Born in 1981: Alicia Keys, Beyoncé Knowles, the laptop computer, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, the thong, Serena Williams, and Metallica
Mr. & Ms. 1981: Tom Selleck & Sheena Easton
Babes: Olivia Newton-John, Donna Dixon, Valerie Bertinelli, Kathleen Turner, and Sandra Day O'Connor
Hunks: Patrick Duffy, Burt Reynolds, Harrison Ford, Mick Jagger, and Richard Simmons
Makeout Songs: "Keep On Loving You" by REO Speedwagon, "Waiting For A Girl Like You" by Foreigner, and "Endless Love" by Diana Ross & Lionel Richie
Michael Ian Black: (on "Jessie's Girl") Rick Springfield covets his neighbor's wife, right?
Jeffrey Ross: The Rubik's cube is the perfect '80s toy because in order to figure it out, you need to be on cocaine.
Aisha Tyler: It was like seeing Jaws and not being able to get in a pool. I saw Porky's, and I couldn't take a shower.
Anastacia: (on the DeLorean DMC-12) It was kind of like a Maxi pad with wings.
George Lopez: My Uncle Freddy passed away, and they buried him in his leather Members Only jacket, and now they're together forever.
Hal Sparks: (on the Popemobile) Keep your Pope fresh! I think my Pope is spoiling!