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Robin: (about the kiss) It was weird.
Lily: I told you! When exes get involved, people always get hurt. But no one listens to me. Story of my life. My cuteness interferes with people hearing my message.
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Lily: Hey, are you okay?
Barney: Of course, why do you ask?
Lily: Well for one, you're openly weeping.
Barney: With joy. (tearily) So happy for those two.
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Robin: By the way, our little arrangement is off.
Barney: Oh, that's awes… ful.
Robin: What?
Barney: That's awesful.
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Robin: Last night, we did it while returning a bunch of phone calls.
Marshall: I knew you didn't get a rowing machine!
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Ted: That [cereal] looks good. I'll have some of that.
Robin: Sorry, no milk.
Ted: But I just saw a carton of milk in the fridge yesterday.
Robin: It's empty.
Ted: Then throw it away.
Robin: Can't. Trashcan's full.
Ted: So empty the trash.
Robin: I would, but I'm eating cereal.
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Barney: So I explain to her, I said, "Madeline, every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension."
Ted: Every international conflict?
Barney: Every single one, dude.
Ted: So the crisis in the Middle East could be solved by...
Barney: Gaza Strippers! Next!
Ted: Apartheid.
Barney: Apart-thighs! What else you got?
Ted: Cold War.
Barney: (aping Ronald Reagan) Mrs. Gorbachev, take down those pants!
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Ted: So, last night Robin left the pizza box out on the floor, so we had sex three times.
Marshall: Sure.
Ted: And then this morning, before I left for work, we kissed.
Marshall: Oh, that's weird. That is weird!
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Barney: Ted, I have to tell you the truth. I'm in love with... tacos.