In the series premiere, the four jokers "cook up" some fun at a local burger joint, scam tourists, and prepare a trick for customers at a warehouse store.
On the Floor
Joe: (to Sal) Next woman behind you when you turn around, yell 'MILF alert'.
Joe: I hate the French.
Murr: (to French customer) I, I gotta be honest. I freaking hate the French.
Sal: (after Joe takes a bite out of a lady's candy bar) Is there already a bite taken out of that?
Joe: Half-eaten. Sal's throwing up in his mouth right now.
Sal: That's gross.
Tourist: Is there a separate line for plays versus musicals?
Q: Uh, yeah, do you have a pen? (lady hands Q pen) Alright, I'll write that down for you.
Murr: Launch the pen!
Sal: 'Tom Brady' that son of a bitch!
Tourist: (Q throws pen) I paid a lot of money for that pen!
Q: Good 'morrow son, and welcome to the Castle of White! What's thou craving, bringith to me, and I shall slay it!
Customer: Two hamburgers..
Q: Two, burgers of ham!
Customer: Two cheeseburgers..
Q: Two, burgers of cheese!
Customer: And it's free!
Q: Your wit, sir, is legendary!
Customer: What's the damage?
Q: (cash register malfunctions) 'Tis confusion!
Joe: Murr, woman in, woman in! Tell her my girlfriend thinks it's appropriate I work here.
Murr: Rhyme everything they ask for.
Sal: Are you kidding me?
Customer: I need seven cheeseburgers.
Sal: Seven schmeeseburgers?
Customer: An order of onion rings..
Sal: An order of funion smings..
Customer: And five cheese sticks.
Sal: So that's, seven bee's furgers, one funion dings, and one five-piece bee's blicks? We do accept blips if you accept the service.
Sal: You have something on your, uh, yeah right there. That's it, right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah..
Murr: Go touch it, touch it!
Sal: Right, here.. (touches customer's face) Oh, it's a mustache!
Murr: Scream the order back to him.
Joe: (screaming) So that's one double White Castle, four White Castle burgers, and a small drink!? Staying in!?
Sal: Leaping lizards, we are at White Castle!
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