How I Met Your Mother

Marshall: Well I called her! And get this, she changed her number. What like I'm going to stalk her or something, like she's so special. Like she's the only Lily Aldrin out there. Cause there are four others out there in the San Francisco area alone. And they all seem a lot better then her, based on the brief conversations that I had with them. Robin: Does he know I'm in here. Marshall: Yeah, hey Robin.

Robin: I thought he'd never go to sleep. (Robin and Ted start kissing on the bed) Ted: Uh oh. Robin: Already. Ted: He's calling her. (Ted jumps off the bed) Robin: I don't hear anything. Ted: He's calling her! (Ted runs out and tackles Marshall in the living room)

Robin: (referring to her and Ted getting together) Hey! So, did you hear the big news? Ted: You mean how Lily and Marshall broke up and Lily's gone and nothing else remotely important happened last night? Yeah, I think he knows.

Barney: Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs. And your hard drive's filled to the capacity with Lily's.

Ted: You hungry? Marshall: What's the point. I could eat some food it's just gonna leave me. Ted: Well at least in that scenario you get to do the dumping. Come on it's Sunday! It's pancakes day. Marshall: Lily always made the pancakes. God, I love her pancakes. So soft. So warm. So perfectly shaped. Ted: Are we still talking about her pancakes? Come on. You gotta eat something. What can I get you? Marshall: Beer? Ted: No. That's what you had for dinner. Marshall: Fine. Then I'll just have left overs. (pulls out beer from side of the couch)

[At the shooting range with Marshall] Robin: And that's why Ted will never find out about this..wow, that sounded kinda scary with me holding a gun didn't it?

Ted: They were together nine years! It's only been a month and a half, he just needs to go in his own pace. Robin: He slept on our floor last night Ted! Ted: He watched a scary movie!

(About Marshall) Robin: This has to stop! Ted, we just started dating. We agreed we don't wanna move too fast and yet somehow we have a baby. He can't feed himself, he cries alot, he keeps us up all night. Barney: Have you tried breast feeding? Nailed it!

Marshall: So, I found her shampoo, guess she left it here. Smells like her, like lavender and sea-shells, hope. Somehow erotic and comforting, all at the same time. Robin: That's my shampoo.

Barney: When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Barney: So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you have a fiancée. He should be out here celebrating! He's free! He got that red-headed tumor removed. Ted: You should write and illustrate children's books.

Ted: Whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me and I will punch you in the face. Marshall: You're a good friend Ted.

Robin: My dad taught me to shoot when I was a kid. Whenever I'm feeling lonely or depressed I come here and it reminds me that... guns are fun!