How I Met Your Mother

Intro
Ted talks to his kids
The children try to run off, but he orders them to listen to his story about love.

In 2005
In the bar, Lily and Marshall enter completely freaked out. Lily grabs Barney's Whisky and drinks it on ex. Marshall order immediately anther round. So Ted asks what happened.

Marshall and Lily start to tell what's happened: They entered the apartment kissing, when Lily sees something under the table and they both run away screaming. Marshall thinks it was a mouse, but Lily disagrees! She thinks it's a huge cockroach. They start to argue. Barney starts to make jokes about Marshall fleeing from a mouse or a cockroach.

Then Robin's interview is broadcasted and so they watch her interview with a dating agency owner. The owner claims that she has a 100% success rate. She says that everything is just a matter of science. When Barney sees a client enter the office during the interview, he decides that he and Ted will sign up! He thinks that's the perfect opportunity to find desperate women. Ted tries to refuse to go there, because he thinks it will mean that he failed to get his soul mate on his own.
Marshall and Lily still argue about the type of animal they just saw. When Marshall says that it's only could have been a cockroach when it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed. This idea freaks both out more and Lily grabs Barney's Whisky again.

Back in the apartment Ted hears something while he reads on the couch. Before he can look into it, Barney storms in and gets Ted to come with him, with a fake story about his boat sinking.

So Ted and Barney are at the dating agency and fill out the forms. Barney plays the desperate man - regretting his lifestyle when the owner enters the office. She tells him to get out, because she sees that he's only playing. She threatens Barney to leave, so he leaves. She tells Ted that she will only need three days to find the perfect match for him. Ted tries to refuse, but she calculates the potential number of women, ready to date him in New York City. She tells him that only 8 women are out there, who might fit the profile for. So Ted agrees to use the service.

Back at the Bar, Lily takes again Barney's Whisky and tells him and Robin that the animal is back. Marshall tells them that the animal has grown. So Lily tells them what happened: They were watching TV, when Marshall saw it again. They used an insect sprat and Marshall threw the phone book at it. Lily cried, because she thought that thay had just killed an animal. Then the phone book (with the animal under it) started moving again. Lily and Marshall were scared again and they fled to the bar.
Marshall and Lily tell Robin that it has to be some kind of hybrid between cockroach and mouse – a mutant! Marshall and Lily drink their shots.

Ted enters and complains about the open apartment door. Ted is worried, because it has been five days and the dating agency hasn't called back. Lily tells him not to "Ted-out" about it. So Barney tells him that they use his name all the time as verb.

Back at the dating agency Ted asks about the status of his case. The owner tells Ted, that there are no women out there for him! She is devastated, because now she can't tell anymore that she has a 100% success rate. Ted is devastated too, because there is no woman he can meet. She shows him her results. There would be a match, but that girl is already paired up with a man. Ted thinks that he has the better "match rating" and wants to meet her. She tells Ted that there are new woman turning 18 every day. When she leaves for lunch, Ted enters the office and gets the girls address.

Back at the bar Lily and Marshall are painting a picture of the animal in their apartment. All people think this is funny and they are just crazy. Ted is excited about the information he has on the woman (the information he stole form the office). Robin thinks that Lily and Marshall have smoked too much weird stuff. Ted wants to check the woman out. So Ted gets a doctors appointment at his potential dream girl. Ted tries to ask her out, but she tells him that she is already engaged.

Back at the apartment Marshall and Lily are building a trap. Robin is really sceptical. Ted and Barney enter as well. Ted is disappointed about his failure. Then the doctor calls Ted and wants to see him and Ted thinks she will date him now. So Ted runs off.
Barney and Robin leave. Then the animal gets in the trap and is trapped in a pot.

Ted enters the doctor's office. She informs him that he should have some malls removed. She doesn't even think about dating him. They start arguing about their situation. Ted finally sees that he can't force her.

Marshall took the trap to a science friend of his. When they open the trap, it's empty. Marshall thinks that might be the end for Lily.

In the apartment Lily shows the thing to Robin. Robin throws a drink on it. Marshall comes home and tries to catch it. He does and throws it out of the window. All three look out the open window, relieved - the thing starts flying. When it flies back to them they close the window. They are scared again. The animal hits the window and falls down.

At the dating agency, Ted wants his money back. The owner is crying. She tells him that she tried everything. She even tried to find women on the street while showing his picture around. She thinks she is a failure. Ted tries to convince her that she will have success one day. He convinces her to look again for him, but this time for free.