Joel Stein: (on Harry Potter) It's always fascinating to see what upsets religious fundamentalists.
Bobby Lee: Atkins seems like a racist diet, because no rice or noodles. We couldn't survive.
Missi Pyle: (on Office Space) I would like to think that's there's a person like Gary Cole in every office.
John Mayer: If Elian Gonzalez was not a cute kid, he would not have been embroiled in the saga that he was. If he'd had mishapen eyes, no one would've cared.
Loni Love: I don't know who wants to be a millionaire, but I know who wants to (bleep) a millionaire.
Loni Love: (on Y2K) I stocked me up on some gin and lipstick, 'cause if there was gonna be a disaster, I was gonna be drunk and lookin' good.
Dominic Monaghan: (on J.K. Rowling) She's richer than the queen. She's written four books. How does that happen?