I'm Alan Partridge

Season 1 Episode 3

Watership Alan

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Aired Monday 10:00 PM Nov 17, 1997 on BBC Two
9.2
out of 10
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Episode Summary

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Alan has upset the local farming community with some ill-judged comments regarding farming practice. Whilst presenting a boating holiday promotional video, the farmers retaliate with some rather choice insults shouted from the bank of the river... and with a large, dead cow.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Peter Baynham

    Peter Baynham

    Hugh Morris

    Guest Star

    Doon MacKichan

    Doon MacKichan

    Jenny

    Guest Star

    Chris Morris

    Chris Morris

    Peter Baxendale Thomas

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Alan: You do actually sound like a bond villain. Dr No...vocal chords.

      • Alan: You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth.
        Peter Baxendale Thomas: I don't think this has got anything to do with class.
        Alan: And the plums have mutated and they've got beaks.
        Peter Baxendale Thomas: Beaks!?
        Alan: Yes beaks.
        Peter Baxendale Thomas: Have you got any more of this or do you want to stop at quacking plums?
        Alan: No, no, you make pigs smoke.

      • Michael: Can I get you a drink?
        Alan: Have you got any tonic water... with some ice... and er, a segment of lemon.... and could you top it up with some Gordon's Gin?
        Michael:[looking slightly bewildered] A gin and tonic?
        Alan: Yeah that's right.

      • Alan: You farmers, you er, don't like outsiders do you? Like to stick to your own.
        Peter Baxendale Thomas: What do you mean by that?
        Alan: I've seen the big-eared boys on farms.
        Peter Baxendale Thomas: For goodness sake this is all...
        Alan: If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother.

      • Peter Baxendale Thomas: Listen, you've upset half the farmers in this community. You seem to alienate everybody you come across, including, I gather, your wife, which is why you end up living like some bloody tramp in a lay-by.

      • Alan: Yeah, can I just read you something from Top Gear magazine? No, it's alright, I've got it here, I've got it here. [Opens the magazine on the bed and reads] "With a mere ninety break-horse-power available, progress is too leisurely to be called fast, but on the motorway in fifth gear the Megane's slow pace really becomes a pain. Uphill runs become power-sappingly mundane, while overtaking National Express coaches can become a long, drawn-out affair." Not my words, Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine. [Click] Hello?

      • Alan: Lynn's a good worker, but, I suppose she's a bit like Bert Reynolds. Very reliable, but she's got a moustache.

      • Alan: Robert a bit slow on the uptake, there. I don't know what he had for breakfast. Presumably an infected spinal column in a bap. Just making a quick joke there about how infected cattle feed can attack the central nervous system.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

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