Barney: Seriously, Jesus started the 'wait three days' thing because he waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died! They'd be all, "Hey, Jesus! What up!" And Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday." And they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude." And Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And they'd be like, "Okay, whatever you say, bro."
Robin: Wow, ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now.
Barney: And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday! Everybody's busy! Doing chores, working the loom, trimming their beard. No. He waits the exact right number of days. Three.
Ted: Okay. I promise I'll wait three days, just please stop talking.
Barney: (Waits five seconds) Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already! They're all "Oh no, Jesus is dead." Then bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched! And FYI, that's when he invented the high five. We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.
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