Lucy McGillicuddy Ricardo
Fred Hobart Mertz
The Ricardos and Mertzes are slated to travel on the ship SS Constitution.
Fred: (about Lucy) She'll be alright. She's taking a little nap.
Passport Officer: Looks to me like she's taken a little nip.
(Ethel needs someone to identify her.)
Fred: I'll identify her. I'm her husband.
Passport Officer: That's too bad.
Fred: Well you don't have to rub it in.
Passport Officer: When the five o'clock whistle blows, so do I.
Ethel: Fred, if I miss this trip on account of you, I'll make you land sick.
Ethel: Hey I just had a horrible thought.
Ethel: Maybe we really look like this.
Lucy: Bite your tongue.
Ethel: Well what are we going to do now?
Lucy: Either find another photographer or a plastic surgeon.
Ethel: I'm going to go and put on a new face.
Fred: Just a minute. You've had a new face at home all this time and you're still wearing that one?
Lucy: (about her picture) Oh it's terrible. It looks like my face was put on hot and it ran.
Ricky: I look alright, but my hair looks so funny.
Lucy: What's the matter with it?
Ricky: I look like I have a head of chocolate fudge.
Ethel: If I thought I really looked like this, I wouldn't blame Fred if he walked out on me right this minute.
Fred: (about his passport photo) I look like a fist with eyes.
(Lucy and Ethel after they see their passport photos.)
Lucy: I look like Frankenstein.
Ethel: Well shake hands with your bride.
Ethel: How are you coming with your French, honey?
Lucy: Fine. I have mastered the two most important sentences in the language.
Ethel: What are they?
Lucy: "How much is that dress in the window?" and "Wrap it up; I'll take it."
Fred: Well, I have the feeling Ricky will know the French for "Take it back; it's too expensive."
(Fred says something in German.)
Lucy: Great, what does that mean?
Ethel: What do you think it means? Give me a glass of beer.
Lucy: Is that all he's learned?
Ethel: Nope, he's learned how to order nine different kinds of beer. Oh, we're going to have an interesting time in Germany.
Fred: (about getting seasick) Okay okay, but I still wish there was a way to get to Europe by bus.
Lucy: (on the phone with Marion) Yes, we're all studying different languages so we can act as guides in different countries. I'm taking French, Fred's studying German, and Ethel's learning to speak Italian. Ricky? Oh he's learning how to speak English. Ha Ha Ha. No, he's going to take over when we get to Spain.
Passport Officer: I think this woman is intoxicated. Madam, do you drink?
Lucy: I do!
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