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Lucy McGillicuddy Ricardo
Fred Hobart Mertz
Photographer Jim White
Press Agent Kenny
Lucy was referring to was the fact that the Mertzes came back in 2 weeks, Ricky would be starving & her hair would be brunette because she would be unable to dye it red. It was an ongoing joke that she dyed her hair.
(The phone rings and Ricky gets up to answer the phone)
Lucy: Uh, uh, uh. It's on the line.
Ricky: We have to answer it.
Lucy: We're going to. (Lucy and Ricky pick up the phone) Hello? (to Ricky) Well go ahead. Listen to your half and see who it is.
Ricky: (listening through the speaker) Oh. It's Kenny, my press agent. Tell him I'm plenty mad at him.
Lucy: (into the receiver) Hello, Kenny. Ricky says to tell you he's plenty mad at you.
Ricky: Why am I mad at you?
Lucy: Why am I mad at you?
Ricky: Because you've been promising me a spread in Half Beat magazine since last Febriary. 'Splain that if you can.
Lucy: Because you've been promising me a spread in Half Beat magazine since last Febriary. 'Splain that if you can.
Ricky: I see.
Lucy: I see.
Ricky: They're gonna do the next one on me. Well, so long, kid. Take iteasy.
Lucy: Well, so long, kid. Take iteasy.
Ethel: (shaking her head) If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe it!
Fred: Well, I saw it and still don't believe it.
Ricky: My press agent told me that I was gonna get the next spread. It was going to be "Ricky Ricardo at Home."
Lucy: What magazine was it gonna be in,'Better Homes and Garbage'?
Ricky: Honey, just drop the subject, will you?
Lucy: I'd be glad to drop it if there was any more room on the floor.
Lucy: This'll give your musician fellers a laugh, huh?
Photographer: What do you mean, 'musician fellers?'
Ethel: Well, who else reads your darn magazine but musician fellers?
Ricky: Lucy . . .
Ricky: This man is not from 'Half Beat' Magazine
Lucy: He ain't?
Photographer: No, I'm from 'Look' Magazine!
Lucy: You get Philip and I get Morris.
Lucy: It must have been quite a trip coming through the washing machine.
Ethel: I didn't mind the washing machine, but I darn near passed out coming through the wringer.
Ricky: (talking about their apartment) It's a regular pig pen.
Lucy: It ain't a regular one, but it'll do.
(After seeing Lucy dressed as a hillbilly)
Jim: Do you know who this is?
Ricky: I don't even know what it is. Get me a stick and I'll kill it.
Lucy: Come back in a couple of weeks, Ethel. We'll still be here - a starving Cuban and a dirty brunette.
(After the Mertzes watch the Ricardos answer the phone)
Ethel: If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it.
Fred: I saw it, and I still don't believe it.
Lucy: Pull up some debris and sit down, Fred.
Ricky: I just want a cigarette.
Lucy: Half of what's in this pack is mine. (crumples package)
Ricky: You mean that's the only cigarette we have in the house?
Lucy: Yes, you get Phillip and I get Morris. (splits cigarette in half)
(Lucy tells Ricky he needs to put on a tie.)
Lucy: Because company is coming.
Ricky: It isn't company; it's Fred and Ethel.
Ricky: There's nothing sloppy and dirty about this room. It just looks lived in.
Lucy: That's a good answer if you're a pig.
Lucy: Look, honey, there's a new invention you'll just love. It's a hole in the wall, has a long pole in it with a little metal things hanging on it, and it's called a coat closet.
Ricky: Well, what won't they think of next?
Lucy: How can a cyclone hit in here and not hit in the kitchen?
Songs: "The Straw Hat Song"
My Favorite Husband: "George Is Messy"
Kenny Morgan, who at the time was married to Lucille Ball's cousin Cleo, was Desilu Productions' PR representative.
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