How I Met Your Mother

Lily: If he's really droning on, you can always practice saying the alphabet backwards. You know, in case you get pulled over for a DUI. Robin: I guess I don't know how to do that. Lily: Yeah, it's really hard, even when you're sober. That's what I tried to explain to the cop.

(Robin and Lily talk while getting a pedicure)
Robin: So now he's all mad about this stupid movie.
Lily: Robin, he's upset because you wouldn't listen to him, not because you didn't like some movie.
(Cut to Ted talking with Marshall and Barney)
Ted: How do you not like Field of Dreams?!?!?!

Marshall: You know what dude, forget about Robin ok, you're hanging with us tonight, I got a awesome party lined up. Barney: Oh God, it's going to be another one of your weird all guy parties? Marshall: That was a poker game, what is wrong with you?

Carl: Hey, Lily. Still single? Lily: Yes. Carl: You know, I poured a lot of free drinks for you over the years, a lot. Lily: Carl, do you really want to be with a woman who would trade sex for beer. Carl: Only if you're into it.

Barney: ...And that led to a couple of hours that I cannot, as a gentleman, divulge to you. (Barney pauses for a second) We did it, right here and here and here!

Barney: And thus ends this session of `Let's pour our hearts out in the bedroom of Barney's one night stand.´

Robin: Hey...
Ted: Hey! How was your day?
Robin: Good (kisses Ted and smiles)
Ted: (waits a few seconds) Wow, you're a great interviewer. Aren't you gonna ask me how my day was?
Robin: No, I know how it was. It was awful. Oh, you wanna rent a movie tonight?

Ted: Hey, Marshall. You up for some super-loud, repetitive music that hasn't changed since the mid '90s? Marshall: Ummm...only always.

Lily: He asked her to a party! Oh my God! Are you okay? Robin: Okay? It's awesome. It's a win-win. Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talkie-talk he'll come over and I'll get the fun part. Lily: What is wrong with you?!

Marshall & Barney (in unison): Nooo! Ted: Yes! Marshal: Well all skyscrapers kinda look like a... Ted: Marshall it's a 78 story pink marble tower with a rounded top, and two spherical entryways at the front. Marshall: Wow so it's the whole package? Barney: [Laughing] Yeah you did. Marshall: Had to. Barney: Oh dude if they're selling condos you gotta get me in. And don't give me the shaft. Marshall: [Laughing] Yeah you did. Barney: Had to.

Robin: Dancing is bad. Dancing leads to sex. Lily: Did you grow up in that Footloose town?

Barney: Ted Mosby *wink* architect.

Barney: (From his letter) Dear... Resident, the time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again, but unfortunately, I cannot. You see, I am a ghost. I can only materialize once every decade on the anniversary of my death. I chose to spend my one day among the living with you, sweet... Resident. Perhaps we will meet again in another decade, provided you keep your figure. Until then, all my love from the beyond. Barney.

Barney: You're like God. There's nobody hotter than God. Ted: Hmmm, I love it when you quote scripture.