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Voice of Ted, 2030
Doug, who is a student in Lily's class, was the same kid who blackmailed Marshall in "Monday Night Football". However, because he was in kindergarten last season, he should be in the 1st grade in this episode and, therefore, not in Lily's class again.
Marshall: I am not irrelevant!
Marshall: I crunched the numbers. If Lily and I have sex twice a week—which let's face it, all know is being conservative—and we've been together ten years, plus seventeen more times on the honeymoon, minus a two-week break when I said the check-out girl at the supermarket reminded me of a young Lily, then we've had sex 1,053 and a half times! (Barney and Ted look confused) My mom called once. That's more times than Barney's ever had sex and to your point Ted, Lily is a quality girl. I win! Lawyered.
Barney: Doesn't count.
Marshall: It has to!
Ted: It does. It counts as one time. You've had sex once. How was it?
Marshall: I still matter!
Robin: Kids aren't my favorite thing ever, but I like them. Ted: But you don't want to have them. Robin: I like sports cars, but that doesn't mean I want to push a Ferrari through my vagina. Barney: Shotgun!
Robin: Hey, what's my 'but'? You know, I'm really nice, but...
Ted: (thinking) But she's afraid of commitment.
Lily: (thinking) But she's a gun nut.
Barney: (thinking) But she's Canadian.
Marshall: (thinking) But she didn't like Field Of Dreams.
Barney: I can't think of anything.
Ted: You don't have a but!
Ted: When someone wants to set you up, they tell you all their good qualities first, but they leave out their huge flaw.
Barney: She's totally hot and really fun. (thinking) But she has a dead tooth.
Marshall: She's super hot, and she's so successful. (thinking) But she has a pug she pushes around in a stroller.
Lily: She's so cute and she's so smart. (Thinking) But her last boyfriend had to get a restraining order against her, and then his cat and new vacuum cleaner both went missing.
Ted: Wow. Set it up!
Ted: I'm still convinced she killed my turtle.
Barney: Which one of us has more game?
Marshall: Neither one of you has any game, right? Or else you'd be married. Like me.
Marshall: If dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game.
Ted: If you're playing in the women's league.
Marshall: Wow. You're here, and not in stall 2.
Ted: Yeah, so?
Marshall: I might have made some wildly inappropriate homo-erotic comments to a man wearing your shoes.
Ted: I got so much game, I'm a Cornish game hen.
Barney: Oh, yeah? I got so much game, I'm the New York state gaming commissioner.
Ted: Well, I'm The Game: well-crafted, keep-you-guessing thriller starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn.
Young Katie: Robin, will you watch cartoons with me?
Young Robin: I go to school all week. Can't I have just five minutes to myself to read Highlights and drink my juice?
Lily: Dumped by a six-year-old.
Robin: Whatever, he's a stupid-head.
Robin: (the guy she's dating has a kid) Why is this kid around anyway? Shouldn't he be with his mother? I mean, what kind of lawyer does this guy have if he has to take care of the kid all the time?
Lily: A good one. He won full custody.
Robin: "He won?" (confused) He won? Oh, God, getting the kid is "winning", isn't it? Don't tell anyone I said that.
Barney: You can't spell "game" without "me", and me has the best game.
Marshall: We've had sex 1,053½ times... my mom called once.
Lily: Well, there's nothing wrong with this guy. He's really nice and he's really cute.
Lily: Fine. But he has a kid.
Ted: Aha there it is. Robin is not going out with a guy with a kid.
Lily: But the guy is really great and his kid's sweet. He's in my class.
Ted: It doesn't matter. Robin hates kids.
Robin: I don't hate kids.
Ted: You told me even when you were a kid you hated kids.
International Airdates: Czech Republic: September 22, 2010 on Prima COOL
The German episode title is "Kleine Jungs", and the Italian title is "Bambini", both exact translations. The French title is "Le combat de coqs", meaning "Cock Fight".
Music: "Commit" by The Blakes; In the Hall of the Mountain King by Edvard Grieg; "Jump Up!" by Reggae Revolution
When Robin calls Lily while she's watching Doug, she slowly says (about Doug), "It's right here, Lily. It's looking at me." That line is said by Dr. Peter Venkman about Slimer in the first Ghostbusters movie (except he was talking to Ray).
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