How I Met Your Mother

Victoria: Those big romantic moments... they're great when they happen, but they're not real. Ted: Exactly. Exactly! Like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there--I'm not gonna lie to you--big time thunderbolt. Victoria: Hmmm, you should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee. Ted: Sadly, not out of character.

Marshall: Maybe she was a ghost. That's why she didn't want to kiss you because you'd pass right through her and get really cold for a second. Oh my God, I just had a great idea for a screenplay. Ted: Marshall, she was not a ghost. Marshall: I know she wasn't a ghost. She picked up a bouquet proving she had corporeal form.

Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake. Ted: That cake really got to you? Marshall: It haunts me.

Ted: Great I'm gonna need you to call her for me. Barney: You know I won't. Ted: Why not? Barney: Because we just hooked up last night. I can't call the girl the next day, I have to wait at least like...forever, Oh Snap! Nevergonnacallher.

Lily: (on the wedding bouquet) It's such an evil tradition. Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding? Lily: Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, "Crawl for it, bitches!" It's just what girls do.

Barney: (with bridesmaid on his arm, approaching Ted who has just agreed not to exchange names with Victoria) Ted, Ted! Look, Ted. Ted, look Ted. I got a bridesmaid! Ted, Ted, second hottest bridesmaid! Ted, Look. See you, Ted! Ted: (to Victoria) I'm Ted

Barney: Oh my gosh, I love this moment. You know why? Because I'm going to say it and this time you're actually going to say 'yes'. You're ready? Ready to say 'yes'? Ted. Suit up! Ted: Yes! (about to leave but then steps back) No.

Lily: Geez Louise! Happiness is not that difficult!

Barney: Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no wait. That was last night. (makes a whipping sound)

Barney(flips open his cell): This better be good. I'm about to enter Nirvana. By the way I should get you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage. Say whaaaat?

Claudia: What was her name? Was it my fat cousin, Lindsay? Don't be embarrassed, she has pretty eyes.

Marshall: A drum roll?! That's it? So what you just said good night, came home and performed a drum solo?

Ted: I had the most amazing night ever. Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like 'Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down.' Lily: Yea I know, my stomach was like 'Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..'