Voice of Ted, 2030
Robin: I love that look. I think I slept with you because of that look, and it's fake?
Ted: Oh right, and you shyly looking away while thrusting your chest out is natural?
Robin: Yeah, I hear ya.
Lily: Is Chloe here?
Scott: She just left. You can still catch her. She's easy to spot. She's got a bright pink umbrella.
Lily: Oh. Thanks, Brian.
Scott: I'm Scott.
Lily: Your tag says Brian.
Scott: Yeah, I know. So I wake up this morning, and--
Lily: Yeah, see ya.
Barney: One time I met a girl... at this very bar...
Barney: I saw that she had the crazy eyes... but I ignored it. And then, sure enough...
Lauren: Barney, can I ask you a question?
Lauren: Would you like to have a three-some?
Barney: [looking un-comfortable and catching breath] of course...
Lauren: Great! It would be me, you and Mr Weasels! [pulls out stuffed animal]
[back to the present]
Ted: So, did you do it ?
Barney: No. It ended up being just the two-some. With the third one watching from a chair.
Ted: Which one were you ?
Barney: [looking askance] I'd rather not say.
(3 weeks ago)
Chloe: Marshall, here's your pumpkin latte.
Marshall: Wow, how'd you fit a pumpkin into this little cup?
(8 days ago)
Customer: (to Chloe) I'll have a pumpkin latte.
Marshall: How do they even fit a pumpkin into those little cups? What, you got a shrink ray back there?
Marshall: Hey, remember that time I said that thing, "how do they fit a pumpkin into the little cup?"
Chloe: Which time?
Marshall: The first time.
Chloe: Yeah. (laughing) That was really funny.
Ted: (in a teasing sing-song voice to Marshall) Somebody has a crush on you.
Barney:(in a teasing sing-song voice to Marshall) Somebody thinks you're me.
Robin: I signed him up for People en Español, but I addressed it to Swarlos.
Robin: What's up, Swarles?
Barney: No, okay? No! No more! I will not let this become a thing! It's OVER! No more "Swarley!" No "Swarles!" No more "Swar-LAY!" No more "Swar--wait for it--LEE!" No more "Bob Swarleyman!" No more! No! It's over! Do you understand?
Lily and Robin: Yes.
Barney: Thank you. [walks away, unaware of a "CALL ME SWARLEY :-)" sign on his back]
[While discussing Marshall's new girlfriend at the bar]
Marshall: Right? Right? She's hot! And she likes me, she likes Italian food, I also like Italian food. She likes Billy Joel, I also like..music! And I think we're gonna go out again.
Barney: Dude, you gotta ditch her!
Barney: She's got the crazy eyes.
Ted: Dude, the eyes, they're crazy.
Barney: You know, I was thinking about this whole new name thing last night, you know what I realized? I like it!
Robin: You like being called Swarley?
Barney: You kidding? I love being called that!
Ted: You really think this is gonna work?
Barney: Do I think what's gonna work? I'm just saying, I love my new name. So please, only call me that from now on.
Ted: Call you what?
Barney: You know, that new name..th..that you've been calling me..
Ted: Say it.
Barney: Why? You guys know what it is.
Ted: Say the name..
Barney: [Screams] NOO! I don't want to! I hate it! It's not funny! It's never been funny, I've never done anything--Gaaaaah!
[Barney runs out of the apartment]
Robin: If it makes you feel any better, Ted says she has the crazy eyes.
Lily: What's that?
Robin: Apparently a thing women have that guys can see that tells them that the girl's crazy.
Lily: Oh! Kinda like you never wanna date a guy with perfect fingernails?
Robin: Jerk nails, exactly.
Lily: Are you free tomorrow night? I was thinking of having a wine tasting slash help me catch the rat in my apartment party.
Ted: That's a great idea, you can put out cheese for both.
All: Awkward silence
Ted: So i guess that decides it.
Barney: Hanging out in a coffee place not nearly as much fun as hanging out in a bar.
The guys try hanging out in a coffee shop (a la "Friends") and they notice that the coffee girl has put a heart on Marshalls cup
Marshall: Well, what if the heart doesn't mean anything? What if she writes them on all the cups?
Ted: Mine says "Ted", no heart
Barney: Mine says... "Swarley".... How'd they get "Swarley" from "Barney"? It's not even a name. Who would ever be called "Swarley"?....(Marshall and Ted smile)
Oh, please don't start calling me "Swarley"... This would never happen at a bar!
Barney leaves the coffee shop
Ted: Man! What's up with Swarley?
Marshall: I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset.
The German episode title is "Swarley". The French episode is "Un chaperon inattendu", meaning "An Unepected Chaperone". The Italian title is "Chiamatemi Swarley", meaning "Call Me Swarley".
Alyson Hannigan and guest Tom Lenk previously worked together on several episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
International Airdates: Czech Republic: January 14, 2010 on Prima COOL
Music Featured In This Episode:
"I Am Woman" By Helen Reddy ,
"Where Everybody Knows Your Name (Cheers Theme)" by Judy Hart & Gary Portnoy,
"Forever" by The Explorers Club
Alternate Title: "Crazy Eyes"
When Barney is going on about how NOT to call him Swarley:
"Bob Swarley, mon" is a reference to Bob Marley.
"Swar - wait for it - ley" is a reference to his own take on the word legendary. "Legen - wait for it - DARY!"
When Barney says: "Hanging out in a coffee place not nearly as much fun as hanging out in a bar." He's referencing Friends where the characters used to hang in a coffee place.
At the very end of the episode, Barney walks into the bar. On cue from the bartender, everyone turns and calls out "Swarley" then the bartender plays the theme song to Cheers, the credits roll and they are done up in the same fashion as Cheers, which revolved around a bar called Cheers and its regular patrons.
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