How I Met Your Mother

Season 3 Episode 5

How I Met Everyone Else

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Oct 22, 2007 on CBS

Episode Recap

Older Ted – "Back in the fall of 2007, I was dating this girl named, oh God, what was her name? It's been twenty-three years, I can't remember all of this stuff. For the sake of the story, let's call her…" Ted introduces her as Blah-Blah and she wants to be called Blah. Blah explains that they met at a cooking class and that it was magical. Older Ted – "But it wasn't." Ted tells the guys before they meet Blah, he tells them that they met online. Ted tells Barney that she is hot, but not crazy, which causes Barney to explain the hot/crazy scale and that there is a proportional ratio of hot to crazy. Barney refers to it as the Vickie Mendoza line for a girl his dated in high school.

Barney doesn't know if he wants to play along with the story and then they flash forward to when Blah is telling them that she met Ted in a cooking class. Ted decides to get the heat off of how they met and asks Marshall and Lily to describe how they met. Older Ted – "When you've been a couple as long as Marshall and Lily, telling the 'how we met' story becomes a choreographed dance." Lily begins telling the story and they met in their freshman year of college at the beginning of the year. They both say that it was love at first sight. Older Ted – "Now, they've perfected that story over hundreds of tellings. The first time Marshall told me, it was a little different." Marshall and Ted are playing video games and Marshall tells Ted that he met this goth-chick and it wasn't as romantic as they tell it now. Blah tells them that when her and Ted first met, she tells them that she just knew that Ted would give her a rose on the roof and he did. When Blah gets up to buy drinks, they talk about her and Ted tells them that she is not crazy, just nervous.

Blah asks how Robin and Barney met, but Robin says "no" sixteen times, which upsets Barney that she had to say it that many times. Ted then directs Blah's attention to how he and Marshall met. Older Ted – "Kids, in order to understand this story, you need to know that your Uncle Marshall was doing something that lots of college kids do, how do I say this, he was, uh, let's say eating a sandwich." He was trying to hide the "sandwich" and Ted walks into the room, but he thinks that he is the dean because a guy ran down the hall and told Marshall that the dean was coming. Ted introduces himself and Marshall still thinks that Ted is the dean until Ted puts down his stuff on the top bunk and tells Marshall that he is his new roommate. Marshall gets upset because he thinks that he is the dean. Marshall later finds out that Ted is not the dean when he finds Ted eating a sandwich. Blah tells them that she has started her own line of handbags and Barney tells her that it is crazy and asks Robin if she has ever sold anything in Japan. Blah keeps on talking about Robin and Ted having something going on between them, so Ted interrupts her and makes Barney tell the story of how they met. Barney and Ted are in the bathroom when Ted starts talking to him about his mom being dead and his brother being deaf. Barney is surprised that Ted bought the story and that he is going to use that story on a girl at the bar. Later on that night, Barney decides to tell Ted how to be a cool guy and uses Ted to be his deaf brother. They begin to sign back and forth and the girl leaves her number to Barney, but Ted tells him that he actually told the girl to give Barney a fake number. The girl freaks out when Barney tells Ted that at least he didn't meet her in a lame way like online. Ted tells her that it is ok and meeting people across the room is not the way people meet anymore. Barney interrupts and tells him that it is the way that Ted and Robin met and the girl asks Ted questions about his and Robin's relationship. Robin tells Blah that it was her problem, but Blah gets upset and Barney recaps the night on the Vickie Mendoza graph. Blah thinks that Robin is talking about her and Ted is just using her to make Robin jealous. Blah tells Ted a secret and then there is a flashback to when Ted and Lily met during the first year at college. Marshall is drinking beer while standing upside down on top of a keg and Ted makes fun of him. Ted hits on Lily and tells her that he has a girlfriend, but it is a long-distance relationship. Lily kisses Ted and only went to their room, 110, because that is what she remembered from their discussion of how Ted's IQ is 110.

Blah brings up how Lily and Ted met and wants Lily to give them the real story. Lily's story is where she met him in the dorm room. Ted brings Lily to the side and tells Ted that Blah knows the real story, but Lily doesn't know what he is talking about. When Blah fills in the story, Lily thinks that it was a random guy that she made out with. Lily refuses to believe that it was Ted that she made out with. Barney reminds Robin how they met him and it is when Barney is trying to set up Marshall with another girl. Marshall asks who Barney is and Ted reminds him that they met in the bathroom and he is annoying. Barney tells them that he is yoda and they should do whatever he tells them. Barney spots a girl, but it turns out to be Lily, so Marshall plays it off. Barney gives him pointers on how to land her even though she is much hotter than he is. Marshall and Lily begin kissing and Barney is impressed. After that, Marshall tells them that Barney was walking around and asking Marshall how to pick up girls. When Ted, Blah, and Lily get back to the table, Blah tells Marshall that Lily and Ted made out. Lily apologizes to Marshall and tells them what he remembers about the party and suggests that they kissed different people, with her kissing "too much tongue" guy who wasn't Ted. Marshall and Lily kiss, happy that they know that it wasn't Ted that she kissed. Ted tells Blah that it must have been another girl and Blah gets upset because it seems that Ted has made out with every girl. She picks up her handbag and tells them that she is a superstar and she is writing a memoir. She then lets it out that they met while playing World of Warcraft online. Barney is shocked that he was playing this game and then it flashes back to when they met while playing the game. Older Ted – "So suffice it to say, Blah Blah did not turn out to be your mother. As for the girl I made out with at the party, there wasn't a doubt in my mind, it was your Aunt Lily. But you know that magical story about how she and your Uncle Marshall met, it was worth preserving, so I kept my mouth shut. Until our 20th college reunion, when I ran into Alexa Leskeys." Ted and Alexa talk at the reunion and Alexa reminds him of the party and when they kissed. Ted rushes over to tells her the good news and Alexa tells him that he was "too much tongue guy". Marshall, Lily, and Ted "eat a sandwich" and realize that they can't eat as much as they could before.