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House: (to the lawyer after flames come out of the patient's stomach) That always happens during surgery. It's just the gas buildup in the blockage. Nothing to sue about. Treat him for the burns. Put him on antibiotics for the Whipple's. He'll be fine.
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Dr. Chase: All right forget about the patient. What is going on with you? This is why we left House's team, to avoid the constant flood of pure craziness.
Dr. Cameron: That's why I left. You got fired.
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House: Why are you siding with him? Oh yeah, you're that girl who likes broken people. Because her husband died and since Chase isn't all that broken...
Dr. Cameron: Hey, why don't we operate on his infarcted leg while we're at it. Who cares if he said "No."
House: I was risking my life to avoid becoming a cripple. He's doing it to avoid sunlight and fresh air.
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Nozick: (to House) You obviously can't stand people. But for me it's worse, all right. I'd rather die in here than live out there.
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House: So it's a bleed, clot, tumor, metabolic or infection. Stick him in a CT.
Dr. Cameron: Can't.
House: I'm assuming he has a giant head.
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House: Anybody can hate humanity after getting shot. Takes a big man to hate it beforehand.
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Dr. Cuddy: I know this is awkward, but we need to talk.
House: There's a reason that we've evolved a feeling of awkwardness. It tells us not to talk about things.
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Dr. Cuddy: Thank you.
House: Any time you want to stop kissing, I'm there for you.
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Dr. Cameron: What did Cuddy want?
House: I kinda hit that last night, so now she's all on my jock.
Thirteen: Wow, she looks pretty good for someone on roofies.
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Dr. Wilson: You hit? Like making out or full-on sex, or…
House: Got a chart laid out with all the bases. I'll take you through it.
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House: Hey, speaking of breathing hard, Cameron, you engaged to Chase yet?
Thirteen: Sorry, we should have clarified. We're calling about the patient, not Dr. Cameron's love life.
Dr. Cameron: We're aren't engaged. Moves things along much faster if you just give him the answers.
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House: Interesting.
Dr. Cameron: You would have said interesting no matter what the answer.
House: And no matter what the answer, it would've been interesting.
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Dr. Wilson: Everything else good?
Dr. Cuddy: Uh, everything involving me kissing House is good. Oh God, you dragged it out of me. You're a genius. It's no big deal. I was feeling vulnerable. He's a friend. And I leaned on him.
Dr. Wilson: It's funny. I've leaned on friends in the past. Never leaned so far my tongue fell into their mouths.
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Dr. Cuddy: The benefit of being boss is that I don't have to argue.
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Dr. Wilson: It's like the red badge of idiocy.
House: If the Confederacy had mosquitoes, we'd all have Southern accents and I'd be paying Foreman less.
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House: (on the telephone) Foreman, listen to that little voice in your head that's coming from the telephone. Force-feed him!
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(House answers his cell phone as Wilson talks)
House: Sorry, I get better reception when you're not here.
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Dr. Wilson: You're not staying here.
House: Oh, come on.
Dr. Wilson: Nope. You can go home. Or, you're going to Cuddy's, you're gonna ring her doorbell and you're gonna ask her out on a date like regular people do.
House: At three in the morning? When do regular people sleep?
Dr. Wilson: Buh-bye.
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House: I am not imagining things.
Dr. Wilson: House, you're a drug addict. You're always imagining things.