise to the challenge and quit, or stay as a team member.
Treiber crashes as Park changes his IV bag and they confirm that he's gone into a coma. The team goes to the morgue and concedes that Chase might be right. However, he admits that he isn't and that he's gone through all of Treiber's records. They're thorough to a fault which means they missed something. As Chase cleans his hands, he realizes that it's the soap and leaves.
House and Wilson finally sell Wilson's watch and catch a bus back to Newark, and Wilson admits that he blew it. He couldn't even have three days of meaningless fun, and admits that he never had a crush with Julie Christie. He had a crush on a girl in high school who looked like Julie Christie, but she ended up with another guy who had a car, a band, and a mustache. The guy was Kyle Calloway, and the girl asked Wilson if he minded if she went with him. He said that he didn't and that was it. Wilson tells House that he doesn't want to go back and let a CT decide his fate--he just wants to keep on being Kyle. House tells him that "Kyle" would have ditched the old woman and House, and says that he can live without Kyle.
Treiber wakes up and Chase tells him that he screwed up. His industrial-strength antibacterial soap made his thyroid shut down. That combined with the energy drinks caused hypothyroidism. The sedatives kicked him into a myxedema crisis. Treiber concedes that he wouldn't have thought of the diagnosis and Chase points out that House taught him to look for the irony. As Chase goes, Treiber tells him that it wasn't House who diagnosed him.
Chase goes to see Foreman and tosses him his locker key. Foreman offers him his own team, but Chase says that it's time to step out of the shadow. After a moment, Foreman tells him that it's about time and hugs him. Chase then goes down to the CT chamber where House is monitoring Wilson. He thanks House and they shake hands. House admits that it's been fun and Chase tells him to let him know about Wilson. Once he's gone, Wilson asks why House let him go, and House starts to explain... and then stares at the CT monitor in shock.