iCarly Season 1 Episode 6

Spencer: (while working on his new butter sculpture) Don't worry Toasty! Soon you'll be back and butter than ever! (glances around) Thank God no one heard that.

Spencer: Look, I gave him no fruit, now please, I'm out of butter-
Mrs. Benson: False! I saw you come home yesterday carrying grocery bags filled with butter!
Spencer: You spied on me?
Mrs. Benson: No, I just happened to be glancing through my peephole!

Mrs. Benson: I came over because I heard screaming. Freddie, are you alright?
Freddie: Yes, mom!
Spencer: He's fine, but I really-
Mrs. Benson: You know he's allergic to fruit?
Sam: Aw, who's got a fruit problem?

Sam: (about Spencer's melted butter sculpture) Gross, it's like a giant baby threw up!

Freddie: (about Nevel) And what did he mean, you'd rue the day?
Sam: Yeah, what does rue mean?
Carly: No one knows!
Spencer: I got it, right here. Roux - a mixture of fat and flour used to make sauces and soups!
Sam: Nevel called you a fat flower?

Sam: (to Freddie) You just keep making out with your stuffed animals!

Carly: Look, I don't want to sound rude, but I really didn't come here to dance. Could you just interview me about the web- (Nevel kisses her) Nevel!!
Nevel: I stole a kiss, upon your cheek. And now another kiss I seek!
Carly: Seek some tapenade! (shoves tapenade all over Nevel's face)

Carly: So, you ready to drive me to Nevel's for my interview?
Spencer: Yep! Let's hit it! (tries to grab the car keys off the counter, but they keep slipping out of his hands) My hands have a-
Carly: Butter?
Spencer: Yeah...I-I got 'em though. (tries grabbing them again and they fall to the floor, so he picks them up with his mouth) Let's go!

Spencer: (to Carly) Okay! So what are we doing for dinner? What's that little tween belly hungry for?

Carly: (about Tasha) She irks me!
Sam: I wanna do bad things to that chick!
Freddie: (sitting in a grocery cart) You should!
Sam: I will!
Freddie: Cool. What are we gonna-
(Sam pushes the cart in Tasha's direction)
Freddie: Woah, woah, what are you doing?! I didn't mean me! Look out!! (he crashes)

Carly: Hey Jeremy! You've heard of our web show, right?
Jeremy: Sure. I've seen every epi- (starts sneezing and coughing)
Freddie: Flyer? (offers him an iCarly flyer)
Jeremy: Yes, please! (takes it, blows his nose, and hands it back to Freddie) Thank you.
Freddie: You keep that!
Jeremy: You're nice.

Sam: I ordered Chinese food.
Carly: During the show?
Sam: There's no wrong time to eat an egg roll!
Carly: Ahh.

Sam: (About Nevel) Yeah, let's make him regret writing that review!
Carly: Oh he's not just gonna regret it, he's gonna rue it!

Carly (finishing an e-mail) There. All sent. Let's hit it!
Spencer: Um well...yeah, but first I was kinda hoping-
Carly: You wanna go make the toilet water turn blue?
Spencer: So much!
Carly: Do it!

(Spencer tells Carly he's building a sculpture out of butter)
Spencer: Ask me what I'm getting paid!
Carly: Ok what are you getting –
Spencer: Money baby!

Carly: Oh yay, you went shopping! What'd you get?
Spencer: Well, you see...
Carly: (looking into the grocery bag) Butter, butter, butter... Oh look! Butter!
Spencer: I bought a lot of butter.
Carly: Clearly. This all you got?
Spencer: No! I also got this thingy that makes the water in your toilet turn blue!
Carly: Great! So for dinner, we can have butter and blue toilet water!

Carly: (about Jeremy) Didn't he have a cold last week?
Freddie: Last week, the week before that...
Sam: Why are we talking weeks? That lump's been blowing his nose nonstop since first grade!

(on the iCarly webcast)
Carly: Okay I'm Carly!
Sam: I'm Sam!
Carly: And we like to draw families on our toes!
Sam: Observe!

Spencer: Hey why isn't it cold in here? Toasty the Baker! Good God!! (Spencer runs to his sculpture and screams)

Carly: (About Nevel) I'm gonna go scrub his creepy lip residue off my cheek.

(Sam and Carly are interviewing the delivery guy)
Carly: So Chuck where are you from?
Chuck: Wisconsin.
Carly: Are you in college?
Chuck: No.
Carly: Ok, oh what's the weirdest thing that's every happened to you while you were delivering food?
Chuck: I don't know.
Sam: Chuck, you're very boring.

Spencer: Aww I got butter on my elbow... (He tries to lick his elbow)
Carly: Spencer?
Spencer: Mmhmm?
Carly: It's not possible!

Carly: (About Nevel) Okay, I got there, Nevel sat next to me, he sniffed my hair, he showed me an x-ray of his brain, he tried to make me dance, and then he kissed me!
Freddie: Woah, he kissed you?! That jerk! Come show my lips exactly what he did!
Carly: Yeah I don't think so.

Mrs. Papperman: Uh, why don't you and I go in the kitchen? I'll make you some tea.
Spencer: Will there be lemon?
Mrs. Papperman: Yes.
Spencer: All right then!

Nevel: Look at this, it's an x-ray of my brain.
Carly: Ah interesting.
Nevel: Big, isn't it?
Carly: Yeah, that's one beefy brain you got there!

Nevel: Are you hungry?
Carly: No.
Nevel: I'll fetch you a snack.

Nevel: You feel the rue? You feel it?!
Jeremy: He outsmarted me.

Chuck: Hey your toilet water's blue! Look at it! (Water falls from his hands) I'll get more!
Carly: Now he gets a personality.
Spencer: Who's the dude playing in our toilet?

Nevel: What is that?
Spencer: Oh! I'm an artist. I'm making a sculpture out of butter.
Nevel: Hm. Your work disgusts me. (walks off)
Spencer: Nevel's a stupid name...

Freddie: Must you attack me with words?
Sam: Do you want me to use rocks?

(meeting Nevel for the first time, revealing himself to be a kid)
Carly: (confused) You're Nevel?
Spencer: You're just a little kid. (to Carly) He's so cute.
Nevel: (firmly and flatly) I created and now run one of the world's most visited web sites which gets over five million page views per day! I'm not cute.
Spencer: Yeah, you are. I can tell 'cause I wanna mess up your hair. (messes Nevel's hair) Who's cute? (messes Nevel's hair again) Who's a cute Nevel? (messes Nevel's hair again) Who gets five million page views? (messes Nevel's hair again) You do!
Nevel: Mother!

Carly: Sweet!
Spencer: Sweet like corn syrup!
Carly: High fructose?
Spencer The highest!

Freddie: (looking at the Nevelocity website) Uh...get ready to rue!

Nevel: (to Carly) You'll rue this day, you'll rue it!