Season 1 Episode 12

Sports Medicine

Aired Monday 9:00 PM Feb 22, 2005 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Trivia: When Warner Fitch visits Hank in the hospital, the balloons are for a bar mitzvah, not "get well" balloons.

    • In the opening scene Hank breaks his right upper arm, but the X-ray shows a broken left upper arm.

    • During the scene where Dr. Chase and Dr. Cameron are out having a drink, Cameron picks up Dr. Foreman's cell phone. Before she does she takes a drink of her soda. This drink drops the level of drink to half full. When Foreman returns a few seconds later she suddenly has a glass that is 3/4 full. There was no time for anyone to give her a refill.

    • They can't seem to decide what Hank's last name is. His baseball card says "Wiggen," but later House says, "Hank Wiggens stole your pills."

  • Quotes

    • Lola: You live alone?
      House: You writing a book?
      Lola: I made it a question just 'cause it's more polite.

    • House: Call me when he's stable—or dead.

    • Dr. Cameron: His heart rate is 130 and rising like a Randy Johnson line drive.
      House: 'A' for effort.

    • Lola: You're not gonna tell me it's a bad idea? Why give a kidney to someone who might not be able to use it?
      House: Not my area. That is, however, my chair.

    • Dr. Cameron: I was the first person (House) ran into. He just asked me.
      Dr. Chase: Yeah, like a date.
      Dr. Cameron: Exactly. Except for the "date" part.

    • Dr. Cameron: You asking me to go with you?
      House: Sure. Sounds good.
      Dr. Cameron: Like a…date?
      House: Exactly. Except for the "date" part.

    • House: You see, kidneys don't wear watches. Sure, gallbladders do, but it doesn't matter, 'cause kidneys can't tell time.

    • Lola: He drops a clean urine, denies using steroids, then you're giving him a drug for what, steroid abuse?
      House: No, no, it's not. It - it's got calcium in it. It's very good for the bones. Basically, on a molecular level, it's just milk.

    • House:See? Steroid use shrinks the testicles.
      Hank: I am clean, man - no steroids, no nothing.
      House: Your lips say no, your prunes say yes.

    • House: 5 p.m., Dr. House checks out.
      Cuddy: It's 4:45.
      House: I was rounding up.

    • House: Go ask him what he's on. When he says nothing, have him pee in a cup.

    • House: But I had three reasons.
      Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
      House: Well, let's see in a minute - I'm just making them up now.

    • Dr. Cuddy: You put him on lupra.
      House: Uh-huh.
      Dr. Cuddy: And you told him it was like milk?
      House: Yes.
      Dr. Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
      House: It's creamy.

    • House: "Hypo-gonadism." Ain't that a great word? Thanks - we don't get to say it enough.

    • Patient #2: I can't get my contact lenses out.
      House: Out of what - they're not in your eyes.
      Patient #2: They're red.
      House: That's because you're trying to remove your corneas.

    • House: All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we're on it like stink on cheese.

    • Lola: You have a big 'keep out' sign stapled on your forehead.
      House: That explains it. I told them to put it on my door.

    • (about Foreman's girlfriend)
      House: The groupies sleep with the roadies to get to Mick.
      Dr. Foreman: And you're...Mick?
      House: That was the metaphor I was making, yes.

    • Dr. Cameron: She buys lunches - she doesn't...
      House: Don't worry, you're not gay. You're...adventurous.

    • House: Hank Wiggen peed on me. What do you think these pants are worth on E-bay?

    • Dr. Chase: House says you were lying - I believe him.
      Dr. Foreman: What's that - you got a little wet smudge on the end of your nose...

    • House: Do you like monster trucks?
      Dr. Cameron: I don't know what they are...

    • House: You're religious.
      Dr. Cameron: You have to be religious to believe the fetus is alive?
      House: There seems to be a correlation.

    • House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends.
      Dr. Wilson: Huh.
      House: What? Are you saying I've only got one friend.
      Dr. Wilson: Who?
      House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
      Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl.
      House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name.

    • House: These tickets are so good, we have to sign a release. I mean it - we do this, we could die!

    • House: Let's not ruin a lovely night out by getting personal.

    • House: You take a perverse pleasure in turning me down.
      Dr. Cuddy: What I live for. Once in a while, though, try to ruin my day. Ask me something I can say "yes" to.

    • Lola: Get another explanation.
      House: Yeah, I have one in my other pants.

    • House: Which brings me to my fourth reason.
      Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three?
      House: I thought you'd buy one of them.

    • House: A very noble gesture. My favorite kind. Dramatic, yet completely empty.

    • House: True love. That's just how we match organs these days. There's a couple in France--high school sweethearts. They're trading brains.

  • Notes

    • Music: One of the songs playing while Cameron, Chase, and Foreman are at the bar is "You Better Stop" by Robert L. Wyckoff. The song playing in the restaurant with the new drug rep is "I Never Saw It Coming" by Windy Wagner.

    • Executive Producer Bryan Singer, director of the first two sci-fi X-Men movies, has a cameo role in this episode.

  • Allusions

    • House: The groupies sleep with the roadies to get to Mick.
      Referencing Sir Michael Philip "Mick" Jagger (born 26 July 1943). He is most famous for being the lead singer and co-founder (with guitarist Brian Jones) of the British rock and roll band "The Rolling Stones". House also made a reference to "The Stones" in the pilot episode.

    • House: And by better half, of course, I mean the one who struck out Sammy Sosa on three pitches and talks a lot less.
      Sammy Sosa is a popular baseball player and outfielder in the MLB, known for his heavy home-run hitting (and corked bats). He formerly played for the Chicago Cubs, and now plays for the Baltimore Orioles.

    • House: I'm Dr. House, and today is the coolest day of my life!
      A nod to fellow FOX show 24, where the lead character said, "I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life," to open up each episode of the first season.