Daughter: Wait, her apartment? I thought Aunt Lily lived with you and Uncle Marshall.
(flashback to Lily and Robin walking to Lily's apartment)
Lily: I could see how you would think that but I have to have my own place. It's an independence thing.
Robin: When was the last time you were there?
Lily: Three months ago. What? It's like fat pants. You hope you never have to use them but you're glad to know they're there.
Waitress: Hi, how many? Lily.
Lily: Yes, you know me?
Waitress: Yeah, from your homecoming picture. You're much prettier in person.
Lily: Yeah, I know, the bangs were a mistake.
Marshall: Also Lily's coffeemaker doesn't, you know, shock you.
Ted: No. You gotta admit, that shock, wakes you up in the morning
Marshall: You know what else wakes you up in the morning? Coffee.
Ted: They're edging me out. They're totally edging me out. I didn't' believe it but you're right.
Barney: Told you. That Lily, she's a shrewd one.
Robin: Yeah, she got you a nice new coffeemaker. How dare she!
Lily: Man, Ted's been acting weird. He started labeling all his food. He even carved "Ted" into that block of cheese.
Marshall: Yeah. Well, now it's Ed's.
Lily: He's not cool with me moving in.
Marshall: No, that's not it. I mean, you basically lived here all along. Ted loves you.
Lily: So, what's he PMSing about?
Ted: All right Marshall, we're deciding right now who gets this apartment. It may lead to an argument, but we're settling this.
Marshall: Or we could flip a coin.
Ted: Yeah, let's flip a coin.
Robin: It's a nice place. It's good to know the future has ribs.
Kevin: In the future food will most likely be served in gel-cap form. Plus cows will probably have died out by then... or be our leaders.
Kevin: Let me guess, there's been a crazy accident and you have to go.
Robin: No, I would never do that. I don't wanna go anywhere. I'm all yours.
Kevin: Look, if you're a hooker, I don't have a lot of money.
Lily: OK, a toast. Life is full of changes. One day you have an apartment, the next day it's a house of dumplings. But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff.
Marshall: I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever.
Lily: I'm pretty sure this is a mixed tape you made me in sophomore year.
Marshall: (on tape) I love you, Lily. Happy Valentine's Day 1998.
Barney: You need to mark your territory, and I don't mean missing the toilet.
Barney: You know what the dating world needs? A `Lemon Law.´
Marshall: You wanna talk about who gets the apartment after Lily & I get married?
Ted: Y'know who I think we should let deal with this problem?
Ted: Future Ted & Future Marshall.
Ted: Dammit, Past Ted!
(Robin and Barney arrives at the hospital)
Robin: Is she okay?
Marshall: They're just patching her up, she's gonna be fine.
Barney: So get this, I was on a date with this girl Jackie..
(Ted, Marshall and Robin stares at Barney)
Barney: What? You said she's fine.
Marshall: I stabbed Lily, I stabbed my fiancée.
Ted: Come on Marshall, do you really think she's still your fiancée?
Doctor: All set. She says she'd like to see the knights of the poorly constructed round table?
Marshall: (about Barney) You know, he cooks naked.
Barney: I'm tired of the whole bar scene, the one-night hookups, I'm looking for a soul mate, someone who I can love and cuddle... (pauses) or so it says in my profile. (laughs)
Barney: Wow, Jackie, you make a really great first impression. I have a feeling that tonight you might end up being Jackie (with ecstasy) ohhhh.
(on the phone)
Robin: Hi there, sexy.
Barney: Hello, Aunt Kathy, what's up?
Robin: Oh, nothing. Just sitting here, thinking about you, hot stuff.
Barney: An accident? Well, is Uncle Rudy gonna be OK?
Robin: Aunt Kathy's got an itch that only you can scratch, big boy.
Barney: Oh God! Why did he think he could build his own helicopter?
Robin: Come on, daddy, break me off a piece of that white chocolate.
Barney: Well, if he needs a transplant, he can have mine. I'll be right there.
Lily: On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiancé ran me through with a broadsword.
Marshall: Technically, it didn't go all the way through.
Lily: I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?
The German episode title is "Das Duell", the French title is "Le Duel", and the Italian title is "Il duello".
Music: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba
International Air Dates: Germany: October 4, 2008 on ProSieben; Czech Republic: December 9, 2009 on Prima COOL
Awards and Nominations:
This episode was nominated for a ALMA Award for Outstanding Script for a Television Drama or Comedy.
Robin's date, Kevin, is played by Martin Starr who used to be in Freaks and Geeks with Jason Segel (Marshall). Martin also guest starred in Undeclared, where Jason also guest starred.