Huff

Izzy: I'll get you a Compari. Russell: I don't want a drink! Izzy: Don't yell at me. Russell: I'm sorry. Izzy: You know you can rant and scream and self-destruct ad whore around and annihilate all the people in the world who don't strike your fancy bit you cannot yell at me, Russell! Do you understand?! Russell: I'm sorry.

Huff: First of all, [Russell's] lying about the diseases. Yeah. And second of all, he's completely unfit to be a father. You know that, right? Kelly: Oh I know. Huff: And yet you still want to have this baby. Kelly: Oh yes, I'm just I'm afraid I don't have anything to offer a child. Huff: Okay why not? Kelly: Well I'm 42 and I sell flat screen televisions. I've never been to college and the longest relationship I've ever had is six months. I'm not only stupid I'm just not good with people.

Madeline: I have cancer of the spine now. Beth: So, we do what? Madeline: Beth, darling, don't ask silly questions.

Nurse: Why don't we just move on to the more personal questions? Do you consume alcohol on a regular basis? Russell: I've been known to knock back a few, yes. Nurse: How many per week? Russell: 60, 80. Kelly: My God. Nurse: Do you use recreational drugs? Marijuana, LSD, Ecstasy, cocaine? Russell: Yes. Nurse: Yes to which? Russell: Yes. Kelly: Yes, to all of them? Russell: Oh honey. You've been known to dabble in the recreational drug area yourself. You chime in anytime, Kell. Kelly: I didn't know that the father's drug use would hurt the baby. Nurse: Cocaine used by men has been linked to mental problems with children. Cocaine binds itself to the sperm and then carried to the egg during fertilization. Mr. Tupper, how often do you use cocaine? (Russell is really quiet, trying to think.)

Byrd: Gram, I really don't want to go to school today. Izzy: Well don't. Byrd: Yeah but mom's gonna get all pissed off. Izzy: Oh for heaven's sake, we were almost murdered in our beds last night. Who gives a hoot about geometry?