iCarly

Government agents: You two are in a whole lot of trouble. We're going to need to speak to a parent or legal guardian. Carly: Spencer! Spencer: I am in the bathtub!

Spencer: Well, if it isn't my little sister, Carl-A!

Carly: (falling onto the couch) What do I do?! Spencer: Aw, you're a smart little Carly! You should know, sometimes doing what's right is more important than keeping a promise. (looks at Sam) One more thing. Carly: What?! Spencer: There's an "A" stuck to your butt! Carly: That's so embarrassing!

Carly: Sam, I'm sorry! I told Spencer everything. Sam: What kind of world do we live in, where an ankle shake means nothing anymore?

Carly: I'm a thirteen year old girl, and I've got the fingers of a hobo! Did you know they can't afford cable?!

Carly: I didn't sleep at all last night! Freddie: The report card thing? Carly: Yes! The guilt is killing me! Freddie: I know! Me too. Carly: And like it wasn't bad enough, Spencer put a gigantic new TV in my room. How can I sleep when I got forty-two inches of high-def guilt staring at me all night?!

Carly: (sadly) Hi. Freddie: Hey...what up with the hoodie and sun- (Carly takes off the sunglasses she's wearing) Man, you look horrible! Carly: Thanks. Girls love hearing that!

Spencer: Oh! Check it out. I've almost entirely rebuilt your A sculpture! It'll be a permanent reminder of what you did! Carly: Ain't that the truth!

Freddie: Are we under arrest? Carly: Are you gonna take us to juvie? Freddie: (sounding as if he's about to cry) I don't want to go to juvie! Carly: They're gonna take us to juvie! Carly and Freddie: (as if they're about to cry) Ohhhhhh!!!

Freddie: Oh and uh, just for the record, the only reason you pinned me down like that was 'cause I wasn't ready. Carly: Are you ready now? Freddie: Yeah, why- (Carly tackles him and successfully pins him down again)

Carly: You changed my B plus- Sam: -to an A plus. And, I changed two of my D's to B's. And I even bumped up one of Freddie's grades. Carly: Why?! Sam: I owe him forty bucks, and I figure now we're even.

Principal Franklin: Wait. I spilled some syrup on my tie. Do you know anything about removing stains? Teacher: Yes! I took a course on stain removal in community college!

Principal Franklin: Sam, just sit quietly and try not to break anything. Sam: No promises!

Principal Franklin: Now, what trouble have you gotten in over the past week? Sam: Uh, let's see...I got yelled at by Miss Briggs for getting an F on a quiz. Principal Franklin: Why did you fail the quiz? Sam: I didn't know the answers! Principal Franklin: Right. Next? Sam: Uh...oh! I got kicked out of the cafeteria for slapping Gibby with a piece of pizza! Principal Franklin: Why did you slap Gibby with a piece of pizza? Sam: I found it on the floor, I wasn't gonna eat it!

Freddie: Mr. Devlin's like, the strictest teacher in school. Spencer: Yeah, I know. He used to be the lunch room monitor. He gave me detention. Sam: For? Spencer: Playing with my fruit.

(Carly is frantically taking notes) Mr. Devlin: And subsequently, this was interpreted as a violation of their rights to freedom of religious expression, as granted in the Letter of Majesty, issued by Emperor Rudolf the Second, in 1609. Carly: (erasing her notes) Uh, Mr. Devlin- Mr. Devlin: No, I will not slow down!

Spencer: You finished your history report? Carly: No, I finished the greatest history report in the history of history reports!

Sam: (walking in) Okay, it was me, alright? I hacked the computer and I changed the grades! Principal Franklin: Now that I believe.

Carly: (To Sam) Can you not see how upset we are?! Freddie: We don't care about taters! Carly: Even in tot form!

Sam: (To Freddie and Carly) Look. I promise it gets easier. Soon you'll be able to lie and feel nothing at all!

Spencer: Why can't you tell Principal Franklin the truth? Carly: 'Cause I promised Sam I wouldn't tell anybody! Spencer: Did you ankle shake on it? Carly: Yes! Spencer: Oh my God.

(On iCarly) Sam: I'm Sam! Carly: And I'm guilty! Sam: Carly. Carly: And I'm Carly!

Sam: She's a little upset. Spencer: Why is she upset? Carly: Cause hobos can't afford cable!!

Carly: But this means I'll get a B+ for the semester! Mr. Devlin: Yes, congratulations. (smirks and walks out of the classroom) Carly: I'd like to punch three holes in him, that's what I'd like to do!

Carly: You gave me a B? But I thought you said it was the best in the class? Mr. Devlin: It was but, it was printed on three hole paper, which I hate. Carly: Then just let me reprint it for you on paper that's completely hole free. Mr. Devlin: Reports can only be submitted once, silly little truffle.

Spencer: (sitting in front of lamp) Lamp. Lamp. Lamp! Carly: (comes up beside Spencer) I think it knows it's a lamp.

Sam: Guess what, guess what, guess what!? Carly: Is this about that new bacon flavored bubble gum? Sam: No! They have that?! Carly: Yeah!

Sam: Tell you what. On the next iCarly, we tell everyone to go egg Mr. Devlin's house! Carly: Nah, he'd probably like it, 'cause eggs don't have three holes!