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Dr. Cuddy: Forget it. We can't give a liver to a woman this sick.
House: Do you listen to what you're saying?
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Dr. Cuddy: Start praying for a 12-car pile-up on the turnpike 'cause we're not exactly swimming in livers over here.
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House: Livers are important, Cuddy. You can't live without them, hence the name.
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Dr. Cuddy: Dr. House, meet your new boss.
(everyone looks at Foreman)
Dr. Wilson: Guess I'm his best friend now.
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Dr. Wilson: (to House) Your disdain for human interaction doesn't exculpate you - it inculpates you!
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House: I've moved past threesomes, I am now into foursomes. If someone backs out then you still got a threesome, and if two people back out you're still having sex. You'd be amazed even if three people…
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Stacy: Where's Chase?
House: He's too busy to service you until after work. I've got a couple of minutes, though. Feel free to say something like "What'll we do with the time left over?"
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House: (opening his pills) Childproof? How many kids are hopped up on Vicodin?
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House: Chase loves me…and isn't Turkish.
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House: Oh, for the record, you're the worst transplant surgeon in the hospital…but you're the only one who's cheating on his wife.
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Sam: Are you Dr. House?
House: Depends. Are you going to hit (points at Foreman) Dr. House?
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Stacy: You have been hiding things and lying to me all day.
House: I didn't lie to you about anything…except the things I admitted to you I was lying about.
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Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him?
House: He has great hair.
Stacy: What are you hiding?
House: I'm gay. Oh…that's not what you meant. It does explain a lot though. No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers…