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Carly: (to the Daka President) And you have to give full refunds to every iCarly viewer who bought Jankfoots!
Freddie: Techfoots.
Carly: I know what I said!
-
Daka President: You think that I won't take legal action against you? You think that I'm above suing children?! Well I'm not! So I hope you have a good lawyer!
Carly: Oh, we do!
Spencer: (coming down the stairs) Gentlemen! I'm their lawyer! And this is my necktie! (shows them his flashing necktie)
-
(on the iCarly webcast)
Sam: And wait til you see this!
Carly: For those cold winter days-
Sam: -every Techfoot comes with a built-in toe warmer!
Carly: And if you turn the toe warmer on high-
Sam: -like this! (turns it on)
Carly: Then bang it on a table...(Sam bangs the shoe on the table)
Sam: It magically catches on fire!
Carly: Isn't that handy?
Sam: That'll keep your piggies warm!
-
(on the iCarly webcast)
Carly: And now, our technical producer, Freddie, will show you another cool thing about the Techfoots.
Freddie: Okay. If your computer's hard drive is cluttered with a bunch of files and music and "precious pictures" of family and friends, the Techfoot does an amazing thing with Wi-Fi techonology. See, you just sync the pedometer up to your computer, and... (types something on his laptop) ...it wipes out your entire hard drive! Isn't that great?!
-
Spencer: One minute, I'm blading down Hill Street. Feeling good! On top of the world! The next thing I know - BAM! I got a face full of dumpster!
-
Freddie: Look, on iCarly tonight, you guys gotta tell everyone that Techfoots bite!
Sam: Uh no thanks, I don't wanna get sued for everything I have!
Carly: What do you have?
Sam: Oh yeah...
-
Freddie: Here's another one. (reads a comment on the iCarly website) Why don't you iCarly jerks come over to my house so I can put on my new Techfoots and jump up and down on your faces?
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Daka President: Look, you signed a deal with Daka Shoes, and you took our money. So you're going to keep talking up the Techfoots on iCarly or you're gonna be in big legal trouble!
Freddie: We're not scared of you!
Sam: Yeah, my uncle happens to be a lawyer!
Carly: I thought he got arrested?
Sam: Shhh!
-
Carly: How about this. We go talk to the guys at Daka, tell them everything that's wrong with the Techfoots, and then maybe they'll fix them.
Freddie: I think that's smart.
Carly: Sam?
Sam: ...Oh sorry, I was lost in this muffin!
-
Carly: Maybe it's just me but, didn't the Techfoot shoe they showed us at Daka look better than these?
Freddie: (looking at his Techfoot shoes) Yeah, I think you're right.
Sam: Who cares? I got a lady making me pie!
-
Sam: Sonya! (Sonya runs into the room) I'm done with this plate.
Sonya: Dessert?
Sam: I really shouldn't.
Sonya: I can make you cake.
Sam: I'm thinking pie!
Sonya: I will make pie!
-
Sam: Sonya, please make me a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato.
Sonya: Yes, Miss Sam!
Carly: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato!
Sam: Make that two, please!
Sonya: Yes, Miss Sam!
Freddie: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato!
Sam: Tough nubs!
-
Carly: What?!
Freddie: You hired a personal chef?!
Sam: Well, my mom doesn't feed me!
-
Freddie: So what'd you buy?
Carly: Some awesome sunglasses from Mercedes Lens!
Freddie: Woo! Fancy.
Carly: Okay, tell me which pair you like better! These? (puts a pair of sunglasses on and poses) Or these? (puts on another pair)
Freddie: Uhh...
Carly: Or these? (puts on yet another pair)
Freddie: How many did you buy?!
Carly: I don't know! I stopped counting after thirty!
-
(in the Daka conference room)
Carly: Where'd you get the turkey sandwich?
Sam: Found it on some dudes desk!
-
(Spencer walks in)
Carly: Where have you been all day?
Spencer: Canada!
-
Daka President: Well, you know when you put out a new shoe, they always have a few minor problems.
Sam: Minor?
Freddie: What would be a major problem?
Carly: If they came to life in the middle of the night and ate your family?
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Daka President: And it even offers Wi-Fi connectivity.
Braxley: I call it Shoe-Fi. (laughs)
Daka President: Braxley!
Braxley: I'm stupid.
-
Braxley: I swear! One minute my turkey sandwich was sitting there on my desk and then, gone!
Daka President: Get over it Braxley!
Braxley: I'm stupid.
-
Carly: Ok, we'll ask for a hundred. I hope they don't think that's pushy.
Sam: (sarcastically) Yeah. I'd hate for anyone to think I'm pushy!
-
Spencer: Aw! This is just sliced ham! (walks over to counter and starts flinging ham around) How dare those Canadians try and pass this off as some sort of fancy bacon? (slowly smells and nibbles off piece of ham)
-
Carly: I can't believe you went all the way to Canada.
Spencer: Eh, it wasn't a total loss. (holds up bag) I bought Canadian bacon while I was there! Who wants night breakfast?
Carly & Sam: Me!
-
Carly: You know, I'm not sure it's fair to blame the bus 'cause you fell asleep.
Spencer: It's not just that. Last week on the bus, a hobo spilled chili on me, then continued to eat it...without a spoon!
-
Sam: Ah, it's not that bad. You know I was born on a bus?
Freddie: Huh?!
Sam: My mom's not good at planning!
-
Sam: Ah, I am so hungry
Carly: Then go make something.
Sam: Ah, I am so lazy.
-
Freddie: Woah, last week's webcast of iCarly, the most viewers we ever got!
Carly: Really?
Sam: How many?
Freddie: Three hundred fifty-five thousand!
Carly: Woah!
Sam: Holy cheese!
-
Sam: Didn't Spencer go to law school, for like twenty minutes?
Spencer: Three days, thank you.
-
Kid at school: Hey, thanks for telling us to buy Techfoots.
Another Kid: (sarcastically) Really awesome shoes!
Another Kid: We want our money back.
Carly: Well, we didn't sell you the shoes.
Kid: Fine, then we're just gonna stop watching iCarly.