Voice of Ted, 2030
Goof : While Ted was at the bar with Royce on a double date , Royce mentioned that part of the movie when Jed Mosley got hit by a goat although that happened to Ted after he broke up with Stella .
In this episode Robin complains about Marshall being "too nice" because he helped some people rob an apartment, mistakenly thinking he was helping them move. However, in "Murtaugh" she herself did the same thing with Barney.
Marshall: What? That's normal.
Barney: There's only one street where that is normal. Hint: a giant yellow bird lives on it.
Movie Tony: Stella!
Movie Stella: Tony?
Marshall: Well, I'm stumped.
Marshall: That's what passes for comedy these days? Oh, I'm falling back in my chair! (leans backward) I'm falling back in my chair!...I'm really falling back in my chair! (hits the floor)
Marshall: Okay, that was pretty funny.
Ted: I'll be happy if Royce's only baggage is that she's too nice.
Barney: "Too nice?" That's the worst kind of baggage. Best baggage; hates her dad, thinks she's fat but isn't. Sex on the first date, and she's gone when you mention breakfast. Why do you guys hang out with me?
Robin: He gave the robbers money?
Lily: No, he lent it to them! They said they'd send us a check, so Marshall gave them our address! I mean, what's to stop those guys from coming back and tying me up? Sometimes Marshall and I like to pretend, but the reality is scary.
Marshall: Ted is not screwed. You want to know why I'm nice to everyone? It's because I don't care about baggage. Most people see a person walking down the street with a big heavy bag they're carrying and they just walk on by. But not me. I look at them and say, "Howdy, stranger. Can I give you a hand with that?" And you know who taught me to be that way? A guy called Ted Mosby. A guy who's uncynical, and sincere, and believed in things. And you know Ted, I believe, deep down, you're still that guy.
Ted:I am still that guy!
Marshall: I think you wanna go out there and get that girl!
Ted: I do wanna go out there and get that girl!
Marshall: Because she's the love of your life!
Ted: Because she's...we're three days in. She seems nice.
Marshall:Because she seems nice!
Ted: She DOES seem nice!
Robin: Why don't you say something to him?
Lily: What's the point? He's from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.
Robin: See, Marshall? This is what I mean. You can't treat New York City like it's the small, friendly, crime-free, inbred, backwoods, po-dunk, cow-tipping Minnesota hickville where you grew up!
Marshall: Crime free? Crime free? In 1994, the cashier from the feed store was held up at hoepoint. And besides, I like being friendly, okay? I'm not gonna change that about myself.
Lily: No, don't change baby. I think it's sweet. Sweet, sweet, (Marshall gets up) Sweet mother of God, he's an idiot sometimes!
Robin: Hey, what took you guys so long?
Marshall: Forget about it.
Lily: We were on our way here and Marshall wanted to stop and help some guys load their moving van.
Marshall: To be nice, didn't cost nothing!
Lily: And when the moving van drove away, who should show up but the owner of the apartment we had just helped some guys rob! And that one was hard to explain to the police.
Marshall: I'm glad we met young enough so I don't have any baggage.
Lily: Mother issues.
Marshall: I do not!
Ted: Grandmother issues.
Marshall: I definitely do not.
Barney: Great-grandmother issues.
Marshall: I just don't like it when she picks me up.
Barney: Ted, please tell me you are not impuning emotional baggage. Ted: Baggage is a good thing? Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export. Everybody: Porn.
Barney: Actually, it's porn. No one goes into porn without major baggage.
Ted: (Saluting) Major baggage.
Robin: (Saluting) Major baggage.
Old Ted: That spring I had started dating a girl named Royce. She was smart, beautiful...
Ted: Blah blah blah, we're very happy together.
Ted: Exactly. That's the problem.
Barney: Her butt?
Marshall: What is it? Too much?
Lily: Too little?
Robin: Or is it an issue of access?
Marshall: Hey, if you know what you're doing, two minutes is all you need.
Lily: Run and tell that! (Lily and Marshall high-five)
Robin: Your biggest baggage is that you're too nice.
Marshall: How is being nice, "baggage"?
Robin: Have you ever seen you walk down the street?
Marshall: I don't even know how to answer that.
Ted: Royce, this doofus in the red cowboy boots, this isn't me.
Barney: Just to be clear, are you saying you don't have a pair of red cowboy boots in your closet?
Ted: Barney... what?
Barney: Everyone wants to know!
Ted: They're actually more of a burgundy.
The Italian episode title is "Piantati all'altare", meaning "Left at the Altar".
International Airdates: United Kingdom: November 4, 2010 on E4; India: November 4, 2010 on Star World; Czech Republic: January 11, 2011 on Prima COOL; Germany: February 23, 2011 on ProSieben; Slovakia: December 1, 2011 on JOJ Plus
Guest Malin Akerman can also be seen with Josh Radnor in his 2010 directorial debut, Happythankyoumoreplease.
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