How I Met Your Mother

Season 1 Episode 8

The Duel

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Nov 14, 2005 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Daughter: Wait, her apartment? I thought Aunt Lily lived with you and Uncle Marshall.
      (flashback to Lily and Robin walking to Lily's apartment)
      Lily: I could see how you would think that but I have to have my own place. It's an independence thing.
      Robin: When was the last time you were there?
      Lily: Three months ago. What? It's like fat pants. You hope you never have to use them but you're glad to know they're there.

    • Waitress: Hi, how many? Lily.
      Lily: Yes, you know me?
      Waitress: Yeah, from your homecoming picture. You're much prettier in person.
      Lily: Yeah, I know, the bangs were a mistake.

    • Marshall: Also Lily's coffeemaker doesn't, you know, shock you.
      Ted: No. You gotta admit, that shock, wakes you up in the morning
      Marshall: You know what else wakes you up in the morning? Coffee.

    • Ted: They're edging me out. They're totally edging me out. I didn't' believe it but you're right.
      Barney: Told you. That Lily, she's a shrewd one.
      Robin: Yeah, she got you a nice new coffeemaker. How dare she!

    • Lily: Man, Ted's been acting weird. He started labeling all his food. He even carved "Ted" into that block of cheese.
      Marshall: Yeah. Well, now it's Ed's.

    • Lily: He's not cool with me moving in.
      Marshall: No, that's not it. I mean, you basically lived here all along. Ted loves you.
      Lily: So, what's he PMSing about?

    • Ted: All right Marshall, we're deciding right now who gets this apartment. It may lead to an argument, but we're settling this.
      Marshall: Or we could flip a coin.
      Ted: Yeah, let's flip a coin.

    • Robin: It's a nice place. It's good to know the future has ribs.
      Kevin: In the future food will most likely be served in gel-cap form. Plus cows will probably have died out by then... or be our leaders.

    • Kevin: Let me guess, there's been a crazy accident and you have to go.
      Robin: No, I would never do that. I don't wanna go anywhere. I'm all yours.
      Kevin: Look, if you're a hooker, I don't have a lot of money.

    • Lily: OK, a toast. Life is full of changes. One day you have an apartment, the next day it's a house of dumplings. But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff.

    • Marshall: I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever.
      Lily: I'm pretty sure this is a mixed tape you made me in sophomore year.
      Marshall: (on tape) I love you, Lily. Happy Valentine's Day 1998.

    • Barney: You need to mark your territory, and I don't mean missing the toilet.

    • Barney: You know what the dating world needs? A `Lemon Law.´

    • [Flashback]
      Marshall: You wanna talk about who gets the apartment after Lily & I get married?
      Ted: Y'know who I think we should let deal with this problem?
      Marshall: Who?
      Ted: Future Ted & Future Marshall.
      Marshall: Totally.
      [Present Day]
      Ted: Dammit, Past Ted!

    • (Robin and Barney arrives at the hospital)
      Robin: Is she okay?
      Marshall: They're just patching her up, she's gonna be fine.
      Barney: So get this, I was on a date with this girl Jackie..
      (Ted, Marshall and Robin stares at Barney)
      Barney: What? You said she's fine.

    • Marshall: I stabbed Lily, I stabbed my fiancée.
      Ted: Come on Marshall, do you really think she's still your fiancée?

    • Doctor: All set. She says she'd like to see the knights of the poorly constructed round table?

    • Marshall: (about Barney) You know, he cooks naked.

    • Barney: I'm tired of the whole bar scene, the one-night hookups, I'm looking for a soul mate, someone who I can love and cuddle... (pauses) or so it says in my profile. (laughs)

    • Barney: Wow, Jackie, you make a really great first impression. I have a feeling that tonight you might end up being Jackie (with ecstasy) ohhhh.

    • (on the phone)
      Barney: Hello?
      Robin: Hi there, sexy.
      Barney: Hello, Aunt Kathy, what's up?
      Robin: Oh, nothing. Just sitting here, thinking about you, hot stuff.
      Barney: An accident? Well, is Uncle Rudy gonna be OK?
      Robin: Aunt Kathy's got an itch that only you can scratch, big boy.
      Barney: Oh God! Why did he think he could build his own helicopter?
      Robin: Come on, daddy, break me off a piece of that white chocolate.
      Barney: Well, if he needs a transplant, he can have mine. I'll be right there.

    • Lily: On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiancé ran me through with a broadsword.
      Marshall: Technically, it didn't go all the way through.
      Lily: I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?

  • Notes

    • The German episode title is "Das Duell", the French title is "Le Duel", and the Italian title is "Il duello".

    • Music: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba

    • International Air Dates: Germany: October 4, 2008 on ProSieben; Czech Republic: December 9, 2009 on Prima COOL

    • Awards and Nominations:
      This episode was nominated for a ALMA Award for Outstanding Script for a Television Drama or Comedy.

    • Robin's date, Kevin, is played by Martin Starr who used to be in Freaks and Geeks with Jason Segel (Marshall). Martin also guest starred in Undeclared, where Jason also guest starred.

  • Allusions