How I Met Your Mother

Older Ted – "Kids, everyone makes mistakes. Take this girl Meg for instance, she made a mistake, a mistake named Barney." Meg and Barney are at the bar and she talks about how her last boyfriend had commitment problems, so Barney tells her that he is not afraid of commitment. Barney tells Ted about the girl and describes everything about her, especially her top half. Older Ted – "When you get married, you start out-growing certain parts of your life and for Lily and Marshall, those certain parts were, for the most part, me." Lily walks in on Ted shaving his downstairs region. Marshall and Lily get upset at Ted and their friends constantly being there and Marshall finally cracks and says that they are moving out. Older Ted – "But still it was time to move forward, so they set out to find a new apartment to rent." At the bar, Marshall looks online and finds an older place, but it is for sale, not for rent. Older Ted – "Kids, your Uncle Marshall likes to say that he made three big mistakes in his life, this one was the first…" Marshall tries to fly off of the roof. "…this was the second…" Marshall shaving his head before his wedding. "…and this was the third and biggest." Marshall decides that they should buy the apartment. Marshall tells Lily that the real estate is always a good investment, the real estate market is really hot, and that they were doing really well financially because of his new job, but Older Ted chimes in that these were untrue statements. Lily meets with a group at the shop-a-holic's meeting and tells them that she is a shop-a-holic. Marshall thinks that they are only in debt because of his law school, but Marshall tells them that they should at least go and see the place. They arrive at the apartment and the real estate agent tells them that Dowisetrepla is an up and coming neighborhood, but Marshall tells her that the place is out of his price range, but Older Ted says "Is what Marshall should have said.", but Marshall actually tells her that he wants it.
Ted comes over to the apartment to see it and Marshall envisions playing in a band with his kids in the living room. Robin brings Lily to the side and tells her that they can't afford the place because of Lily's debt, but Lily doesn't know how to dissuade him. Robin thinks that they should tell him that it is haunted, but Lily tells her that he would want it even more. Barney asks the real estate agent about the apartment and eventually the real estate agent tells him the lock box combination. Barney tells Ted that he is going to use the apartment to bring Meg back to so he won't have to see her anymore. The realtor tells Marshall and Lily that there is another couple interested in the apartment, but Marshall tells the realtor that he knows that trick, but Older Ted says "Is what Marshall should have said.", but Marshall actually tells her that they really want it and will give them more money. Lily brings Marshall to the side and tells him that it is probably not a good time to think about buying something. Lily imagines her kids being two girls, painting in the living room, while speaking French. Lily finally tells Marshall that they can't buy the apartment because of her debt, but Older Ted says "Is what she should have said.", but Lily actually agrees to get the place and asks to charge it. They all toast to Marshall and Lily buying an apartment. Marshall asks the waitress to bring the huge bottle of champagne to the table. When the guys walk over to get the bottle, Lily tells Robin that they will only get the apartment with Marshall's credit and Marshall won't have to find out about the debt. When they bring the bottle back to the table, Ted is about to open the bottle and Marshall tells him to be careful with the cork, but Older Ted says "Is what Marshall should have said.", but Marshall actually says nothing and it hits her in the eye. Older Ted – "Now, when you are thinking of buying an apartment, it is always good to check it out at night." Barney brings Meg over to the apartment and she is impressed with it. Barney tells Meg that the place needs a lady, which makes Meg start to kiss him. Older Ted – "The next day, Marshall and Lily went to the mortgage broker to get a loan." Marshall asks the loan officer if he can get the money for the apartment in singles so that he can lay in them. The loan officer asks Lily for her social security number, but Lily gets defensive and asks why. Lily doesn't want to use her credit, but eventually tells him. The loan officer tells them that their interest rate will be 18% and that they are lucky to even get a loan. Marshall thinks that it is because of his student loan debt, but the loan officer tells him that it is because of Lily's credit card debt. Marshall is stunned.
Ted tells Robin about having Meg over at the apartment and how he tells her that he loves her. Barney tells her to get in the shower while he makes her waffles, but when she leaves, he walks out. Ted tells them that there was a fight in the apartment and he knows because they left signs in the apartment. He sees a water bottle with the label peeled off. He then says that when Marshall gets angry, he eats and then finds an empty pint of ice cream on the floor of the kitchen. Then, he finds Lily's used tissue and then sees Lily's bra in the couch when she tried to kiss him. When Marshall runs off, he goes out the door and knocks a picture off center. Ted thinks that they were fighting about peanut butter, but Robin explains that they didn't get the loan because of Lily's debt. Ted doesn't believe the plan, but then checks the phone for the last number called and finds out that it was a divorce lawyer. They talk about who will get what friend when Marshall and Lily divorce over ice cream. Marshall and Lily show up to the apartment and tell them that Marshall went to the bar and drank some of the champagne out of the big bottle. Lily finds him and tells him that she talked to a divorce lawyer so that they won't have to use her credit to get the apartment. Lily thinks that this is the only way to get the apartment and proposes a divorce. Marshall refuses and tells her that he married her problems also. The waitress shows up with a black eye. Marshall and Lily tell the guys that they are not getting divorced and Barney is the happiest. Marshall tells them that he called the realtor and told her that they weren't going to take it, but Older Ted says "Is what Marshall should have said.", but Marshall actually told her that they are taking it, with the 18% interest rate and all. Everyone thinks that they are crazy, but Older Ted says "Is what we should have said.", but they actually congratulate them on getting their own place.
Marshall and Lily are driving to their apartment and are so excited until they step out of the cab and smell a terrible smell. The cab driver explains that the neighborhood is downwind from a sewage treatment plant. When the cab driver repeats what he said "downwind of the sewage treatment plant", they put the beginnings of the words together and come up with dowsietrepla and they are terrified.