How I Met Your Mother

Ted: Robin! Hey!! Robin!!! Oh, thank God you're here! Robin: My camping trip got rained out! Ted: I know, I'm sorry. Robin: It's not your fault. Ted: Yes, it is. Come down here. Robin: But it's pouring! You come up! Ted: No, you have to come down here! Robin: Why? Ted: Why? Because I MADE IT RAIN!!! That's what I did today!!! And that's enough! I..I've done my part, now GET DOWN HERE!!! Robin: I'm not dressed, Ted! Come up! Ted: I'm not coming up there, Robin. I'm not. You HAVE to come down here! (Robin looks at the blue French horn Ted gave her. She grabs an umbrella and heads for the door. She opens the door to find Ted there) Robin: I was gonna... Ted: I know. (Ted and Robin kiss)

Ted: You're seriously considering going on this thing, are you? Robin: Ted, it's a company camping trip. I have to go. Ted: Really, cause it sounds like you're going for Sandy—and his weenie.

Sandy: I got offered a job at CNN. Robin: That's great! I'm happy for you. Sandy: And for yourself, too. Joel asked me who should replace me as lead anchor, I told him you. They're making the announcement next week, act surprised. Robin: Thank you, Sandy! And yes. I'll have dinner with you. Sandy: How 'bout this weekend on the camping trip? I roast a mean weenie!

Ted: That girl, Penelope, she was majoring in Native American Culture. Are you still in touch with her? Barney: Yeah, of course. Even though we slept together, we still get together occasionally to talk about our lives—of course I'm not in touch with her!

(Ted trying to make it rain) Ted: Come on! Come On! COME ON! (it starts to rain) Barney: Oh, Come ON!

Penelope: Okay, crouch down and bend over a little bit. Barney: Wow, it took five shots of tequila to get you in that position. Penelope: I will throw you off this roof. Barney: So much of your mom in you...

Lily: So what's this big, beautiful, romantic gesture? Ted: I am going to make her...a mix CD. (Pause) No, I'm kidding. I got a plan.

Ted: Have you ever seen a rain dance? Penelope: (weakly) I've seen a filmstrip. Ted: Terrific...Uh, look I should run. I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple of episodes of ER.

Ted: Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend. Penelope: Why? Ted: There's this girl... Penelope: (laughs) There's this girl? You know, the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature. I don't think the Great Spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid.

Barney: Ted, do you want me to slap you again? 'Cause I kinda enjoyed it the first time.

Ted: I'm crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say? Robin: Yes. No. Maybe. Ted: Those are the three options.

(Barney slaps Ted across the face) Ted: Ow! What the hell? Barney: That wasn't me, that was the universe.

Barney: You are forcing me to be the voice of reason. And that's not a good look for me!

Penelope: Why the hell should I help you? Barney: Come on, I know it didn't work out between us, but we did have a relationship. Penelope: (thinks) We had sex twice in your car and then you dumped me. H-How is that a relationship? Barney: (thinks) Twice.

Penelope: This wrong guy, is he a huge jackass? Ted: Absolutely. Penelope: Kind of like Barney? Ted: Kind of. Barney: Hey! Penelope: You hit on my mom! Barney: We weren't exclusive!