How I Met Your Mother

Carl: Compliments of that guy. (lifts drink towards Robin and Lily) Lily: Really? Sweet. Carl: Oh, for you, it's $6.

Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you. Barney: Don't say you're gonna kill someone in front of airport security. Not cool.

Robin: Lily's phone. Marshall: Robin, where's Lily? Is she talking to some hot guy? Well, you can tell me, it's totally cool, it was my idea. Hell, I told her she could take the ring off. Robin: Really? I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it, yeah, it's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and... Marshall: No, don't interrupt, it's awesome. So, the ring's really off. Awesome. Well, just tell her I called. And tell her that she's… awesome. (hangs up phone and starts singing) Really, really awesome. Our relationship is built on mutual trust. Can't breathe.

Marshall: Back off, hombre. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this, guy? Be my guest. Lily: Marshall, he's gay. Marshall: Oh, thank God, I've never been in a fight before.

Lily: (to Robin) I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean and see how many fish I could catch. So far one, one gay dolphin.

Ted: If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell, just go lick it yourself. Barney: No, it has to be the two of us. Ted: Why? Why do you need me? Barney: Because you're my best friend, all right? You don't have to tell me I'm yours. But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm just the dynamic uno.

Barney: Now, Ted, you can either put the bags on the carousel, or you can wait and listen to me give you a really long speech convincing you to put the bags on the carousel. (Ted doesn't move) Barney: ...Ted, since the dawn of time, Man has struggled... (Ted takes the bags and puts them on the carousel)

Random Person: So where are you from, heaven? Robin: That's right, I'm a ghost. I died fifteen years ago, kinda like that pick-up line. Lily: Hey-Oh!

Barney: Ted, get in the cab. Marshall, you too. Marshall: Uh I wish I could but I think me and Lily... Barney: I understand. (to Ted) Come on! Ted: Why can Marshall say no? Barney: Uhh, because he's getting laid. Marshall: (to Ted) Consistently.

Ted (to Barney): Wait, so when you said we were going to pick someone up at the airport you meant you were going to pick someone *up* at the airport?

Barney: It will be legend-wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is dairy!

Future Ted: I had no idea how Barney redirected the cab without me knowing but we got out, Dana let us in, and by God, we licked the Liberty Bell. And, you know what it tastes like? (cut to MacLaren's) Girl: What? Ted: Freedom. No, actually, it tastes like pennies. Girl: My God. Did you guys really do that? Future Ted: We really did. And that was when I realized why I hung out with Barney. I never got where I thought I wanted to go, but I always got a great story.

Robin: Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another comes along in five minutes. Lily: Unless it's the end of the night, then you get on anything!

Ted: (to Barney) Don't say "legendary." You're too liberal with the word "legendary." (Flashback) Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's going to be legendary! Snowsuit up!

Barney: Tuck in your shirt; you look sketchy. Ted: I look sketchy?

Marshall (Singing): Studying law. Making a responsible choice for my future. On a Friday night... Being a lawyer had better be awesome. (Phone rings) (Still Singing) What's up Ted? Ted: Are you alright?

Ted: Why can't we go to McClaran's? Barney: McClaran's is boring. Let's go to the strip clubs. We're gonna go out, we're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. Phone-five! Barney does a high five with his cellphone. Ted's voice over: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney. Barney: You didn't Phone-five, did you? I know when you don't Phone-five Ted! (motioning with his hand) McClaran's is THIS much fun. But what I'm offering is the chance to have *THIS* much fun! Ted: (also using his hands) See, you always say that, you always say it's gonna be *THIS* much fun, but it always ends up being THIS much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe. Barney: This whole hand signal thing doesn't really work over the phone, does it? Ted: No, it doesn't.

Sasha: (whispers) You guys keep your voices down you're going to wake my grandpa. Who wants hard lemonade? (hard lemonade is passed down the couch) Barney: (lifts his bottle up) Philly! Sasha: Shhhh.... Barney: (whispers) Philly!

Barney: Look, our forefathers died for the "pursuit of happiness," okay? Not for the "sit around and wait of happiness." Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it. Taxi driver: That was beautiful, man.

Barney: You're in a rut. Ted: I'm not in a rut. I have a routine. Barney: Ted, what is the first syllable in rut-tine?

Ted: My friend does this thing where he goes to the airport and leaves fake luggage in order to meet women. Airport Security Guard: No one is that lame. Ted: He is. He is that lame. Barney, tell them you're that lame. Barney: We are international businessmen.