House

House: Get a piece of her lung and stick it under a black light. If it glows, the sick children who need her souffle can breathe easier.

House: I'm happy for you. Love so deep you're ready to chuck your medical license to give her powerful, unproven drugs with dangerous side effects. I don't want to make assumptions about your feelings for me, but I do have a birthday coming up.

House: Cut out the masses, she'll be fine. Taub: Can't do surgery until her cycle is over and she stops bleeding. House: Well, let's hope she can hold out 'til then. In the meantime, get her a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a DVD of Beaches.

House: Yes, ladies, I am blaming her period. Granted, it's the worst period ever. Although frankly, not by all that much.

Chef Anthony: Are you going to chop those onions or give them a Thai massage? Dana: Well, I guess a happy ending is out of the question. Chef Anthony: I don't recall adding snide remarks to your list of duties. Dana: Just taking initiative.

Thirteen: Dr. House gets a few perks. Dana: He has his own scanner? Thirteen: No, just very loose interpretations of hospital procedure.

House: Why do you think the elevators would be out to get me? Dr. Cuddy: I don't know. Maybe they wanted to take time off to spend with their little dumbwaiter. But then they had to leave it at home with an elevator sitter because you drove the replacement elevator to quitting because you're incapable of listening to anybody but me. That's just a theory. House: You're wrong. I don't even listen to you.

House: People act in their own self-interest. You're all here because you're happy to be here. Or at least because it's your best option. Kutner: I'm here because I want to help people. House: No, you're here because it makes you feel good to help people. Taub and Foreman are here because they've got no other viable options. And Thirteen is desperate to make her life matter before it's over. Taub: So... you're happy to be here? House: Does it show?

Dr. Wilson: Yeah, that makes sense too. House: "Too"? Dr. Wilson: I was thinking you actually feel guilty about taking her away from her baby, but your explanation's good too. It's completely inconsistent with your character, but... House: Thank you, Rationalization Man. You have saved the village!

Kutner: What's going on with everyone today? Taub: It involves House, Foreman, and Thirteen, which mean it's either dumb, dangerous, or tragic, or a combination. I'm embracing my ignorance.

Dr. Cuddy: Or this whole thing is just an act. And you've gone back to the part you think you need to play. House: You should go talk to Wilson. Rationalization Man needs a faithful sidekick. Now Rational Man needs to go save a life.