iCarly

Lewbert: Hey! What are you kids doing with that pumpkin?! Kid 1: There's a dude in here! Kid 2: We're gonna roll it down the street! Kid 3: And into the ocean! Lewbert: Happy Hanukkah!

Carly: Well, explain the severed clown head in the closet. Sam: Yeah, what about the severed clown head? Freddie: Yeah! Gary: Severed clown head? Oh! (gets it out of the closet) It's a phone! See? Freddie: Well, how come it's not plugged in? Gary: It was...no one ever called.

Mrs. Halberstadt: WHY IS EVERYONE WHISPERING?! Gary: Mother, turn on your hearing aid. Mrs. Halberstadt: WHAT?! (Gary turns it on for her) Gary: BETTER?! Mrs. Halberstadt: You don't have to shout!

Gary: I'm Gary. I live here. Freddie: Huh? Mrs. Halberstadt: What?! Carly: We thought this apartment was vacant! Gary: No. I've lived here with my mother for the last twenty years. Why are you here? Carly: Well, we do this web show. Sam: iCarly. Mrs. Halberstadt: iWHAT?!

(on the iCarly webcast) Carly: Okay. We thought this would be a cool place to webcast from on Halloween. Sam: But it turns out this apartment really is haunted! Carly: This could be the very last iCarly webcast ever! Sam: And if anything horrible happens to us... (motions for Freddie to bring the camera closer) ...Mom, I lied to you. Those pants do make you look fat!

(a bunch of kids are yelling and pounding on Spencer's door) Lewbert: HEY! I got a noise complaint! What's going on here? Kid: There's a dude in there who ticked us off! Another Kid: We wanna beat him up! Lewbert: Okey dokey. (takes a key and unlocks the door) Beat him quietly! QUIETLY!

(on the iCarly webcast) Carly: Okay, Freddie's filming me and Sam as we hide in the closet of an abandoned apartment. Sam: Which we'd think is haunted, if we didn't know there's no such thing as ghosts! Carly: Yeah, keep hanging on to that dream.

(Carly, Sam, and Freddie run into a closet screaming) Carly: Everybody in here? Sam: I'm here. Freddie: Here. Sam: Wait, whose butt is this? Carly: Sam! Sam: Sorry.

(Freddie is trying to open the door) Freddie: The doorknob came off! Sam: Well why'd you pull off the doorknob?! Freddie: (sarcastically) 'Cause I wanted it for my knob collection!

Freddie: (about the door to the haunted apartment) It's not opening! Sam: Just turn the knob! Freddie: It won't turn! Carly: Try hitting it with something! (Sam grabs Freddie and uses him to hit the door)

Freddie: Alright. Now let me establish a cross duplex transmission between my laptop and my camera. Sam: Wow, a tech-talking witch boy! Look out, ladies!

Sam: What are you? Afraid? Freddie: No! ...I'm just concerned for Carly's safety!

Spencer: (about Lewbert) He's not that bad! Carly: Uh huh! And his crazy wart freaks me out! Spencer: Just don't look at it! Carly: Yeah, that's so possible. It's like a big brown hairy gumdrop!

Spencer: So, what are you doing for Halloween? Carly: A very special iCarly Halloween webcast. (sees Spencer's scary pumpkin design) Ah! Spencer: Appropriate. What are you and Sam gonna talk about? Carly: You know, all things Halloweeny. Spencer: Ha, Halloweeny.

Spencer: (while drilling into the huge pumpkin) I'm about to hit guts!

Carly: (about the giant pumpkin) That's a pumpkin? Freddie: Did it grow next door to a nuclear power plant? Sam: Can we eat it?! (Carly and Freddie stare at her) My mom makes me dinner like twice a year, okay?

Carly: Let's do iCarly tonight from apartment 13B! Sam: (at the same time as Freddie) Yes! Freddie: (at the same time as Sam) No! Carly: Come on Freddie, Halloween night? We do a live webcast from a supposedly haunted apartment? Freddie: I say no! Sam: If only someone cared what you say!

Sam: (after a long pause to stare at Freddie in his witch costume) Too easy!

Carly: Hey. Here comes Sam. Freddie: Oh, great! She's gonna see me in this costume and insult me nineteen different ways!

Lewbert: Hey, boy! Freddie: What? Lewbert: You making fun of me? Freddie: No. Why do you think I'm making fun- Lewbert: What's with that fake wart on your face? You think warts are funny? Do you think I'm happy this thing grew here? Do you think that I like that it has hair?! Freddie: No! My mom made this costume! Lewbert: Well, she's sick! You got a sick mama!

(from inside the apartment) Mrs. Benson: I spent three weeks making that for you! Freddie: (angrily) Alright mom, I'll wear it! Gah! (Freddie comes out into the hallway in a witch's costume and Carly laughs) Freddie: I knew you'd laugh. Carly: I'm not laughing. Sometimes my lip just quivers like this!

Sam: (To Freddie) Get in there Witchypoo.

Carly: Hey, I gotta take this letter down to the lobby. Wanna come? Freddie: Sure. Carly: Okay - so, do you want to take the stairs, or do you want to fly us there on your broom? (laughs) Freddie: Nice. Carly: I'm sorry! Don't get mad and turn me into a toad! Freddie: Carly! Carly: I can't help it!

Carly: I'm home!! (closes door) Spencer: I never left!!

Carly: Hey, can I have a sip of your tea? Spencer: Sure... but that's gasoline. (Carly spits "gasoline" out) Spencer: Kidding! (laughs)