A bride-to-be, Nicole, is waiting outside the chapel as her father arrives to escort her in. She assures him that the groom, Ted, is the second greatest man she knows. They go in and the wedding begins. The reverend asks if Ted takes Nicole as his wife, but he freezes up and then collapses.
Wilson wakes up in bed next to Sam. As he starts to make love to her, she warns that House is in the next room. Wilson insists that he's sound asleep. House wakes up only to discover that he's in a neighbor boy's room. The police take him back to the condo. When House arrives at work, he tells Cuddy what happened and admit that he was drunk. She says she needs him in clinic, but fortunately for him, Chase arrives with a case. House goes to see Ted, who is suffering from aphasia. They've ruled out all the common causes, and House realizes that he's faking. He proves it by poking him with a syringe, but Ted claims that his voice just came back. Nicole wonders why Ted would fake anything, but House insists he is. As they leave, Taub insists that Ted wasn't faking, and House focuses on the fact that Taub refused to engage in an open wedding. Taub invites House to dinner, but House refuses until Taub brings Rachel along.
Outside, Ted tells Nicole that they should finish the wedding. She agrees but Ted stars coughing and collapses. They call House back in and tell him Ted has a plural effusion. They rule out infection and parasites, and House suggests Ted is on a medication he's not telling anyone about. He orders a battery of tests of Ted and his former apartment. Thirteen and Taub break in and start searching. She asks Taub what he told Maya, and figure he's lying when he says he called off the affair. Before she can pursue the matter, Thirteen notices a suspended ceiling with asbestos and figure that's responsible. The owner, Cotter, comes in, and they explain what happened. Cotter informs them that Ted was his boyfriend for three years.
The team confronts Ted, who insists that he's straight. When Cotter got a crush on him, he left. they've turned up mono and House explains that if there's unprotected sex, they'll have to test for HIV. Ted insists he didn't have sex with Cotter, but when House threatens to go to Nicole, Ted admits that he experimented but that's behind him. He invites them to test him as long as they don't tell Nicole.
As the team runs the tests, they argue the merits of Ted hiding his sexual experimentation. Thirteen feels that Ted should be honest and Nicole should know the truth. Taub figures she's talking about him and his lack of honesty. The tests show that Ted doesn't have HIV, and Thirteen suggests that perhaps being straight did make him ill. She goes to ask Ted how he turned his life around, and gets him to admit that he had conversion therapy at a camp for rehabilitation. They injected him with emetics, male hormones, and ECT. House orders an EEG to see if they caused any neural damage.
Taub meets with House for dinner, but claims that Rachel can't make it because she has a pottery class. House has already texted Rachel to invite her, pretending to be Taub, and figures that Taub is cheating. Taub admits that he is, but begs House not to tell his wife. House agrees and leaves, but can't resist trying to suggest she get together with Taub on the night he's having his affair and claiming it's a pottery class.
Nicole comes to see Ted and Thirteen explains that they're testing for neurological damage. She lies and claims Ted had head trauma, but tells Nicole to ask Ted for the details. They go in as Ted has a heart attack.
In differential, the team tries to figure out what would have caused the heart attack. House can't resist mentioning Taub having an affair. He explains that he managed to find a class that is full so that Rachel can't come, and all he has to do now is find some pottery to pass off as his own. As Thirteen goes, she invites House to join her at a lesbian bar. House realizes something is up and goes to see Wilson, who explains that he's setting House up with company since Wilson has been busy with Sam. House accuses him of doing it out of self-interest, and agrees to do it for Wilson. However, he warns that it won't work.
Nicole talks to Ted when he recovers consciousness and asks him about his head trauma. He lies and says he fell off a stepladder. She clearly isn't convinced. Thirteen and Taub arrive to give him valium for a test, but when he tries to get up, he collapses. Ted recovers consciousness, but when he gets up again, he collapses. House figures that it's POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), a blood pressure ailment. House orders treatment, and then reminds Taub what kind of pottery he'll have to make for the class.
Cotter comes to see Ted and talks to Nicole. When she wonders why he wasn't at the wedding, Cotter explains that he and Ted had a falling out and he wasn't invited. Nicole wonders how he knows Ted and Cotter explains that they were roommates for three years. He then starts crying over the unconscious Ted and admits that he misses him. Nicole orders him out and Cotter reluctantly goes.
When Ted wakes up, Nicole tells him about Cotter and demands to know who he is. Ted lies again but Nicole demands the truth from him. He admits that he got drunk one night and ended up having sex with Cotter, but he insists that he's not gay any more and the head trauma was caused by the anti-homosexual treatments. Ted says that it's in the past and doesn't matter any more, and then complains of head pains.
Taub reports the new symptom to House and concludes that it may be a cerebral infection. House wonders if Taub is distracted by his affair and taking proper precautions, and Taub leaves in disgust when House orders him to do a spinal tap to check for infection.
Thirteen takes House to the lesbian bar and they discuss her ability to detect homosexuals. She's disgusted with Ted, who is denying his sexuality, but doesn't think it bears any resemblance to Taub's case. Taub calls to report that the infection is negative, meaning it's not POTS. As House watches Thirteen drink, he gets an idea and suggests that he's losing CSF from the spinal tap they performed. The low pressure in his brain caused the POTS. They can seal the leak and give him artificial CSF to help him. As House hangs up, he watches as a woman sends a drink over to Thirteen.
As Chase and Taub repair the leak, Nicole says that she talked to her parents and Ted tells her to tell them that everything will be okay. He then suffers paralysis but the doctors confirm that it's not a stroke. They meet House in the cafeteria and tell him what happened, and that it eliminates POTS. As they discuss the case, House reveals that he's been bidding against Taub online to get the napkin rings for the pottery class. They figure the best way to get the truth is to get Cotter in and talk to all of them at the same time. As they go, Chase tells House that he and Foreman are taking House out tonight, and it's too late to back out because Wilson has already paid them.
Thirteen and Taub question Nicole, Ted, and Cotter about Ted's medical history. Cotter notes that one time, Ted passed out after a single drink. Nicole admits there have been some issues with erectile dysfunction, and Cotter notes that he never had that problem. Taub suggests that it's vascular, which could account for all the symptoms. Thirteen and Taub use a test to measure circulatory problems in the penis, and ask what kind of sexual simulation he needs. He'd rather take a shot for stimulation then choose.
Chase and Foreman take House to a karaoke bar and they perform Midnight Train to Georgia. House actually seems to enjoy himself and they offer a toast to Wilson.
The tests prove negative for a vascular condition, but Taub and Thirteen discover that Ted is lactating. Back in differential, Chase suggests that the male hormones the camp gave Ted screwed up his thyroid, while Taub and Thirteen suggest a benign tumor of the pituitary. House, drinking coffee, seems curiously sedate and orders them to MRI the pituitary. Wilson comes to see House and asks if he had fun. House initially denies it, and then admits that he wondered if they could be his friends. He tries to blame the booze, but Wilson doesn't buy it. When House talks about the difference between what you can change and what you were born with, he gets an idea.
House goes to see Ted as Taub confirms the pituitary is normal. He adjusts Ted's neck, relieving the pain, and explains he has a chiari malformation, a narrowing at the base of the skull that blocks CSF flow. The ECT caused his brain to swell, increasing the blockage and putting pressure on the pituitary. The POTS treatments they gave him made him worse. They can use surgery to repair the malformation and cure him, and House points out that it's congenital and Ted was born that way.
After the surgery, Cotter comes to see Ted. Ted tells him that he's not coming back, and Cotter tells him that he's hurting Nicole. Ted insists that he loves Nicole and orders him out. He goes out past Nicole as she arrives. Ted suggests they rebook the marriage on her birthday in three weeks, but Nicole isn't so sure. He insists that nothing has changed and he still loves her, and Nicole says she loves him. However, she thinks Ted still loves Cotter. He insists that he believes everyone has to make their own choices, and he made his. Nicole makes her choice, kisses him, and leaves.
As Nicole leaves, Taub watches her go. House comes over and Taub tells him that he called off the affair. He thanks House for trying to save his marriage and gives him the pottery napkin rings. Cuddy comes to see House in his office and suggests they grab dinner. House figures that Wilson paid her as well, but Cuddy insists that it's just her. He passes, even after Cuddy offers to buy, and she tells him that she just wants to be friends. House tells her that's the last thing he wants them to be. They look at each other for a moment and then Cuddy goes, while House rubs his leg and considers the bottle of Ibuprofen. He then takes out a hidden bottle of alcohol and starts drinking.