House Season 3 Episode 22

House: Aha! You yawned!
Dr. Wilson: Aha! You tried to kill me!

Dr. Wilson: (House) wants you to stay!
Dr. Foreman: He said that?
Dr. Wilson: If I say he said that, would that make a difference?

Dr. Wilson: (on speed, about House) You know he wants you, you know he's good, you know he can make you good. I don't know what I'm saying. You don't... I don't... you know what I'm saying and you know I'm right. I gotta go.

House: Depression manifests in lots of different ways. Some people can't get out of bed all day. Others have serial relationships and become oncologists.

Dr. Wilson: (being questioned by House about taking anti-depressants) It's personal.
House: How long's it been personal?
Dr. Wilson: It's personal.
House: The yawning's recent so either you just started or you changed prescription.
Dr. Wilson: This is why I take them.
House: They're anti-depressants, not "anti-annoyance-ants."

House: Unless your body can't finish out the fight. Maybe it goes a couple of rounds, then gives up.
Dr. Chase: Why would it give up?
House: Maybe its name is Foreman.

Dr. Foreman: You're happy about this.
Dr. Cameron: She's going to die.
House: That's not my fault, she was gonna die anyway. Now, thanks to me, at least she'll know why.
Dr. Chase: I'm sure you'll see that gratitude in her eyes when you tell her.

House: You're not going to tell him we're a family, and families don't abandon each other?
Dr. Cuddy: Do you want me to?
House: No.
Dr. Cuddy: Would it make any difference?
Dr. Foreman: No.

Dr. Chase: Addie has goosebumps.
Dr. Foreman: Ooh, no recovering from those babies.

House: No one writes tamoxifen like you.
Dr. Wilson: Well, I use a "G."

Dr. Wilson: You don't want to end up like you.
House: Good point. Can I resign?

Kyle: It's about my bowel movements.
House: What isn't these days?

House: I was about to examine her boyfriend's rectum.
Dr. Wilson: You asked for a date while your finger was in her boyfriend.
House: Got a number.

House: What would you think of me hiring a nutritionist instead of a neurologist. They sound almost the same.
Dr. Wilson: I take it you've met a hot nutritionist.
House: Don't cheapen this.

House: My patient's about to have a heart attack. It's going to be massive.
Dr. Cuddy: That's too bad, because I've got tickets to a stroke on the third floor.

Dr. Wilson: You're pissed at House. I get it. You're symbolicating killing him. "Symbolicating"? What? Symbolic-a-ating. Gosh, that's a hard word.

House: I'm accomplished, I'm funny, do I get what I want?

House: I'm on anti-depressants 'cause a doctor friend of mine thinks I'm miserable. I don't like them. They make me feel hazy. I eat meat. I like drugs. And I'm not always faithful to the women I date.
Honey: You don't seem depressed.
House: You do realize you just skipped over several deep character flaws that most women would run screaming from.
Honey: You told the truth.
House: Yeah. I don't always do that either.
Honey: Well, how miserable can you be saving lives, sleeping around, and doing drugs?
House: Were you on the debating team in high school?

House: Well, whatever floats your poop.

House: You can't ignore the blood because it's a minority, can he, Foreman?

Dr. Chase: Why's Foreman quitting?
House: He wants to breed llamas.

Dr. Wilson: How did you walk with the cane and two coffees?
House: Why are you suspicious?
Dr. Wilson: Cause it's either that or accept the fact that you've done something nice. Then I have to deal with the Horsemen, the Rain of Fire, and the End of Days.

Dr. Cuddy: Are you sure?
Foreman: Yeah
Dr. Cuddy: Why?
House: He's afraid of turning into me.
Dr. Cuddy: Well that's a good enough reason. (Cuddy passes Foreman the resignation papers)