House: Is that our precious little bundle of tumor? They grow up so fast, don't they?
House: No, I followed you.
Dr. Wilson: It didn't occur to you that might mean I don't want you involved in my cancer treatment?
House: I'm not here as a doctor. I'm here as a towering pillar of strength.
Dr. Wilson: Be a pillar in the parking lot.
Dr. Wilson: Go away. I have a headache.
House: We don't have to have sex. Sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk.
House: You're an idiot, and the odds say you're gonna die. We'll do it at my place.
House: To stupidity. Mm, not quite done. To muscle aches, spasms. To your joints feeling like they're being ripped out and replaced with shards of broken glass.
Dr. Wilson: Should I be writing any of this down?
House: Your stomach fills with bile. When you vomit, it feels like someone's forcing a white-hot hammer down your esophagus, tearing your flesh. Blood's dripping down the back of your throat, choking and gagging you with the slick coppery taste of burnt pennies.
Dr. Wilson: I am an oncologist. I know...
House: If you did, we wouldn't be sitting here. Day two; your white blood cells are gone, opening up your system to attack. Your temperature skyrockets. One second, your skin feels like it's on fire. The next second, it's entombed in ice. Every pain sensor in your body is firing at the same time until agony isn't even a word or a concept... it's your only reality. You hallucinate. You dream of death. And then the race begins. Can your body claw its way back in time before the hostile organisms and parasites claim you permanently. Win, you live. Lose, you die.
Dr. Wilson: If things go wrong, I just want you to know...
House: If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me, everyone just kind of assumed it.
Dr. Wilson: If I die, it probably won't go over well with your probation officer.
House: That's not gonna be an issue.
Dr. Wilson: I'm glad at least one of us is confident.
House: Not me. I've already identified a couple of spots to dump your body if this goes south.
Dr. Wilson: Well, I always enjoyed Trinity Park.
House: It does have a nice access to the lake.
Dr. Wilson: Am I dead yet?
House: Just feels that way. Are you okay? I mean, apart from the pain, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramps?
Dr. Wilson: I should've spent my life being more like you. Should've been a manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic ass who brought misery to everything and everyone in his life.
House: You'd still have cancer.
Dr. Wilson: Yeah! But at least I'd feel like I deserved it.
Music: Any Way You Want It (Journey)
Canada: April 30, 2012 on Global
UK: May 3, 2012 on Sky1
Israel: May 23, 2012 on HOT3
Germany: November 13, 2012 on RTL
Sweden: February 5, 2013 on TV4
Finland: October 28, 2013 on MTV3