iCarly

Spencer: Where's Freddie and that girl, uh...? Sam: Mandy. Carly: Freddie went home. Sam: And we finally got rid of Mandy. Carly: Someone needs to take that chick to the wacky shack!

(Carly, Sam, and Freddie are sitting on the chairs Spencer made) Spencer: Now if you hit that button, you'll hear a real car horn! Carly: Kay! (hits the button and one of the police lights catches fire) Carly: (jumping up from the chair) Electrical wiring just isn't your thing! Spencer: No it is not!

(Carly, Sam, and Freddie enter the room and are greeted by a big object covered with a sheet) Carly: What is that? Freddie: Looks like a big sheet. (Carly and Sam look at him) Carly: I want to know what's under the sheet. Sam: And I want to know what's between your ears, 'cause it sure ain't brain!

(on the iCarly webcast) Carly: Okay, now- Sam: -to conclude this fine webcast... Carly: Sam and I will demonstrate the classic comedy bit called The Spit Take! (starts drinking some water) Sam: Hey Carly, remember at lunch when you asked me to put ketchup on your fries? Carly: (while drinking) Mhm! Sam: It was really chicken blood! (Carly spits out the water she was drinking) Carly: And that's what's known as... Carly and Sam: The Spit Take!

(on the iCarly webcast) Carly: And now- Sam: -webcasting to you live from Seattle... Carly: My name's Carly! Sam: And my name's Sam! Mandy: (shoving Carly and Sam aside) And my name's Mandy!! Carly: Yes, you remember Mandy... Sam: Our audience member from last week! Carly: Who's still here.

Mandy: Here ya go! (hands the Fladoodles to Carly) Sam: Thanks... Freddie: Great... Carly: Uh...but we needed fat free Fladoodles! Mandy: Oh! (reaches into her bag and pulls out more Fladoodles) Fat free! I also have Barbeque, Cool Ranch, and Zesty Jalapeno!

(someone knocks on the door) Mandy: (from outside the door) It's meeeeeeee!! Carly: Aw, man! Sam: How can Mandy be back here already?! (Carly opens the door) Mandy: I found Fladoodles! Sam: I thought they didn't exist! (Carly elbows her) Carly: She means we thought they'd be really hard to find!

Spencer: (about Mandy) Can't you just tell her to leave you alone? Freddie: We tried! Sam: She won't listen! Carly: She tried to follow us home. I had to get rid of her by telling her we need some "Fladoodles" for the show! Spencer: What are "Fladoodles?" Carly: I don't know, I made 'em up!

Spencer: Anyway, thanks for coming by. I guess you'll want to hear me play a little. Blake: Yeah, we can't actually put you in the band yet, until we hear you pound a little bit. Spencer: Oh, I'm ready to pound a little bit. Or a lot of bit!

Carly: How'd you get in here?! Sam: The door was locked! Mandy: Yeah, but not all your windows were!

Sam: Hey, can I spend the night here? Carly: You don't want to go home? Sam: Nah, when my mom buys a new bikini, she usually wears it around for a couple of days to break it in. (putting her hand on Carly's shoulder) If you're my friend, you won't make me look at that.

Sam: (about her smoothie) I just that think for five bucks, they could blend a little bit better so I don't get strawberry lumps stuck in my straw! Carly: Hey, that'd be a cool name for a band. Sam: Stuck in My Straw? Carly: Strawberry Lumps! Sam: Better!

Sam: Come on Mandy, let's go to Groovy Smoothies. Mandy: Awesome! (runs to the door) We'll be like the Three Musketeers! Freddie: But there's four of us. Mandy: (pointing at Freddie) Touché!

Freddie: Hello! Mandy: I like your camera work. Sweet zooms! Freddie: Thank you. I do try my best to...zoom sweetly!

Carly: (picking up one of the show idea cards from the floor and reading it) Carly and Sam roll Freddie in bread crumbs, then bake him at 350? (Freddie glares at Sam) Sam: Just til he's golden brown!

Freddie: (looking at his computer) Hey, listen to this comment one of our viewers wrote. Sam: If it's about that zit I had last week, I don't want to hear about it! Carly: It was barely noticeable. Sam: It was a volcano!

Carly: (reading off a paper) Okay. Sam gives Carly a haircut? What, are you serious? Sam: I think our viewers would get a kick out of seeing me cut your hair! Carly: I'm not letting you near my neck with a pair of scissors!

Spencer: (about the chairs he made for the iCarly studio) It's art...you can sit upon! Freddie: May we sit upon it? Spencer: I'd be sad if you didn't!

(Carly, Sam, and Freddie walk over to the object covered with a sheet) Spencer: (running into the room) GAHHH!! (Carly, Sam, and Freddie scream) Spencer: Did I startle you? Carly: Yeah! Freddie: You did! Spencer: Sorry! But what's under this sheet is a big surprise, to make up for your last birthday. Freddie: I thought you bought her a lava lamp? Carly: He made me a lava lamp...which exploded! Spencer: It didn't explode. It burst into flames!

Freddie: (After finishing iCarly webcast) Now here's some punch for you and you and me. To Mandy, who knows what happened to her! Carly: Let's just be glad she's out of our lives!