How I Met Your Mother

Season 1 Episode 7


Aired Monday 8:00 PM Nov 07, 2005 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
528 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

When a matchmaker with a 100% success rate turns Ted away because he is not compatible with any of the available women in her database, he is still determined that he is going to find his match. After getting information from the matchmaker’s computer, Ted pays a visit to a very cute, but taken, dermatologist in an effort to prove the prediction wrong that there are no women out there for him. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are obsessed with ridding their apartment of a critter.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Ted goes to Matchmaker with 100%* results

    This was another funny episode that becomes more important as you watch the series. I think there is a clue (in a future episode) to to Ted future wife (who is NOT Robin).. It was funny how Barney goes with Ted and how the matchmaker see straight through him. You also see Ted can push things (to "Ted "them) when it comes to love. While the women was nice it just wasn't meant to be. The only part I didn't like was the match maker tried to put relationships to an exact science. It's something that I just don't agree with.

    The second story with the Cock a mouse was funny too. It's something you appreciate it more when you see Season 6. I like that you never get to see the creature.

    This was a very good episode and spoiler alert comes into play later in the season.moreless
  • A 100% effective dating site tries to pair Ted up with his soul mate.

    When you're trying to find "the one", dating sites are almost always involved, and How I Met Your Mother visits this storyline. (It's a show about a guy trying to find his soul mate, it was bound to happen eventually) Barney drags Ted to Love Connection, which is self-proclaimed 100% effecient in finding the perfect match for each of its users. Ted is hesitant at first but is drawn in by the convincing lady who runs the business. However, she goes mad when she can't find anyone for Ted. Then Ted goes crazy by trying to split up a woman who matched with him by 96% from her fiance. That was definitely crazy, but the doctor/Ted's 9.6 match was pretty attractive. Eventually, Ted's perfect match is found in a later episode. The B plot is nothing really, just something to fill the time as Marshall and Lily don't know what kind of creature has invaded their apartment. Robin is doubtful at first until she sees it for herself. This plot was rather boring and had nothing to do with anything, and the entire matchmaking deal isn't my fave either, so this wasn't one of the season's best.moreless
  • Barney and Ted go to a matchmaking service. Lily and Marshall identify a new species.

    "Matchmaker" is a great How I Met Your Mother episode. In this episode Ted and Barney go to a matchmaking service. I love how Ted has no matches and the person that's closest to his match is already in a relationship. I love the phrase everyone made up, "Ted Out". I love the Lily and Marshall subplot of the cockamouse. I love how Robin doesn't believe them until she sees it herself. It was creepy how it could fly. I give this episode a 9/10.moreless
  • Love is not something that numbers and a computer can comprehend, but you can say the same about reality and the cockamouse.

    The past couple of episodes have started a bit slow onl to finish off strong. This one is much different; it starts off strong and remains good throughout the entire watch--although compared to the past episodes the second half isn't as quite good. You have to appreciate the consistency in the quality. Starts off really well with the whole cockroach versus mouse debate between Lily and Marshall, and it eventually manifests itself from there. Really clever and funny stuff there. And then there's Ted's matchmaking story, which was executed extremely well and just really hilarious. In a subtle way it also added some sentimental value towards the subject of "finding love" with the whole matchmaking system thing. Great overall episode!moreless
  • Very funny!

    I thought this episode had some of the best laugh-out-loud moments so far in the series.

    Ted signs up with "Love Solutions", a matchmaking service, and is promptly told that there is no possible match for him. There is only one suitable woman, and she has already been matched. Cue Ted tracking down and making a move on the (already engaged) woman.

    It's true that some of the plot points in the episode (her being married or engaged, her calling him back to talk about his mole) were a bit predictable, but the manager of "Love Solutions", was reason enough to tune in alone. Excellent character with some brilliant lines. It's a shame that next time we see "Love Solutions" she has been replaced.

    Good episode!moreless
Camryn Manheim

Camryn Manheim

Ellen Pierce

Guest Star

Nick Jaine

Nick Jaine


Guest Star

Beth Lacke

Beth Lacke

Dr. Sarah O'Brien

Guest Star

Bob Saget

Bob Saget

Voice of Ted, 2030

Recurring Role

David Henrie

David Henrie


Recurring Role

Lyndsy Fonseca

Lyndsy Fonseca


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (28)

    • Ellen: All finished, gentlemen? Congratulations, you have just taken your very first step.
      Barney: Gosh, thanks, Ellen. I sure hope this works. I'm so done with the single life, all the games, the meaningless sex.
      Ellen: You deserve more.
      Barney: That is so true, Ellen. I really think I'm ready to stop being a 'me' and start being a 'we'. Hey, is there anyway I can let it be known that I love cuddling?
      Ellen: Oh, of course you can. That is so...
      Barney: It's kinda hard to talk about with Ted here, but I just want someone who's not afraid to hold me at night when the tears come. Ellen, can you help me find her?
      Ellen: Get out.

    • Lily: OK, it's back and this time we got a good look. (sits by Barney and takes his drink)
      Barney: Hey, seriously, you have to stop doing that.
      Marshall: It's bigger now. It's been feeding.

    • Ellen: How do I say this? This is gonna be really hard. Ted, there are absolutely no women out there for you. Phew, actually I got through that OK.

    • Ellen: How do you think I feel? I have a 100% success rate. It's my hook. I could probably find somebody for you if you were gay.
      Ted: Well, I'm not.
      Ellen: A little bi maybe?

    • Lily: He's a whole new species. The cockamouse.
      Marshall: And it's the size of a potato.
      Robin: So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse?
      Marshall: Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse.

    • Ted: My God, this is incredible. We're like the same person. Sarah O'Brien loves brunch. She wants to have two children. Her guilty pleasure song is "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Croft.
      Barney: Wow, Ted, sounds like you're her perfect woman.

    • Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamousse, there are still so much we don't know.
      Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking.

    • Ted: OK, this is getting weird, the similarities go on and on. She hates phonies. I totally hate phonies too. She's a dermatologist. I have skin.
      Barney: You wanna be her boyfriend. She already has a boyfriend. It's uncanny.

    • Sarah: Hi, I'm Dr. O'Brien.
      Ted: I'm Architect Mosby. Sorry, I just wanted to say my job, too.

    • Ted: Hey, this may sound weird but it'll definitely sound more weird once my shirt's off so I'm gonna ask you now. Do you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?
      Sarah: Oh, that's very sweet, but I'm actually getting married on Saturday.
      Ted: Friday night?

    • Marshall: Yeah, look around. The universe is mysterious and awesome. You got the Bermuda triangle, ghosts, Big Foot.
      Robin: Bad maps. Creaky houses. Hillbilly in a gorilla suit.
      Marshall: Aliens. (Robin shakes her head) Oh, come one, you gotta give me aliens. Stonehenge. Area 51. There's alien crap all over the place.
      Robin: You can't be serious.
      Marshall: My friend, you just poked the bear.

    • Lily: Holy crap. We got it! What do we do with it?
      Marshall: Calm down, I have a plan. I told my friend, Sudeep, about it. He wants to show it to the Columbia biology department. But it has to be alive.
      Lily: Wait, no, no. They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean. Shouldn't we just beat it to death with a bat?

    • Ted: Look, don't you think you're being a little impulsive marrying a guy you just met a few months ago?
      Sarah: Don't you think it's a little impulsive for you to proposition an engaged woman you don't even know?
      Ted: See, we're both impulsive. We're perfect for each other.

    • Sarah: Ted, just calm down.
      Ted: Calm down! You're my only match! There was a computer and there were 8 fish in the sea full of lesbians.

    • Robin: Oh my God. It's real.
      Lily: Oh, is it? Do something. (Robin throws drink at the cockamouse) What the hell was that? You're trying to get it drunk?

    • Marshall: Lily, I love you. (grabs cockamouse and run towards window) Robin, open the window! (throws cockamouse out the window)
      Robin: It can fly.
      Lily, Marshall: Wow.
      Marshall: Be free, mutant beast. I'll miss this private war of ours. I grew to admire your tenacious...Oh my God, it's headed this way.

    • Robin: Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal, but you've exaggerated it in your mind; you know, um, like the Loch Ness Monster.
      Marshall: If by "like the Loch Ness Monster," you mean "totally exists and is awesome," then, yeah, it's like the Loch Ness Monster.

    • Ted (enters the Love Solutions office to find his match-maker Ellen hunched over and despondent; she has failed to match him with the woman of his dreams in 3 days as she promised): Hi, Ellen! I think I want my money back!
      Ellen Pierce: I'm a failure! I'm all washed up! I tried everything, Ted! I widened the search parameters. I tweaked the program! Last night I stood out on the street for 5 hours showing your photo to random pedestrians. No takers! Although this transvestite hooker said he/she would do you for half-price because you look like John Cusack and his/her favorite movie is 'Say anything.'
      (She breaks into tears. Ted sees an ice cream carton on the desk in front of Ellen)
      Ted: Come on, Ellen! A pint of ice cream? Isn't that a bit of a cliche?
      Ellen Pierce: It's full of bourbon.
      (gulps it down)
      Ted: This isn't hopeless! You're going to find someone for me!
      Ellen Pierce: No! I won't! You're going to die alone!
      Ted (said with a forced cheer): I'm not going to die alone! Look at me! I'm bright! I'm attractive. You should go back out there and keep looking!
      Ellen Pierce: No! You're never going to find anybody! And every year you're just getting older and it's getting harder and harder!
      Ted: You're being ridiculous!
      (indicates the wall on which Ellen has hung the photos of happy couples she has matched up)
      Ted: I'm going to be up on that wall one of these days!
      Ellen Pierce: No, you won't!

    • Ellen Pierce (a match-maker): You give me 3 days and I will find the woman you will marry.
      Ted: No, thanks. I don't need an algorithm to meet women. It's New York, you know. Plenty of fish in the sea!
      Ellen Pierce (mocking him): Plenty of fish in the sea!
      (grabs a calculator form the desk and starts clicking away)
      Ellen Pierce: There's 9 million people in New York. 4.5 million women. Of course, you want to meet someone roughly your own age - let's say plus, minus 5 years. So if you take into account the most recent census data that leaves us with 482,000 women. But wait! 48% of those are already in relationships and then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor and compatibility. And then you have to take out the ex girlfriends and the relatives. And, oh, you can't forget those lesbians. And then that leaves us with 8 women.
      (pushes calculator screen into Ted's face)
      Ted (starts to get concerned): That can't be right! Eight? Really? Eight?
      Ellen Pierce: There are 8 fish in that big blue ocean, Ted. And if you feel confident that you can reel one into your boat without me, there's the door.
      Ted: Do you take credit cards?

    • Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach, it had fur. And only mammals have fur.
      Lily: It was a cockroach.
      Marshall: Come on Lily, the only way it was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.
      Lily (horrified at the thought): Oh my god!

    • Lily: Don't Ted-out about it.
      Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb?
      Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that when you're not around. "Ted-out": to over think. See also "Ted-up". "Ted-up": to over think with disastrous consequences. For example, "Billy Tedded-up when he-"
      Ted: All right, I get it!

    • Matchmaker: Don't give up hope, Ted. There are new women turning 18 every day.

    • Robin: So what was it, a cockroach or a mouse?
      Lily: It was a cockamouse!
      Robin: A cockamouse?
      Lily: It was some mutant combination of the two. It was like a cockroach and a mouse . . .
      Barney: Did the horizontal, ten-legged, interspecies cha cha?

    • Barney: Come on, Ted, this is an incredible opportunity; we'll meet our soul mates, nail 'em and never call 'em again.

    • Barney: Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot, that's a perfect cocktail, shake well, then sleep with.
      Ted: I'm not going to a matchmaker, that's like giving up. It's the man-version of getting a cat.

    • Barney: (chuckling) Marshall ran away from a cockroach.
      Marshall: (upset) It was a mouse!
      Barney: Sorry, my bad! You're a man!

    • Marshall: I don't know what it is but margaritas make me sexy.

    • Ted: If a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy world, then so can I!

  • NOTES (2)

    • The German episode title is "Kakerlake liebt Maus", meaning "Cockroach Loves Mouse". The French title is "L'Élue", meaning "The Chosen One". The Italian title is "Questione di compatibilità", meaning "Compatibility Issue".

    • International Air Dates: Germany: October 4, 2008 on ProSieben; Czech Republic: December 8, 2009 on Prima COOL


    • Robin, upon seeing the trap Marshall has constructed, quips, "That's a nice trap. Think the Road Runner will fall for it?" The Road Runner was a recurring character on Looney Toons. He consistently met up with the hungry and determined Wiley E. Coyote, but always managed to out-wit him.