Season 1 Episode 15

iHate Sam's Boyfriend

Aired Saturday 8:00 PM Feb 09, 2008 on Nickelodeon
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Episode Summary

When Sam's new relationship starts affecting the web show, Carly and Freddie try everything to get Sam and her new boyfriend broken up. But the problem is, they cannot be separated. Meanwhile, Spencer attempts to make a Claymation film.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

  • QUOTES (22)

    • Freddie: (about Jonah) Are you sure Jonah tried to kiss you?
      Carly: Well, let's see, he said "kiss me", then puckered his lips, so call me crazy, but I think the boy wanted some Carly kissin'!

    • Freddie: (to Carly and Sam) Hello, ladies. Or should I say lady and Sam?
      (Sam squirts cheese in his face; Carly takes the can from her)
      Sam: Hey!
      Carly: You can have this back when you learn to handle squirtable cheese responsibly.

    • Freddie: How are we going to do rehearsal if she won't stop texting Jonah?
      Carly: (bends down next to Sam) Hi, I'm Carly. And I'm Sam. And this is a new segment we like to call, OBSESSIVELY TEXTING YOUR BOYFRIEND!

    • Spencer: (walking into the room) Okay, Mr. Space Hamster, we're- (notices Jonah holding the clay alien) OHHHH MY GOD!!! MY MOVIE IS RUINED! I have to start all over again, and my deadline's in less than twenty-four hours! (snatches the alien from Jonah)
      Jonah: Ha. Look, its arm came off!
      Spencer: Ha! Yeah, why don't you stay for dinner and rip my heart out!!

    • Jonah: Carly, when you're doing the wig bit, you gotta act more like Sam.
      Carly: Weird. I thought I was acting like Sam!
      Jonah: Have you ever thought about taking acting lessons?
      (Carly and Freddie just stare at each other)

    • Sam: (as Carly) Hi! I'm Carly. I live with my brother Spencer, I do my homework, and I shower every day.
      Jonah: (laughing) Oh, good one!
      Carly: (as Sam) I'm Sam! I do bad things, harass people, and eat everything that doesn't eat me first!

    • (Sam's cell phone rings from inside Carly's locker, and Sam reaches for it)
      Carly: If you try to open the locker, I will bite your hand off!

    • Carly: (about Sam) She blew off iCarly rehearsals so she could go play with Jonah?!
      Freddie: Well, I know how we can get back at her!
      Carly: Huh?
      Freddie: You and I should start dating! That way-
      Carly: FREDDIE!
      Freddie: I know...

    • Freddie: How are we going to rehearse if she won't quit texting Jonah!
      Carly: Maybe like this? (goes over to Sam) Hi! I'm Carly. (pretending to be Sam) And this is a new bit we like to call OBSESSIVELY TEXTING YOUR BOYFRIEND!

    • (Sam's cell phone rings)
      Sam: Oh! It's Jonah, SHHH!
      Carly: I wasn't even talking.

    • Carly: (entering the room) Hi!
      Sam: Hey!
      Spencer: Aw! You made me slice the head off of my space hamster!
      Sam: Space hamster?
      Carly: I thought our government cancelled the Space Hamster Program.

    • Sam: Okay, okay. I know. He probably had a fever and didn't know what he was saying.
      Carly: Will you stop and just be happy that Jonah asked you out?
      Sam: But why would he ask me out?
      Carly: Why wouldn't he?
      Sam: Well, you know, some boys find me kind of...abrasive.
      Carly: (sarcastically) No!
      Sam: It's true!

    • Freddie: So um, why don't you ask Sam out?
      Jonah: Kay, I will! Thanks for hooking me up.
      Freddie: (looks confused) I'm talking about the blonde one.

    • Freddie: Hey, Jonah!
      Jonah: Hey, what's up?
      Freddie: You remember that girl that was with me when you gave me back my notes?
      Jonah: Yeah, she seems cool. Cute, too!
      Freddie: I'm talking about the blonde one!
      Jonah: Yeah, I know. Her name's Sam, right?
      Freddie: (awkwardly) Right. So um, I hear she... kinda likes you.
      Jonah: Does she? Tell me about her.
      Freddie: Sure! Well she's...she's.. got...really great teeth!
      Jonah: That's great, but what's she like?
      Freddie: Well, she's...like...she's really nice...cool...pleasant to be around.
      (Freddie looks ill)
      Jonah: Man, are you okay? You look kind of sick!

    • Carly: Please? For me?
      Freddie: Don't do that.
      Carly: What?
      Freddie: You think whenever you say "Please? For me?" that I'll just do anything you want! Not this time!
      Carly: Please? For me?
      Freddie: Okay.

    • Carly: Tell Jonah to ask Sam out.
      Freddie: No! Jonah never did anything bad to me!

    • Carly: Freddie, do you believe in love at first sight?
      Freddie: (excitedly) Yes! I do! I always did!
      Carly: I mean that Sam likes your friend Jonah.
      Freddie: Oh...

    • Carly: You love Jonah!
      Sam: Kinda. He's so cool!
      Carly: Then you should ask him to hang out.
      Sam: Nah, a guy like that won't want to hang out with me.
      Carly: Why not? He makes chicken noises and bothers other children. He's perfect for you!
      Sam: Forget it. I gotta go squirt cheese down Gibby's pants before class. (walking away) Gibby! Don't you run, Gibby! GIBBY!

    • Sam: Freddie, go to your locker.
      Freddie: Why? I don't need to go to-
      Sam: (points can of cheese at him) Go to your locker!
      Freddie: Okay...okay...okay! (leaves)

    • (Sam squirts some cheese from a can and eats it)
      Carly: Hey. What's that?
      Sam: Lunch.
      Carly: (takes can from Sam) Lowfat cheese in a can? This is what your mom gave you for lunch?
      Sam: Hey, I'm just happy she woke up before noon!

    • Freddie: (to Carly and Sam) Hello, ladies! Or should I say, lady and Sam.
      (Sam squirts him with cheese)

    • Carly: (imitating Sam) Hi, I'm Sam. I like to eat porkchops in bed.

  • NOTES (2)