iCarly

Sam: Uh, she interrupted me! Yank her ponytail! Freddie: Nah, I'm gonna allow it. Sam: Why?! Freddie: Because I love her!

(on the iCarly webcast) Carly: (explaining her side of the story) It started when I gave Sam an iCarly t-shirt that I worked so hard to make. It was a really special gift, and then she traded it for concert tickets! Sam: But you wanted to go to that concert! (Freddie yanks her ponytail) Sam: Ow! Freddie: It's Carly's turn! Sam: But-but she- (Freddie yanks her ponytail) Sam: But-but I- (Freddie yanks her ponytail again) Sam: Well just let me- (Freddie yanks it again) Sam: I'll be quiet!

(on the iCarly webcast) Freddie: See, Carly and Sam are in a big fight, and both girls think they're right. Carly: I am right! Sam: You am wrong! Carly: You am obnoxious!

Freddie: So...do you have anything helpful to say here? Spencer: Helpful? Freddie: Yeah! Spencer: No.

Spencer: What's the matter? You look glum. Freddie: I am glum. Spencer: Why so glum? Freddie: Can we stop saying glum? Spencer: Sure!

Freddie: (sticking his head in the door) Hey, Spencer. Spencer: Hey, Freddo! Carly's not home yet. Freddie: I know. But can I still come in, though? Spencer: Do you need to borrow money? Freddie: No. Spencer: Please come in!

(Carly and Sam are arguing) Carly: I thought you said you weren't gonna talk to me! Sam: I'll stop when you stop talking to me! Carly: Don't you give me ultimatums! Sam: Don't use words I can't understand!

Carly: I'm not going to the concert with you! Sam: Oh, now you're being ridiculous! Carly: Better than being a gift giver-awayer! Just forget it! Sam: Fine, don't go to the concert! Carly: I won't! Sam: I don't even care! Carly: I care way less than you care! Sam: You don't know how much I don't care! Carly: Oh, all you ever think about is ham! Sam: I'd rather have a shirt made of ham!

Carly: (about the tickets) Where'd you get these? They're totally sold out! Sam: That guy Rodney, from school. The dude who gets arrested all the time! Carly: Oh my God, he must've charged you a fortune! Sam: Zero! I traded him the shirt you gave me for the tickets! Carly: ...You traded the shirt? Sam: Yeah! Knuckle touch! (holds out her hand) Carly: I'm not touching your knuckles! Sam: Why? They're clean! I washed them yesterday, see? (licks her knuckles)

Carly: What are you doing? Spencer: Well, since I keep forgetting to feed my fish, I decided to use my sculpting skills to build an automatic fish feeder! Carly: Maybe now Swimmy won't go hungry! Spencer: Oh. Well, sadly, Swimmy went very hungry. (pointing to the fish bowl) This is Brock!

Jeremy: Look at my foreign tissues! Sam: Yes, your snot is very lucky! Bye!

Carly: (about Spencer's dead pet fish) You forgot to feed him again, didn't you? Spencer: I'm not good with pets that...eat on a regular basis! Freddie: You're lucky you know how to use the microwave. Carly: I know! Or else I'd be waving goodbye from Spencer's toilet!

Spencer: (walking into the room) I'm sad. Carly: Why? Spencer: I was just at a funeral. Carly: In the bathroom? Spencer: Yeah! It's for my fish, Reggie. (sounding as if he's about to cry) I loved that little guy! Even as I dropped his lifeless carcass into the toilet!

Freddie: I like this song! (putting his arm around Carly) Pretty romantic, huh? You feeling the mood? (they hear a toilet flushing) Carly: Yeah, I'm feeling the mood!

Freddie: (sticking his head in the door) Psst! Is Sam gone? Carly: Yeah, she left. Freddie: (comes into the room) Good! Then I won't be needing this! (puts down a baseball bat)

Sam: How great are you? Carly: I don't know, very!

Sam: (opening the present Carly gave her) Woah, you got me an iCarly t-shirt! Carly: Look on the back! Sam: Aw, it's our heads! Carly: In shirt form!

Young Sam: Hey, I'm Sam. Young Carly: Hi, I'm Carly. Young Sam: Can I have that sandwich? Young Carly: No way! Get your own! (Sam snatches it from her and pushes her to the ground) (Carly snatches the sandwich back and shoves Sam) Young Sam: You're alright! (sits down next to Carly)

Freddie: What's the twenty-fifth? Carly: It's the five year anniversary of when Sam and I first met. Sam: I remember it like it was only five years ago.

Andy: Hi iCarly! This is my pet turtle. His name is Doctor Nub. Carly: Doctor Nub? Sam: There's no way that turtle went to med school.

Carly: I give glasses with feet girl an eight. Freddie: I give her a nine! Sam: Seven. And I give Freddie a negative two. Freddie: Why?! Sam: Just for being you.

Freddie: You know, they say when a girl constantly rips on a guy, it really just means she has a crush on him. Sam: Yeah but, I wasn't ripping on a guy, I was ripping on you.

Spencer: (talking about ex-girlfriends) They don't like it when you ask out their sisters... That will get you a fork in your arm.

Freddie: Carly and Sam can't both be right. Spencer: Or can they?... No, you're right, they can't.

Carly: Aww, Sam, you're crying. Sam: No... Freddie's such a dork it makes me emotional sometimes.

Sam: Aw, you shouldn't have gotten-gimme it!

Carly: My hair feels like it was attacked by a vacuum cleaner. Sam: Mine feels like it was yanked by a Freddie.