Dr. Wilson: What are you doing tonight?
House: Masturbating. I'd invite you, but people are already talking.
Dr. Wilson: Come out with me tonight. I'm going speed dating.
House: You mean you're dating on meth? Count me in.
Dr. Wilson: I don't get it. I mean, okay, he was a friend of the family. You'd only known him when you were a kid. But if you wanted to meet him now, get an idea of what he's like, why not just go talk to him?
House: "Hi, it's Greg. You slept with my mother."
Dr. Wilson: You're capable of it.
Dr. Wilson: Because you're not ordinary, House. You're way out there on the fringe somewhere. I'm your best friend, and half the time I don't understand you. You're alone. Been alone your whole life.
Music: Chasing Pirates (Norah Jones), What's It Gonna Be (The Dynamites), The Sun is Shining Down (JJ Grey and Mofro), Lochloosa (JJ Grey and Mofro)
Jennifer Morrison is credited but doesn't appear.
Canada: March 8, 2010 on Global
UK: April 4, 2010 on Sky One
Australia: May 23, 2010 on Channel Ten
Israel: September 15, 2010 on HOT3
Czech Republic: November 3, 2010 on TV Nova
Germany: November 9, 2010 on RTL
Poland: December 16, 2010 on TVP2
Slovakia: January 4, 2011 on STV1
Sweden: April 19, 2011 on TV4
House: Big red As for your tunics.
Referencing Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel, The Scarlet Letter (1850), which tells the story of Hester Prynne. Set in the 17th century, Hester is branded an adulteress by the Puritan townspeople and forced to wear a red "A" to indicate her outcast status.
Dr. Wilson: Giving him a computer is like giving plutonium to Dr. No.
Referencing the 1958 novel of the same name by Ian Fleming, subsequently adopted as the first James Bond/United Artist movie in 1962. Dr. Julius No schemes to sabotage U.S. missiles in the Caribbean, and eventually meets his death at the hands of 007.
House: She couldn't have gone with Keyser Söze.
Referencing the 1995 movie The Usual Suspects directed by Bryan Singer. Keyser Söze is an enigmatic crime boss famed for his ruthlessness but rarely seen and his face is unknown to the authorities.