I Love Lucy Season 6 Episode 9

Lucy: (telling the Mertzes about her disastrous evening with Uncle Alberto) Well, I ruined his straw hat, spilled punch on his clothes, crushed his cigars, and called him a big fat pig in Spanish.
Fred: Well, that's pretty bad, even for you.
Lucy: After what I did last night, Cuba may cut off America's sugar supply.

Lucy: Well, if the first time I met you, I said awful things, spilled stuff all over you, and acted like a first-class nincompoop, what would you have done?
Ricky: Just what I did. Wait for my clothes to come back from the cleaners and then marry you.

Ricky: Uncle Alberto's the one who wanted me to marry a Cu--(stopping himself)
Lucy: What were you saying, dear?
Ricky: Oh, uh, I was saying Uncle Alberto is the one who wanted me to marry a cute red-headed American.
Lucy: You were not. You were saying Uncle Alberto was the one who wanted you to marry a Cuban girl.
Ricky: I didn't say anything of the kind.
Lucy: But you were going to say it.
Ricky: How do you know?
Lucy: I might not be able to understand what you say when you say it, but before you say it, I can understand what you're going to say perfectly!

(Lucy lists Ricky's numerous relatives)
Lucy: (to Ricky) If you ask me, you did not leave the island of Cuba voluntarily. You were squeezed off.

Ricky: Ricky, what are you going to say when you meet your grandmother?
Little Ricky: Buenos días, abuela.
Ricky: Very good, very good.
Little Ricky: What are you going to say, Mommy?
Lucy: (distracted) What dear?
Ricky: What are you going to say when you meet my mother?
Lucy: Oh. Uh, bonus dies, maydree.
Ricky: 'Bonus dies, maydree'? (laughing) Honey, it's 'Buenos días, madre.'
Lucy: I don't think that's very nice, making fun of my Spanish.
Ricky: Well, you've been making fun of my English for fifteen years.
Lucy: Well, that's different. Spanish is a foreign language.
Ricky: Well, English is a foreign language to me.
Lucy: Well, the way you speak it, it is to me too.