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Ted: You also kept your toothbrush in the bedroom, which was weird.
Lily: No, we kept it in the bathroom.
Ted: No, there was only one toothbrush in the bathroom and it was mine. (realizes) Oh, no.
Robin: So for eight years all three of you shared one toothbrush?
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Marshall: You know how we've been looking for couple friends ever since Robin and Barney, and Ted and Stella, and Ted and Robin, and Ted and Victoria. Geez, Ted, when are you gonna get your life together?
Ted: How'd we end up here?
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Ted: Why aren't you guys sharing a burger?
Marshall: We don't always share a burger.
Lily: Yeah, we're not weirdos who share everything!
Ted: Yes, you are!
Robin: That's exactly what you are!
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Lily: Trying to nail seven girls in seven days is a cry for help!
Ted: Barney's whole life is a cry for help!
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Jim Nantz: Never open an e-mail from Phil Simms in front of your children.
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Wendy: Take out order for Cook Pu. We have a Number Two over here for Cook Pu.
Ted: You guys got Wendy saying it now? Come on, like, I get it, Cook Pu is a stupid name and it gets stupider and stupider the more you say it. Cook Pu, Cook Pu, Cook Pu!
Cook Pu: Here.