Old Persons List includes:
- Put on reading glasses
- Yell at neighborhood kids
- Go to bed at 8
- Wake up at 4am
- Eat dinner at 4pm
- Take forever to answer the phone
The Murtaugh list includes: - Playing laser tag - Pull an all–nighter - Eat an entire pizza - Hang posters on your wall without frames - Get ear pierced - Do laundry at mom's house - Crash on a friends futon instead of getting a hotel room - Put off going to the doctor¬ - Drinking shots with strangers - Leave annoying two person message on your answering machine - Help someone move out of a six-floor walk-up in exchange for pizza and beer - Dye your hair a funny color - Go to a rave - Drink from a Beer bong
When Barney gets warned that he will be banned from laser tag if he goes on playing so aggressively, one can read on the whiteboard behind that he holds all the records.
Laser Tag Arena Owner: (final lines) Hell, no! I'm callin' the police. (speaking to himself, frowning) Gone-ass man with pink hair throwing toilet paper?! You gotta be kiddin' me! Y'all do all over this sh--
Future Ted: Stuff! He said "stuff"!
Ted: You know, Barney, last night I went to bed at eight o'clock because it was on the list. And I couldn't sleep, because well, it was eight o'clock. So I decided to watch Lethal Weapon. And then when I still couldn't sleep, I watched Lethal Weapon 2. And then 3. And then, halfway through Lethal Weapon 4, it's when it occurred to me. Murtaugh kept saying "I'm too old for this stuff" but every time he'd say it, he'd turn around, make a movie, and do more stuff. I guess what I'm saying is, screw being old. Let's go TP laser tag!
Barney: Yeah! And then the hospital.
Ted: What happened to you?
Barney: Oh, I had a blow-out-my-knee-and-it-hurts-like-hell incident.
Ted: How'd you blow out your knee?
Barney: We helped someone move out of a six-floor walkup in exchange for pizza and beer!
Robin: Or we helped someone rob a six-floor walkup. They were in a big hurry and left all the pictures behind.
Barney: Whatevs. It counts.
Lily: Marshall, they're in kindergarten. You don't teach basketball this way.
Marshall: Sure you do, it's the way I learned.
Lily: Are you kidding? What sociopath taught you this way?
Young Marshall: Come on, Dad! I'm tired!
Marvin: Sleep is for winners! You can go to bed when you score a basket!
Young Marshall: I'm trying!
Marvin: Oh, let's give you two points for trying! Negative two points for having a great big head!
Marshall: My father gave me no quarter. And I asked for no quarter.
Robin: We have our own list.
Robin: Do each of the things on this list and then tell me you still want to be an old man.
Ted: Remove "colonoscopy" and "sex with an old lady" and this is a cakewalk.
Barney: (Leaving a message) Hi, this is Barney...
Robin: And Robin.
Barney: We can't get to the phone right now because...
Robin: He's watching sports, and I'm...
Barney: Probably out shopping! (They laugh)
Barney: Leave a message and we'll call you back just as soon...
Barney and Robin: Can!
Ted: That's why I have this list, so I never make the mistake of thinking I could still pull an all-nighter.
Marshall: I'm too old for that stuff.
Ted: Or eat an entire pizza in one sitting.
Marshall: I'm too old for that stuff.
Ted: Or hang posters on your wall without frames.
Marshall: Wait. Wait! I'm too old for that stuff. By the way, how good is Lethal Weapon?
Barney: You cannot believe what happened to me at laser tag today.
Ted: Everyone freaked out because a grown man was scaring their children?
Lily: At tomorrow's game, if you're anything less than a teddybear stuffed with cotton-candy and rainbows, I will silent-treatment your ass into the ground. You will think the time I found your Internet search history was a picnic.
The German episode title is "Die Murtaugh-Liste", meaning "The Murtaugh List". The French title is "Compétition finale", meaning "Final Competition". The Italian title is "La lista delle sfide", meaning "List of Challenges".
International Airdates: Australia: May 25, 2009 on Channel 9; Germany: January 30, 2010 on ProSieben; United Kingdom: April 15, 2010 on E4; Czech Republic: November 23, 2010 on Prima COOL
The basketball playing werewolf references the 1985 comedy Teen Wolf in which Michael J. Fox plays a teenage werewolf who once transforms into a werewolf during a basketball game.
After agreeing to the bet with Ted, Barney shouts, "Alright, let's do this, Baaaarney Stiiinson," and storms out of the room, similar to what Leroy Jenkins did in the viral World of Warcraft video.
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