Voice of Ted, 2030
Goof: In "World's Greatest Couple" Robin says that Lily is allergic to dogs, but Lily spends time in Robin's apartment near two dogs in this episode and does not seem bothered.
Goof: Halfway through the episode, Lily gets a phone call about the house she's interested in. This scene was shot at least twice, because every time the camera perspective changes, the dog moves from the floor to the chair, or back.
Barney: Come on! I'll, I'll teach you all of my strategies
Marshall: Oh, really?
Barney: My favorite, number seven: Create a mystery about yourself. That way, they become so intrigued, they have to hang out with you all night.
Mashall: Oh, come on, does that really work?
Barney: Maybe it does, and maybe it doesn't.
Marshall: Damn it, that's intriguing. Okay, I'm in.
Old Ted: When it comes to hangover, everyone has their own way of dealing with it.
Waiter: Hi, there! What can I get you?
Lily: I'll have the dirtiest, greasiest tuna melt you got. And a milkshake.
Waiter: You want that gravy on anything?
Ted: Surprise me.
Robin: I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here! Whoo!
Lily: What's wrong with her?
Ted: She's still a little drunk.
Barney: Tonight we'll go the The Scorpion and the Toad, a college bar. I figure in a college environment, you'll seem more mature. More worldly. And as a law student, more smarter.
Marshall: Okay. But not magic. (Looks around, Barney has disappeared) How did you do that?
Barney: I'm taking a leak, dumbass!
Marshall: You said to me that being single would be like being in a candy store.
Barney: Well, it's not like a candy store; it's a lawless post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Ted: [Lily]'s moved on?
Robin: Well, it happens. I've fallen out of love faster than that before. Sometimes—boom!—with no warning what so ever. One day we in love, the next day he's dead to me.
(Ted looks at Robin with sad eyes)
Robin: But we're great… Honey.
Marshall: I did it. I got a girl's phone number. Oh, and her hand writing is so cute, look.
(hands the phone number to Barney)
Marshall: Oh, I'm going to take her out for Chinese food, and maybe we'll take a walk though the park. It will be so… what?
Barney: Sorry, buddy, I'm taking this one, too.
(Anger builds up in Marshall's face)
Marshall: I'll kill you!
Barney: Dude! You were awesome last night! You were charming, you were funny, you were totally working that girl!
Marshall: You went home with her!
Barney: Yes I did...
Ted: Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.
Robin: You're on.
Ted: Five American bucks.
(What Lily claimed happened.)
Art professor: Oh my God. This is your best work! In all my years teaching I have never seen anything so... Needless to say, this is art! I can't teach you anything. (Gives Lily his paintbrush)
(What actually happened.)
Art professor: Oh my God. This is your best work? In all my years teaching I have never seen anything so…needless! To say this is…art. I can't teach you anything.(Takes away Lily's paintbrush)
Ted: Okay, we're way past 'truth-telling' Lily and about to hit 'Cinco de Mayo 1998' Lily, and I'm not cleaning that up again.
Ted: She's miserable. She's realized that she's made a huge mistake. Her and Marshall will be back in a week. I love it!!
Robin: Um. No. You just want Lily to be miserable. The truth is she's happy.
Ted: Trust me. I've known Lily for 9 years.
Robin: Trust me! I'm a girl!
Ted: Yeah, but you're Canadian.
The German episode title is "Neues Leben, alte Fehler", meaning "New Life, Old Mistakes". The French title is "La drague selon Barney", meaning "Picking Up According to Barney". The Italian title is "Il rospo e lo scorpione", an exact translation.
International Airdates: Czech Republic: January 6, 2010 on Prima COOL
Music Featured In This Episode:
"It was Love" by The Elected
Episode Title: "The Scorpion and The Toad"
The Scorpion and The Toad is a childrens fable: The Scorpion asks the Toad, "Hey, can you give me a lift across the pond?" The Toad says, "No, 'cause you'll sting me and I'll die." The Scorpion says, "No I won't, 'cause then we'll both drown." So the Toad says, "cool," and the Scorpion hops on its back. Halfway across the pond, the Scorpion stings the Toad. As they're going down, the Toad says, "Why? Now we'll both die," and the Scorpion says, "Because it's in my nature."
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