How I Met Your Mother

Ted: Did anybody put baby in the corner? Barney: Oh, God, no.

Katie: Kyle is a really nice guy. He could have cheated on me with my lab partner Gretchen Gwynn, but he didn't, because he said he'd knew I'd find out. Ted: That's very gallant.

Marshall: Speaking of waiting, I signed an abstinence pledge in high school. It's totally cool to wait. And stay away from drugs, other than pot. (Winks)

Barney: Watch your step when you get up kids, because I'm about to drop some knowledge.

Robin: Wanna watch The Little Mermaid and drink some Yoo-hoo? Katie: Only if you put a bucketload of Kahlua in it. Robin: Don't tell Ma.

Ted:(About saying "I love you" to Robin on their first date) Oh, come on! It shows I'm brave and bold like a knight! Robin: No, it shows that you're an "I love you" slut. Ted: Well, then you're an "I love you" prude.

Robin: Usually, by now I find out the guy has some weird personality thing that makes me want to take the next exit. Lily: Yeah, I've been there. I once dated a guy who could only go to the bathroom when classical music was playing...Okay, it was Marshall.

Ted and Robin are hugging at the apartment Robin: I love you. I said it, it feels right, I love you. Ted: I'm gay. Robin: Oh God.. Ted: I'm kidding!

Ted: Come on, you were only 16 when you had sex, I was 17.. Marshall: You were 18. Ted: ..Barney was probably 12. Barney: Good one Ted. I was six..ff..four..how old were you again? Ted: 17 Barney: Dude, me too!

Talking about virginity, again. Robin's Sister: You were only 16 when you lost yours. Robin: How do you know that? Robin's Sister: Because you left your diary in your old room slash my new room. Barney: I'll pay you $10 000 for that diary!

(About losing your virginity) Robin: Everyone thinks you should wait. Right guys? Lily, Marshall and Ted: You should wait. Barney: Sex is fun!

Ted: You guys are lucky you came here with an architect. Empire state building fun fact number one: When construction began, on March 17th 1930, the framework rose at a rate of four and a half stories per week. Everyone gives Ted a uninterested look.. Ted: Four and a half stories per week... Everyone gives Ted the same uninterested look, though Marshall and Lily tries to add a nod to it. Ted: Four and a half stories per week! Chorus: Woow.. Ted: There it is!

Robin: I'm her older sister. I'm suppose to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions. Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three scotch and sodas.

(Robin's sister is planning to lose her virginity, tonight.) Robin: This can't happen, you guys have to help me talk her out of it! Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of having sex.. Ted: Yea, I don't have any of those. Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.

Robin and Lily has just spotted Robin's sister at the airport Robin: This reminds me of when I used to see her coming up the drive-way from school, with her little pigtails and her Hello Kitty-backpack. Robin's sister starts making out with a guy. Lily: Oh! Hello kitty..

Barney: Freeways have exits, so do relationships. The first exit, my personal favorite is 6 hours in, you meet, you talk, you have sex and you exit when she's in the shower. Robin: So every girl you have sex with feels the immediate need to shower? Actually yea, I get that..

Ted is telling his kids about the different stages leading to the actual part where you say "I love you" Old Ted: And then there's the moment when you know you know it and you can't keep it in any longer. Robin: Ted! Ted: Yea? Robin: Falafel!

Barney: Oh, why Lily Aldrin you saucy little Harlot. Could it be that before Marshall took a swim, somebody else tested the water? Marshall: Noooo. Nobody else tested the water, right? (Lily starts adjusting her hair)

Katie: Robin, this is happening. I already put it up on my Myspace page. I need a clove. Robin: What? You smoke now, too?

Robin: (to Kyle) This is my friend Lily. Kyle: Hot! Robin: You say things!

Lily: Falafel? Robin: Falafel. Lily: Instead of telling Ted you love him, you said falafel? Robin: I totally choked. Lily: I just don't get. Why can't you tell Ted you love him? Robin: Well come on, this is a big deal for me. Lily: Awww, God, you'd think you'd never said it to a guy before. Robin looks away