Chance: I've told you before, I don't like Christmas--never have, never will, even though you're some kind of roly-poly Santa-in-training or whatever.
Winston: Did you just call me roly-poly?
(Winston whistles for attention)
Winston: I'm sorry, but there are a few things we need to discuss here.
Richard Applebaum: Wow. You are an excellent whistler.
Winston: Thank you.
Guerrero: A janitor? Your cover is office temp? I'm a janitor?
Chance: You got something against an honest day's work?
Guerrero: Uh, yeah, actually, I do.
Chance: This is ridiculous. Blog? What do you say we just tie them up and let Guerrero handle the rest of it?
Winston: You serious? There's some duct tape right there.
(Chance whistles for attention)
Chance: I've been shot at. I've been thrown out of an airplane, been generally mistreated by a lot of very bad people. But this bickering is pretty much more than I can take, so I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air. When I get back, you two had better be calmed down, or we're breaking out the ball gags.
Richard Applebaum: Wow. He's a good whistler, too.
Joel Rosenbaum: Seriously? You mean, like, sneak out. I've never actually done that before.
Ames: Then, jeez, it's time to pop your cherry--I mean, as far as sneaking out goes. That's where the proverbial cherry-popping stops.
Richard Applebaum: Swedish? Uh, well, look... the guys who ran us off the road that night, they were not speaking English. I couldn't place it at the time, but they might have been speaking Swedish.
Rachel Applebaum: Aren't the Klaxons from down the street originally from Sweden?
Richard Applebaum: No, no, they're just Canadian.
Guerrero: You, Nick... are what we in the custodial arts like to call a real douche.
Chance: But if you ask me, in this life, you get pushed around just about as long as you don't push back.
Richard Applebaum: You're gonna do great, son. And remember... you're an Applebaum.
(as Joel kisses a girl)
Richard Applebaum: Oh, hold on. Just give him a second. He can handle it. He's an Applebaum.
Guerrero: All I know is I'd rather be tortured by a... well, by me then ever have to go back there again. Suburbs blow.
Guerrero: I got a meeting with The Plumber.
Chance: The plumber?
Guerrero: Yeah, I don't want to miss him.
Chance: It's past midnight.
Guerrero: It's not a plumber--The Plumber. Forget about it dude, you don't want to know.
Music: Christmas in Hollis (Run DMC), It's a Wonderful World (The Ramones), Na na na (My Chemical Romance), Something Wicked This Way Comes (Light For Fire), Outta Control (Envy), 2000 Miles (KT Tunstall)
Canada: December 22, 2010 on CTV
Germany: June 6, 2011 on ProSieben
UK: June 23, 2011 on Syfy
Czech Republic: March 23, 2013 on FANDA
Finland: March 25, 2013 on MTV3