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Marshall: (On Lily doing "The Naked Man) You just wanna do it to change the subject.
Lily: Maybe. Hey, that's 49! Did it work?
Marshall: Like I just flossed.
Lily: I love you.
Marshall: That's fifty.
Lily: Oh, yeah! (they kiss)
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Lily: (working on her reasons-to-have sex list) I'm stuck. I can't think of the last two.
Marshall: (reading over her shoulder) "To reestablish good behavior, like shaving and dental hygiene?" Now you're conditioning me? Well, that's great! That explains why I always get an erection when I floss!
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Lily: How can you be excited about this? Mitch slept with Robin, who you claim to be in love with!
Barney: Lily, this is bigger than me and Robin! I mean, I've been working for years with my disguises and my gadgets...I'm like Batman. But this Mitch is like Superman. He just rips off his clothes, and he's good to go.
Lily: What kind of gadgets are we talking about?
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Robin: (reasons to have sex) He said he loves you, but you're not ready to say it back.
Lily: 43.
Ted: Wingman diving on a friend grenade sex.
Lily: 44.
Barney: The condoms are about to expire.
Lily: 45. Wow, this is getting a little hard.
Barney: 46.
Lily: Oh! 47, you drop a Cheeto in his lap and when you went to pick it up he thought you were making a move so you just went with it!
Marshall: Well, thank you for ruining the memory of our six month anniversary!
Lily: You got me Cheetos!
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Marshall: You befouled our marital bed because you couldn't get to sleep?
Lily: You're the one who said, "That shadow on the ceiling looks like a scary toothless clown. Night, Lily!"
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Ted: There is no way that will work on Robin. She'll just laugh at him and throw him out.
Lily: Maybe she'll kick his ass first.
Marshall: Maybe she'll shoot him with her gun.
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Mitch: The Naked Man is best used as a last resort. Sort of a Hail Mary pass on a first date when you know there's not going to be a second date.
Ted: How do you know there isn't going to be a second date?
Mitch: Ted, look at me.
Ted: I'd rather not, Mitch.
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Ted: He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed, the hero who helped me recover from the disaster of my failed almost-marriage and get back into the game. He lives in the shadows. Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? He is all these things and none of them. He is... the Naked Man.
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Ted: I just had decent sex with an awful human being. I am back!
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Barney: All these years I've been suiting-up when I should've been suiting-down.
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Vicky: And then his cane missed the top step and I swear he was falling for, like, two minutes. Oh, I love old people.