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Works with Carlos Girl
Voice of Ted, 2030
The couch that the future kids are sitting on has changed. In the first episode it was a modern black leather couch. In this and later episodes it is a Chesterfield style couch.
Lily: Look who I ran into.
Ted: Since when do you guys know each other?
Robin: Since about, here. (points to top of glass)
Barney: Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.
Lily: You waited five minutes to tell me that?
Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever.
Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"
Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height.
Marshall: Hey, where the hell is my...oh! OK. Introduction to Contract Tort and Restitution Statutes from 1865 to 1923 is not a coaster! Ted! I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw, not one, not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met who's probably not even going to show up. I mean, where is she, Ted, huh? Where's Robin? (turns around and sees Robin) Hi. Hi, Robin.
Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid. I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna write a 25-page paper. I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Future Ted: He got a B-, but still. 25 pages in one night? B-? The Kid was good.
Ted: (To the kid stuck in the crane machine, after sprinting from his apartment to "casually" run into Robin on purpose) You just had to have that toy, did you? Couldn't play the game like everybody else?
Kid: You're all sweaty!
Ted: (turning away with a gulp, because Robin is within earshot) Cute kid!
Ted: You know it's so funny I ran into you. We're having a party next Friday if you'd like to swing by, but, you know, whatever.
Robin: Oh, I'm going back home next weekand. Too bad it's not tonight.
Ted: It is, it's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, 'cause I've been saying next Friday all week. But yeah it's tonight; the party is tonight. But, you know, whatever.
Lily: Hey I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. Me beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: (Stops working and looks at Lily) No underwear?
Lily: Not even slightly.
Ted: Guys. Boundaries.
Ted (to Robin): My friends are gonna love you. Like you. You know, as a friend...
Robin: You can't turn off the way you feel.
Ted: (pantomimes turning a dial on his chest) Click. Off. Let's make out.
Ted: What, that was the off switch! And I turned it off... I mean, yes, sure, I wanna fall in love, get married, blah blah blah, but... on the other hand, you, me... the roof...
Robin: There's no off switch.
Ted: There's an off switch. And it's off.
Robin: (leaning in) No it's not.
Ted: Yes, it is.
Robin: No, it's not.
Ted: Yes. It is...
(they kiss passionately)
Ted: ...No it's not... You were right. There's no off switch... God, I wish there was an off switch!
Ted: She's still talking to Carlos... I can still win this, it's not over!
Lily: Okay, buddy, time for the tough talk... Robin seems great. But let's look at the facts, you wanna get married. And right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you... but Robin ain't one of them.
Robin: So, you threw all these parties for me?
Ted: No! Oh, you thought - no... okay, yes. You got me. One of the reasons I threw these parties was so I could introduce you to, um...
(Barney shoves some random guy towards Ted)
Ted: ...this guy! I figured, since it didn't work out between us, and now we can just laugh about it...
Ted: Anyways, Robin, this is...
Ted and Barney: Ohh...
Barney: Hi, have you met Ted?
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: No.
Barney: Do you know Marshall? Lily?
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: No.
Barney: Hmm. Do you know anyone at this party?
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: I work with Carlos.
Barney: Excuse me.
(to Ted, Marshall and Lily)
Barney: Anybody know a Carlos?
(they shake their heads)
Barney: On a silver platter.
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: (behind Barney) Hello, Barney.
Barney: Of course...
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: You look well. Isn't it weird they invited both of us?
Barney: Who? Who invited you, no one even knows who you are!
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: I understand, you're hurt, but... you don't have to be cruel. Carlos was right about you.
Barney: Who Is Carlos!?
Robin: Sorry I missed your party again.
Ted: Hey, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, mamacita!
(to Marshall and Lily)
Ted: Who am I?
Barney: So, it's over between me and... Works-with-Carlos girl.
Ted: Whoa, that was fast.
Barney: Yeah. I was trying to think, "What's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met?"
(flashback to about 5 seconds ago)
Barney: I think I'm in love with you.
Girl - Works With Carlos Girl: What?
(back in the present)
Barney: Thanks, bro!
Ted: Glad I could help...
(trying to act casual)
Ted: (on the phone) Hello?
Robin: Hi, Ted.
Ted: Amanda? Oh, Denise, sorry, you totally sounded like Amanda...
Barney: Ted, let's rap. Statistics: At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... with this?
Robin: What are you doing here?
Ted: Oh, you know, uh, just shopping for, uh... dip. I love dip. Well, I don't love dip, I like dip. As a friend.
Barney: What does Carlos have that I don't?
Robin: A date tonight?
Lily: Ooh, stop the tape, rewind, play it again!
Robin: (makes rewind sound) A date tonight?
Barney: I'm not sure I like her.
(Ted, Lily and Marshall is sitting on the sofa after the party)
Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Barney: The girl from last night, I took her back to my place, then this morning spun her around a couple of times and sent her walking. She'll never find her way back and there she is!
[Robin reported a story about a kid that got stuck in a crane machine]
Ted: Did they let him keep the purple giraffe?
Robin: Yea, they let him keep all the toys, he was in there a long time and little kids have small bladders.
(Barney looks for girls at the party pretending to be using the telescope of a submarine)
Barney: Beep, target acquired. Now it's time to play a little game I'd like to call: Haaave you met Ted?
Ted: Oh come on, not this..
[Barney pokes the girl on the shoulder]
Barney: Hi, haaave you met Ted?
Robin: I don't know, Ted. I mean, we barely know each other and you're looking at me with that look, and it's like-
Ted: Like what?
Robin: Like, let's fall in love, and get married, and have kids, and drive them to soccer practice.
Ted: I'm not going to force sports onto them unless they're interested.
Ted: She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? 'Cause it's a game; I wanted to skip to the end and do the whole happily ever after thing, but you don't get there, unless you play the game!
Marshall: So you're gonna ask her out?
Ted: Yeah! No! I can't ask her out! 'Cause if I ask her out, I'm asking her out! So how do I ask her out, without asking her out?
Lily(to Ted and Barney): Did you guys get high?
Barney: This is so lame.
Ted: Lame . . . or casual?
Ted: . . . or casual?
The German episode title is "Die lila Giraffe", and the Italian title is "La giraffa viola", both exact translations. The French title is "Je te présente Ted", meaning "I Introduce Ted" but essentially an equivalent of Barney's staple line, "Have You Met Ted?".
International Airdates: Germany: September 13, 2008 on ProSieben; Czech Republic: November 30, 2009 on Prima COOL
Barney: You were so right about the roof. The roof! The roof... is... on.... fire, Ted!
This references the following lyrics from "The Roof Is on Fire" by Rockmaster Scott & The Dynamic Three:
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
(We don't need no water, let the motherf***er burn)
Marshall claims, "Everybody had fun. Everybody wanged, everybody chunged," referencing the 1986 song, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight", by Wang Chung.
Ted throwing a party specifically for Robin: Resembles in the novel The Great Gatsby when he throws party for only one girl and doesn't entertain his guests. Marshall even calls Ted "Gatsby" at the beginning of the first party and there is a green lamp burning much like in the book.
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