How I Met Your Mother

Season 5 Episode 4

The Sexless Innkeeper

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Oct 12, 2009 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
458 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

When a girl comes home with Ted from MacLaren's, but merely sleeps and leaves, Barney breaks the news that he's been used for a place to crash. Robin and Barney become the latest to suffer through an awkward "couples night" at Marshall and Lily's.

Who was the Episode MVP ?


    Barney banging on Ted for the professor role to pick up chicks & being the sexles inn keeper was funny as shi*
  • This was dumb

    This really was a dumb episode! The title-giving story was actually funny and well-written, but the way bigger story part with the double date problems of Marshall & Lily and Barney & Robin was just horrible. The writers were solely intending to make fun through adopting date clichs on double dates and that wasn't original in any way.

    By the time Robin and Barney were standing outside of Lily and Marshall's apartment in the pouring rain, I really hated this epiosde because this was idiotic and absolutely unfunny. On the other hand, Josh Radnor was very funny in this epiosde, but sadly, he was the one with the least screen time which is weird since he is actually the main character / narrator.moreless
  • Cat Funeral Meow

    It gets better right? No, not in this episode. I am going to lower my standards for this season and even with that this episode was definitely lacking. When Lilly find out that Barney and Robin are dating she gets excited because the finally have a couple friend to hang out with. When I saw this I do wonder what about Ted and Robin. I know that when Ted and Robin got together. Lilly and Marshall were not together. When Lilly and Marshall reunite. How come Lily wasn't excited about hanging out together with Ted and Robin? Maybe it was because of the wedding. I find out that the whole couple thing was kind of left field. Maybe another reason why Lilly seems to be more excited that Barney and Robin were together then Ted and Robin was because of the front porch theory. It's not just Lilly is excited but Marshall as well. Their excitement is what makes them a good couple. I did find it weird how strong Marshall and Lilly came on to Barney and Robin. They have known them for years and hung out with them for years and they do this. I can understand the other couples. How Marshall and Lilly were with the other couples including Barney and Robin only works for a person coming on to another person or how Ted would react to a girl he met. There were some good parts to this story. I really liked seeding Ranjit and his wife and you can understand why Barney was turned off when he first saw the picture back in the pilot The best part of the story and the episode was the music montages Marshall played. It kind of remained of Jason Segel's character on Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

    Normally Ted is good in a episode but this time he was more like Barney. He finds out women he meets are using him for his apartment. Barney and Robin make fun of him for it and well what he was wearing. I didn't find anything wrong or even funny what Ted was wearing. Plus I think it's better when the whole gang rips on Ted. Barney's story of what happened to him (before he dated Robin) was amusing but lacking in something. Why didn't Barney take his car to the bar? When Ted finally does up being successful with a women, how he tells the story was not that funny. Ted was a little bit like Barney when he hooked up with that women. I was not a fan of that. It would be better if Ted was just in a realtionship. The end did set up something that happen later in the season.moreless
  • Ted becomes the Sexless Innkeeper.

    "The Sexless Innkeeper" was an alright How I Met Your Mother episode. The idea of Lily and Marshall being super excited to have another couple like Barney and Robin sounds funny, but it wasn't really that funny. It was like they were trying way too hard. But I did love the part where Lily and Marshall ditch another couple and give Robin and Barney another chance. Ted's plot was boring. Again the idea of the sexless innkeeper as you flirt with someone but you really just want a place to sleep for the night. It works good in theory, but then it was totally boring. I give this episode a 6/10.moreless
  • Just plain terrible.

    Why oh why has this show become so goofy and forced? The characters used to be believable and the humour was original, but now everyone changes their characteristics to suit the episode and we get ridiculously long and drawn-out jokes that were only funny to begin with.

    I think I'm most disappointed by Marshall, who was always goofy but never over-the-top the way he is now. What's with the silly iPhoto montages and melodrama whenever he's not taken seriously? And while Barney's always been my favourite character, in this episode he inexplicably longs for another couple to double date with. Is this the Lothario we know and love?

    At least Ted's minimal screen time meant his plain-boring character wasn't given the lion's share of the comedy to carry. I'm glad we've got a lot more Lily and Robin this season, but HIMYM's sudden love of stand-alone episodes and repetitive gags make me fear a season as poor as the last one.moreless
Phillip Wilburn

Phillip Wilburn


Guest Star

Trey Ellett

Trey Ellett


Guest Star

Kristen Lapari

Kristen Lapari


Guest Star

Bob Saget

Bob Saget

Voice of Ted, 2030

Recurring Role

Marshall Manesh

Marshall Manesh


Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • In the beginning of this episode Lily and Marshall are entertaining guests in their new apartment, which was supposed to take place in 2007. Lily and Marshall did actually buy that apartment in November 2007 in "Dowisetrepla", but because of the crooked floor they discovered in "No Tomorrow" in March 2008, they couldn't move in for months later.

    • The calendar in Marshall's video has October 14 and 15 twice, while there are no October 11 and 12.

    • In the scene where Ted is sitting at the table having breakfast and watching videos Marshall has published online, he is holding the spoon in one hand, but that hand appears next to the computer when there's a close-up of the laptop screen.

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Ted: Chicks dig the professor look.
      Robin: There's something to that. I remember thinking my 10th grade math teacher was really hot. I wonder if Harold's still in jail. (everyone stares at her) What? Tax evasion. Among other things.

    • Barney: Ah, tweed. Fabric of the eunuch. Lily: I've always wondered why tweed jackets have those elbow pads? Barney: That's because people who wear tweed are always going (puts elbows on table) Aw, gee. When will I get laid?

    • Ted: Barney, are you wearing sweatpants?
      Barney: Maybe. But they're Armani!

    • Lily: What about you, forgetting to check the egg time for charades? I gave you one thing to do, Marshall! One thing!
      Marshall: One thing? I suppose that Gouda just marched itself through the door, sliced itself up, and arranged itself around not three, not four, but five sturdy cheese-bearing crackers.
      Lily: You're a sturdy cheese-bearing cracker!

    • Lily: How do we know you two won't hurt us again?
      Robin: You don't.
      Lily: Damn it! Why is there something so attractive about a bad boy? And girl.
      Marshall: I think we can change them!

    • Barney: We're sorry we haven't been returning your calls, and we respect you too much to give you the old song-and-dance, so here's the truth. The US Navy has found intelligent life at the bottom of the ocean, and for reasons too complicated to explain, Robin and I have been chosen to lead the expedition.
      Lily: Wow, Barney. That kind of sounds like a line you give your dates when you're too much of a coward to dump them.
      Marshall: That's exactly what it sounds like. But if it's true, that would be awesome.

    • Barney: Maybe we can call that weird couple down the hall from me. With the ferrets. Maybe they'll want to come over and play Taboo.
      Robin: It's after midnight. We can't Taboo-ty call them, it'd be pathetic.

    • Ted: T'was the night before, I had hours to kill.
      I sat in the tavern, grading parchments with quill.

      Barney: With quill?
      Ted: Barney, it's a poem.
      A busty, young lassie flashed me a grin.
      Her garb said "classy," but her eyes whispered "sin."
      She said, "you're a teacher?" I said, "yes, indeed."
      "I must have you," she moaned. "I'm turned on by tweed."
      With haste we did scamper to my chamber anon.
      We fell to the couch, and, bro, it was on.
      I unlaced her bodice. Our passions grew deeper.
      And thus ends the tale of the sexless innkeeper.

    • Barney: T'was the night before New Year's, and the weather grew mean.
      It was 3:00 in the morning, and I was stranded in Queens.
      The tavern grew empty, The gas lights grew dim.
      The horse-drawn carriages were all but snowed in
      Ted: Wait, if this was last year, why are you acting like it was Oliver Twist?
      Barney: Ted, it's a poem.
      Last call was approaching, And my fortunes looked bleak.
      Then I turned to my left and stifled a shriek.
      She had a peach fuzz beard and weighed 16 stone.
      She gobbled up hot wings and swallowed the bones.
      I muffled a scream and threw up in my mouth.
      I asked, "Where do you live?" and she said, "One block south."
      I swallowed my pride and six shots of whiskey.
      And prayed to the gods that she wasn't too frisky.
      Back in her cave, she prepared us a snack.
      'Neath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack.
      But when she returned, She found a sound sleeper.
      And thus she became the sexless innkeeper.

      And so are you.

    • Ted: How was the couples night?
      Barney: Brutal.
      Ted: How?
      Barney: It was like we were on a date with a sad chubby girl our mom made us call.

    • Lily: Hey, guys, good news. First of all, you can ignore all the e-mails and texts we've sent you.
      Robin: We have. Go on.

  • NOTES (3)

    • The website Marshall creates,, is real and shows some scenes from the couples night and a video of Marshall and Nuno Bettencourt.

    • The Italian episode title is "Gioie da single", meaning "Joy of Being Single".

    • International Airdate: Australia: March 4, 2010 on Channel 7; United Kingdom: June 17, 2010 on E4; India: October 4, 2010 on Star World; Czech Republic: December 8, 2010 on Prima COOL; Germany: January 19, 2011 on ProSieben; Slovakia: November 17, 2011 on JOJ Plus