Marshall, Ted, and Barney are all seated at a coffee shop, looking very bored. Ted notices that the cute coffee girl has written a heart next to Marshall's name on his coffee cup. They figure out that the coffee girl has a crush on Marshall, especially since every time Marshall comes in, he cracks her up. Ted encourages Marshall to ask her out. Marshall says maybe the heart means nothing. Ted checks his cup, it says "Ted", while Barney's cup says "Swarley." The guys decide to start calling Barney, Swarley throughout the episode.
Ted is walking into the front door as Robin is on the phone with her mother. Ted tells her that Marshall asked out the coffee girl. Lily walks in and invites them to a "Wine tasting/help me catch the mouse in my apartment" party, and wonders if she should invite Marshall. Robin informs Lily that Marshall has a date, and Lily says she is ok with it.
Ted is talking to Barney about his suit, when the Carl, the bartender, calls out that he has a phonecall for Swarley. Marshall and his date Chloe come in, and Marshall introduces her to the guys. Chloe steps away to use the restroom, and the guys talk about her. Marshall is talking about how hot she is, however, Barney and Ted are informing him that Chloe has "crazy eyes." They go on to explain that a person who has crazy eyes, predict future mental instabitlity. Barney goes on to tell his tale about a women he met with crazy eyes.
Flashback: Barney's crazy eye's women's bedroom
Barney and crazy eyes are making out on her bed. She asks Barney if he'd like to have a threesome, which Barney agrees to. She then tells him that it'll be the two of them, and her teddy bear, Mr. Weasels.
Ted then tells his encounter with a women with crazy eyes, Janine.
Flashback: Outside on the streets
Ted and Janine are having a conversation and walking down the street. They're about to cross, and a car brakes hard not to hit them. The driver apologizes, which Ted accepts, but Janine goes bizzerk, and starts beating up the car with a pole. She then walks back to Ted like nothing happened.
Marshall insists that she doesn't have the crazy eyes, and that she's awesome.
We see Marshall tip-toe out of a lecture hall and pick up a phone call from Chloe. She asks him to come get her because a weird midget guy with a limp and hunchback was following her. Which makes her sound completely crazy to Marshall, but he believes her and backs up the story when he retells it to the guys.
Marshall and Ted's apartment
Chloe and Marshall are at the apartment, Chloe is wandering around the living room, whie Marshall is in the kitchen making drinks. Marshall hears the sound of something dropping to the floor, when he asks, Chloe replies that she dropped her keys. Marshall walks back into the living room with some beers and notices a picture frame on broken on the ground containing a picture of him and Lily. Marshall asks Chloe if she broke the frame, but she says she didn't. Marshall is unsure, and asks to look into her eyes, obviously to check for craziness. He's staring into her eyes, and Chloe decides to go in for a kiss, when all of a sudden Lily jumps up from behind the couch, yells "Stop!" and jumps in between them.
Future Ted is telling his kids about that Lily jumping from behind the couch during Marshall's date sounds crazy, but once they hear her side of the story, it's still crazy, but makes more sense.
3 days earlier, at McLaren's
Lily and Robin discuss Marshall's date with Chloe. Lily starts asking questions about Chloe, and if she's pretty. Robin tells her she doesn't know, but she can check for herself at the coffee sho.
The coffee shop
Lily walks in with a hat, huge back pack and holding jacket. She asks a worker if Chloe is there, however Chloe just left. He tells her she can probably catch her, she's walking down the street with a large pink umbrella. Lily goes out to search for Chloe when it starts raining, she decides to drap the jacket over herself and her backpack. We see Lily following Chloe, hiding under her jacket so she doesn't get wet. Lily is so busy watching Chloe she runs into a metal pipe and hurts her leg. She's praying for Chloe to turn around, but nothing is happening, and decides to yell out "Turn around, Chloe" and "Hey, you" in a man's voice. Chloe turns around to see a hunched back midget with a limp chasing after her and she runs away.
Lily is telling Robin that Chloe is hot, and Robin apologizes. Lily says its fine, because now she knows she has to stop Marshall from seeing her again. She hatches 2 plans, Plan A, Lily gets "knocked up" or Plan B, titled "Chloe's Accident". Robin tells her she can't go through with that. If Lily wants to get back together with Marshall some day, she's going to have to let him work out whatever it is.
Marshall and Ted's apartment
Lily and Robin enter the apartment and talk to Ted, who has a surprise for Swarley. Barney is sitting on the couch, working on his PDA. Ted turns on the radio, and we hear the DJ give a shout out to Swarley. Barney tries a little reverse pyschology, and says that he loves being called Swarley, but no one falls for it. Barney storms out. Lily notices that the picture of her and Marshall is missing from it's usual spot. Ted tells her that he put it away in the bookshelf.
Later that night at Marshall and Ted's apartment
Lily enters a dark living room and searches for the picture in the bookshelf. She finds it and sets it on the piano, but hears Marshall and Chloe unlocking the door, she accidentally drops the photo and hides behind the couch. Marshall and Chloe walk in and Marshall makes her a drink. We see Lily hiding under the desk behind the couch, stuck listening to Marshall's date until she couldn't take it anymore and jumps up from behind the couch. Lily introduces herself to Chloe, apologizes, and runs out.
On the front steps of the apartment building
Lily is sitting alone until Marshall walks down the steps to talk to her. He asks her what she was doing. She explains that she freaked out when she saw her yesterday and how cute she was. Marshall realizes that she is the hunched back person with a limp. Lily says that she's the one who broke the photo, and Marshall realizes that Chloe is actually a nice normal girl. Lily encourages him to go back to his date. Marshall tells her that she's crazy, that she has the craziest eyes than anyone he's ever met. He tells her how much he's missed her, and they break into a kiss.
Ted and Barney walk by the steps and see the reunited couple, and they decide to go the bar to celebrate.
Marshall and Ted's apartment
After the celebration they go back to the apartment, only to find Chloe still sitting on the couch, and the entire apartment a mess. Turned over chairs, paper and books everywhere, lamps knocked over. Marshall apologizes for forgetting she was up there. Chloe says its ok, she was going to leave but she couldn't find her keys. Marshall points out that they're right on the coffee table in front of her. Chloe, giggles, and then leaves happily.
Closing scene at McLaren's
Barney walks into McLaren's. The entire bar greets him with a nice big "Swarley!" and Carl plays the Cheers theme from a stereo. Barney walks right back out.