Huff Season 1 Episode 1

Huff: I'm just saying, sex is rarely, if ever, for fun or for free.

Huff: I wonder how long it takes to get bone fragments out of plaster.

Byrd: Should I be worrying about you?
Huff: Of course not.
Byrd: Well I mean I always worry about you because you're my dad and I love you. But this is the first time you've lost a patient like this and I know how much you care.
Huff: You do?
Byrd: Uh huh. Yeah, sometimes I think you care too much, dad. It wasn't your fault.
Huff: I hope not. Do I need to worry about you?
Byrd: Uh so far so good. I mean I'm not going to bring a gun to school. I'm not shooting dope. I'm not in a gang. I don't suffer from peer pressure. I'm not suicidal.
Huff: You know what would be okay, don't you?
Byrd: What? To off myself?
Huff: To be whoever you are.
Byrd: Okay. Well, I'm not gay, dad. Which is a miracle considering I used to spend my summers with grandma.

Izzy: Nothing empties a psychiatrist's office faster than a suicide.

Izzy: [Huff's] trying to kill me. Pork chops, ha. He's a doctor for God's sake.
Beth: Well they're very lean.
Izzy: How can they be lean? They're pork chops, aren't they? You know there is one thing I will say for those Jews, their food is clean.

Huff: I'm a psychiatrist who's tired of listening.

Huff: If anybody wants me I'll be in a cheap motelroom with a homeless Hungarian musician laying down tracks on his synthesizer.

Russell: She's claiming sexual harassment.
Huff: I thought you said you never touched her.
Russell: Exactly. She suing me because she wasn't harassed.

Russell: You gotta wake up and smell the pussy puss. Men are pigs and you are too. And that's ok.